Shit’s just cooky these days, so it shouldn’t come as a shock that The Real Housewives are conducting disaster relief efforts better than Donald Trump. The Countess Luann de Lesseps went down to Florida with the Red Cross to help with Hurricane Irma recovery. Even before Trump was bitching about a blown budget and tossing off-brand paper towels like footballs to the crowd during his hurricane relief photo op check-in in Puerto Rico, Bethenny Frankel was there to show a ho how relief is done. Continue reading
The divorce between Bethenny Frankel, of the Real DrunkMesses New York City, and Jason Hoppy was finally finalized last year after a messy 4-year-long fight, but it looks like the smegma-covered drama lives on. Page Six says that Jason was arrested on Friday and charged with harassing and stalking his ex-wife. Jason reportedly showed up to their 6-year-old daughter’s school and screamed, “I will destroy you,” at Bethenny. Now, I love some Dynasty-like drama that involves a crazy bitch vowing to destroy another, but it kind of ruins the moment when there’s little kids around. Alexis Carrington taught me that when you say the words, “I will destroy you,” you should pause for a second afterward for maximum dramatic effect and it’s kind of hard to do that when children are crying.
Don’t worry about that dude behind Coco. Coco’s minions always carry around a fainting couch because everywhere she goes, men, women, children, animals and a few inanimate objects pass out from being exposed to that much elegance, perfection and grace. So as soon as that guy began the fainting process by closing his eyes, I’m sure one of her assistants rolled a couch behind him.
Coco, whose legendary camel toe decided to pull back a little last night, sashayed into Heidi Klum’s Halloween party in NYC with her glorious titty balls trying to use all their strength to HULK SMASH through those strings. Those strings must’ve been made with Teflon, kryptonite and a blessing from God because they are holding on. Chichis looking like two big-headed toddlers trying to headbutt their way out of a playpen.
Most would say that Coco wore a slutty referee costume from Yandy, but I say that Coco wore a slutty Footlocker employee costume from Yandy. Although, Ice -T went as a prison inmate, so there’s a chance that they could’ve coordinated their costumes and Coco actually dressed up as some kind of slutty prison house aerobics instructor. Whatever the case may be, Coco still filled that party up to the top with her beauty.
Here’s more of the tricks who showed up to Heidi Klum’s Halloween party, and yes, 99% of them wore a better costume than Heidi did. Bethenny Frankel, as a Dollar General Catwoman with rabies, is the 1%.
Huh, I always thought that acting like a mess was the kind of thing that would land Bethenny Frankel a job, not lose her one. But I guess that only applies to Real Housewives appearances.
Last April, Bethenny got a limited-run weekly talk show on Andy Cohen’s SiriusXM channel called B Real with Bethenny. On August 10th, Bethenny announced she was taking a summer break and would be back in the fall. Well, it’s definitely fall, and B Real with Bethenny still hasn’t returned. According to Page Six, it’s never coming back, and it’s all thanks to that drunk tantrum she threw at a Coldplay show in the Hamptons this summer.
I no longer think that Coldplay is about as edgy as a popped polo shirt collar on a suburban dad driving a bright green Camaro, because some hardcore shit went down at one of their shows over the weekend. It was more rock & roll than the time Chris Martin accidentally said a curse word during a backstage pep talk.
Coldplay played a show for SiriusXM at a bar called The Stephen Talkhouse in the Hamptons on Sunday and the place was filled with regulars who won a contest and famous tricks like Karlie Kloss, Goopy Paltrow, Sarah Jessica Parker, Beyonce, Jay-Z, Christie Brinkley, Jimmy Buffet, Harvey Weinstein, Calvin Klein, Jon Bon Jovi and professional shit stirrer/diet booze mogul Bethenny Frankel of The Real Drunk Mess of New York City. Since the Botoxed praying mantis seems to live her life like Bravo’s cameras are always on her, she caused a scene and committed a criminal act when she wasted the sweet nectar by throwing a cocktail at some chicks who annoyed her. That’s what Page Six says anyway.
Reality shit show trick/crap-tasting booze mogul and Emperor Kuzco’s rival Bethenny Frankel was a speaker at a women’s entrepreneurial summit over the weekend, and guess what? She offended people! No, she didn’t offend people by serving them that piss-flavored mouthwash Skinny Girl. She offended them with the words that dribbled out of her mouth.