Nicki Minaj is pissed. At several people. After the Grammy, EVERYONE (aka just us bloggers in need of stuff to post) wondered what Nicki’s reaction would be to Cardi B becoming the first solo woman to win the Best Rap Album award. We now know her response, and it’s not a positive one, but not necessarily because of Cardi B herself.
During a recent Lenny Letter essay titled Time to Uncover, Alicia Keys wrote about how she was taking a break from makeup because she didn’t “want to cover up anymore.” Alicia is clearly very serious about the whole #nomakeup thing, because last night she sashayed onto the red carpet of the BET Awards in a face covered in nothing.
Alicia is one of the very lucky few who can do #nomakeup and still look like a human person. Her skin/eyes/mouth/eyebrows all look like what they’re supposed to. When I do no makeup, I look like something from a remake of Eraserhead by Harmony Korine. My mouth looks like a Biggest Loser before-and after of an awkward pink slug. My eyes like two puffy slits with creepy little see-through lashes. The two patchy hairlike skidmarks above my eyes that can barely be classified as eyebrows (my eyebrows truly bring shame to the Dlisted family). So, good for you for going without makeup, Alicia. And if she really wants to make it a permanent thing, I would volunteer to take any and all makeup she decides to get rid of. I very clearly need it.
Alicia also carried the low-maintenance theme into her ensemble as well.
I’m pretty sure it will soon be illegal to hold an big event in 2016 and not give Her Majesty Beyonce the highest spot on the bill (see: The Superbowl, the CFDAs), so it should come as a shock to exactly no one that Beyonce opened the BET Awards last night. The working title of which could have been The Beyonce is Extremely Talented Awards, because she took home a whole bunch of trophies.
Beyonce was given the Coca-Cola Viewers’ Choice Award (uh oh, don’t tell Pepsi), the BET Centric Award, the FANdemonium Award, Best Female R&B/Pop Artist award, and Video of the Year for “Formation.” But before she collected all five awards she was nominated for, she opened the show by performing “Freedom” with Kendrick Lamar. They went all out, too. Beyonce brought the huge wading pool she uses during her Formation tour on stage with her and they got into some water sports. Not like that. They kicked water at each other while dancing in front smoke and flashing lights. I’ve put the video after the cut, because it plays automatically. Although that might just be the telekinetic powers of the Beyhive at work.
Even though she appeared to be throwing a “Pedo, please” side-eye during the BET Awards last night, Tracee Ellis Ross would like to make it very clear she wasn’t doing that on purpose. In case you missed it, Tracee Ellis Ross’ maybe-shade moment happened as she was introducing a performance by Tyga and Chris Brown. For some reason, right before Tracee said Tyga’s name, she paused and looked off stage, then gritted her teeth. I like to imagine her mother makes the exact same face whenever she tells someone that she’s related to the Simpson family.
Can we revisit that shade moment right quick? pic.twitter.com/1oieqmFiu3
— Craig™ (@SmokeeRobinson) June 29, 2015
Of course, shortly after Tracee announced Tyga and Chris Brown’s performance, the internet assumed that was Tracee’s way of popping open a tiny cocktail umbrella and throwing an itty bitty hint of shade at Tyga. But Tracee says no. Tracee posted a video on Instagram of her trying to pronounce Tyga’s name and explained that she doesn’t hate him.
“Absolutely not thowing shade at @kinggoldchains (I’m not the shade throwing type) as u might remember from my TMurda “further exploration” video I have trouble saying his name right & I was nervous. I was hosting a live show. I was fighting in my head cause I was so scared I would say it the wrong way. That would have been awful. Saw him as he came off stage and there was nothing but love. You rock Tyga.”
“Would it have killed her to name drop his underage girlfriend while she was at it???” hissed Kris Jenner.
I think it’s pretty obvious that Tracee wasn’t throwing shade. If she wanted to, she wouldn’t have done it herself. She would have called legendary diva Diana Ross to the stage to do it for her. If you have access to the best, you get the best. The best part is, Tyga would have never even have known he was being shaded, because Diana Ross wouldn’t have even read his name off the teleprompter.
Because I don’t want to leave you with the taste of Tyga in your mouth, here’s Tracee walking the BET Awards red carpet before the show with Anthony Anderson.
And now we know what it looks like when Rihanna mimes a bored wave with a pile of cash in her hand.
RiRi showed up to the BET Awards last night, because a party truly isn’t a party until Princess Pass-The-Blunt arrives. And also because she’s got a new video to hustle. “Bitch Better Have My Money“, a song which I assume is about Rihanna shaking down Rita Ora for a portion of her unlicensed impersonator profits, has been assaulting our ears with yuh-yeahs and blap-blap-blaps since March. Three months later, it looks like we’re finally getting a video. RiRi showed a trailer for “Bitch Better Have My Money” (the whole video gets released on Thursday) last night during the BET Awards, and she did it in the most RiRi way possible: by whipping a stack of cash at BET President of Programming Stephen Hill’s face before she stepped on stage.
A serene-looking Kim Kardashian kept her kulo klassy at the BET Honors last night. By “klassy,” I mean her husband didn’t have her serve that ass up like two greased n’ shiny hogs gone fetal per usual. Instead, Yeezus stuffed her into a dark-sided frock that made her look like Bore-ticia Addams.
It’s refreshing (I guess) to be able to see Kim’s sex ferret face not being eclipsed by her donk, but that’s a weird dress. Yes, I’m sure it’s considered to be the finest couture, but man, do these two try too hard. I know she’s never said no to anything (exploitation, watersports, her mother pinning her soul down with the Ajanti Dagger in a magic circle for Satan to come collect), but someone tell her she can! Eff his delusions of Kunty Karl! You can contain the ass in a palatable way, Kimmy. Coats or something, right? I don’t know, my shirt is from Target.
And how come every time I see these two out and about (and that’s a lot), their baby is nowhere to be found? Yes, this is a “red carpet” situation, but I’m talking in general. Don’t tell me it’s some sort of “keeping the kid away from the paps” situation, either. Just call it a day and change that kid’s name to “Who?” already.
Check out more pics of Kim and Kanye at the BET Honors at the Warner Theatre in Washington, DC below.
Photo credit: WENN and Splash