Category: Ben Affleck

Hans Zimmer Quit Scoring Batman Movies Because He Wasn’t Feeling Ben Affleck

March 18, 2017 / Posted by:

What a coincidence! Jennifer Garner also quit enduring having to hire 400 pound nannies with leprosy because she wasn’t feeling Ben Affleck! (Or did she?)

Superstar film composer Hans Zimmer is fucking done professionally scoring Batman movies. He was so enamored of Christian Bale’s laughably growly take on Batman that Ben Affleck’s interpretation (that would seemingly be “florid and premenstrual“) left him feeling hollow inside.

FYI, Hans. Ben Affleck’s version of Batman has left a lot of people feeling hollow inside. Such as comic book geeks, the citizens of Gotham City, any poor bastard actor they’ve approached to play the inevitable role of Robin, etc. The list goes on.

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Rehab Won’t Affect Ben Affleck’s Involvement In “The Batman”

March 15, 2017 / Posted by:

Ben Affleck announced on Facebook yesterday that he spent time in rehab for an alcohol addiction. Many people reacted by wondering just how many more stories about Jennifer Garner divorcing/not divorcing Ben we were about to get. Nerds, on the other hand, were probably wondering what his trip to rehab might mean for The Batman.

There’s no need to worry about it, if that’s something that kept you awake last night. A source tells Entertainment Weekly that Ben’s trip to rehab hasn’t affected production. The source claims Ben is still working on the script, and he’s doing it with DC Comic’s chief creative officer Geoff Johns. As of a month ago, there was talk that The Batman was without a director, but Warner Bros. has since confirmed that Matt Reeves will direct. Also, according to Variety’s Justin Kroll, The Batman isn’t going to happen for a while.

This is probably terrible news for Ben Affleck. There have been rumors that Ben really doesn’t want to be Batman anymore. And I’m sure a little part of him was hoping they’d just start production without him. Now he’s stuck waiting around until 2018. You know, alcohol rehab might still work to his benefit. “Uh oh, don’t think working on The Batman is good for me right now. Bat rhymes with vat. Booze is sometimes distilled in a vat. I’m sort of trying to stay away from booze and…uh…words that rhyme with booze-y things. Gosh, so sorry guys! Looks like I’m out.



Ben Affleck Says He Just Got Out Of Rehab For Alcohol Addiction

March 14, 2017 / Posted by:

There’s been not-so-blind items about how an actor went off to get treatment with help from a solid influence in his life. I read those blind items in a Bawsten accent and the scent of vape vapor wafted off of them, so they were obviously about Ben Affleck. Today, those blind items probably got their obvious answer when Ben said on Facebook that he spent some time in rehab to deal with an addiction to booze. It’s not the first time that Ben dried out and got help in rehab. Ben got treatment for booze abuse in 2001 at the celebrity rehab place of the early-aughts, Promises in Malibu. In his Facebook message, Ben also thanked his co-parent Jennifer Garner for supporting him.

I have completed treatment for alcohol addiction; something I’ve dealt with in the past and will continue to confront. I want to live life to the fullest and be the best father I can be. I want my kids to know there is no shame in getting help when you need it, and to be a source of strength for anyone out there who needs help but is afraid to take the first step. I’m lucky to have the love of my family and friends, including my co-parent, Jen, who has supported me and cared for our kids as I’ve done the work I set out to do. This was the first of many steps being taken towards a positive recovery.

TMZ ‘s source says that Ben checked into rehab shortly after he presented with Matt Damon at the Oscars on February 26. But who knows? Ben could’ve left rehab for the day to present at the Oscars. The last time he was papped with Jennifer Garner was in early February.

Well, I guess this means that those “Ben and Jen are trying to save their marriage” rumors are totally back on after they were denied. If Ben and Jennifer are really trying to work it out, then I have a feeling she will soon give him a special gift for completing rehab. Jennifer will take Ben to a luxurious spa that just so happens to specialize in a treatment called hardcore laser tattoo removal.


Bennifer 2.0 Update: Jennifer Garner Is Reportedly Still Going Through With The Divorce

March 10, 2017 / Posted by:

Two days ago, we were talking about how Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck have put their divorce on hold for now. And now we’re back to our regularly scheduled program about how Jennifer Garner is absolutely getting divorced from Ben. Tune in – I don’t know, 16 hours from now? – when another source comes forward claiming that Jen and Ben are planning a vow-renewal ceremony. But for now, sources are saying the divorce is still on.

Yesterday, Jennifer Garner was papped while running errands in Brentwood, and she wasn’t wearing her wedding ring.  TMZ and UsWeekly say her ring was MIA because she’s definitely going through with the divorce. Sources tell TMZ that the divorce is “very much on,” and adds that there is no talk of reconciliation. A source tells UsWeekly pretty much the same thing; Jen will move forward with the divorce when the time is right.

A source close to Ben tells UsWeekly that Jen could be taking her time with the divorce because they’re currently getting along. The source also thinks that they could always get back together and that there is a lot of “love and support” between them.

All of this back and forth has come at a perfect time for Jennifer. It’s a good distraction from what people should really be talking about: Nine Lives. It recently got added to Netflix, and I watched about 20 minutes of it before I could feel my brain trying to rip itself from my spinal cord. Jennifer, hurry up and decide what you’re doing with those divorce papers, because we need to have a long hard conversation about your judgement in scripts.

Pic: Splash

Ben Affleck And Jennifer Garner Have Called Off Their Divorce

March 8, 2017 / Posted by:

On February 17, 2017, this site farted out the headline: Jennifer Garner May Finally File For Divorce From Ben Affleck.

On February 23, 2017, this same site farted out the headline: Jennifer Garner Might Not File For Divorce From Ben Affleck Just Yet.

And now People is saying that Jennifer Garner is no longer planning to legally quit Ben Affleck and they’ve both pressed the pause button on filing for divorce. These messes! They better send all of us a jumbo-sized bottle of Xanax and a barrel of red wine, because they have taken us on a roller coaster of emotions (not really).

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Jimmy Kimmel Roasted Matt Damon All Night At The Oscars

February 27, 2017 / Posted by:

Jimmy Kimmel’s longest running joke is that he hates Matt Damon. It started years ago on Jimmy Kimmel Live! when he joked that Matt Damon had been bumped from the show for time, which eventually spawned 2008’s viral clap-back “I’m Fucking Matt Damon” and a special all-Matt episode in 2013 called Jimmy Kimmel Sucks!. Last night, Jimmy kept the joke going by poking ans scratching at Matt Damon pretty much every chance he got.

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