Jimmy Kimmel’s longest running joke is that he hates Matt Damon. It started years ago on Jimmy Kimmel Live! when he joked that Matt Damon had been bumped from the show for time, which eventually spawned 2008’s viral clap-back “I’m Fucking Matt Damon” and a special all-Matt episode in 2013 called Jimmy Kimmel Sucks!. Last night, Jimmy kept the joke going by poking ans scratching at Matt Damon pretty much every chance he got.
[Insert “Well, at least she won something.” crack here] You can also [insert “Sad Affleck” GIF here], too.
A Hillary Clinton-hatin’ documentary and Batman v. Superman: Would Have Been Better Off As A Legal Drama swept the Golden Raspberry Awards (aka “The Razzies“) this year.
After two long years of wondering if Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner were ever going to get divorced, we were finally given an update last week. A source had told UsWeekly that it was only a matter of time before Jen filed divorce papers and made Ben her second ex-husband. Star magazine was so confident she was about to file for divorce that they put the story on the cover of their latest issue. Well, Gossip Cop is calling BS on those recent divorce rumors. Here we go again!
Gossip Cop is side-eyeing a source that recently told Star that Ben and Jen got into a “nasty fight” last month, which then triggered her need for a divorce. Another Star source claims that Jen has had enough of Ben’s drama, and that she was sick of him putting himself first before their family. A source tells Gossip Cop it’s all fiction; there was no fight, and there are no divorce papers. Nothing has changed in the world of Bennifer II. Their source adds that Ben and Jen “remain close” and that they’re committed to co-parenting their three kids.
However, Gossip Cop adds that a divorce isn’t out of the question. Ben and Jen haven’t reconciled or anything.
You’d think that after two years in relationship limbo, Jen’s hand would be signing imaginary divorce papers in her sleep. But for whatever reason she might not want to do it at the moment. Jen seems like a considerate type. She’s probably just waiting for Ben to finish trying to get divorced from The Batman before she dumps another divorce on him.
Batman used to be the coolest bitch on the block, with the cape and the batarangs and only the most interesting psychotics with the most eclectic dress sense trying to kill him. That was then. This is now. He’s allegedly down to only 40 followers on Instagram (most of which are instaspam), Commissioner James Gordon is totally screening his calls, and NO ONE wants to direct his next movie.
Now Dawn of the Planet of the Apes director Matt Reeves has also decided to pull out of directing The Batman movie, faster than the Batman pulls out of Catwoman.
Approximately 462 years ago (or 2, if you want to get technical like that), Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck announced that they were done with being married each other. Since then, there’s been tabloid story after tabloid story about how he wants her back and how he doesn’t want her back. Jennifer and Ben’s split has been dragged on for so long that following it is like watching The Accountant. It feels like it’s never going to end.
But if UsWeekly is telling the truth, then the end is near. The answer to the question, “What’s in Ben’s wallet?“, will soon be: folded up divorce papers. Sorry, but that damn Capital One commercial plays so many times that it lives in my mind now.
Ben Affleck’s standalone Batman movie hasn’t even started shooting yet and it’s already turning into a bigger wreck than Batman & Robin (although, it’s one of my favorite thanks to Vivica A. Fox’s important cameo appearance as Ms. B. Haven). When The Batman was first announced, Warner Bros. said that Ben would be writing, directing and starring in it. But then Ben dropped out as director and Matt Reeves was brought in as his replacement. Now there’s a rumor that Ben doesn’t even want to star in it anymore and is done with playing Batman. “You’re late to the party, bitch, we were done with you playing Batman the day it was announced,” screamed millions of tricks to Ben.