You’re doing fashion right if people look at you and don’t know whether that’s a real outfit on your body or if they somehow woke up on October 31st and you’re going to a costume party dressed as the rejected groupie of Florida’s fourth most popular Mötley Crüe cover band.
Phoebe Price and Shauna Sand’s heir apparent Bella Thorne somehow managed to glue together the pieces of her broken heart after two STUNT QUEEN relationships failed to reach long-term contract negotiations, and got herself a new look. Normally, I’d scream ILLEGAL over a ginger (even a faux ginger like Bella) erasing the sun’s rays from her hair by dying it, but in this case, I love it!
That black/blue hair color mixed with that 80s Sunset Strip hooker ensemble makes Bella look like the face of Alan’s of North Hollywood’s (that’s Frederick’s of Hollywood’s stepbrother) collection inspired by The Misfits (I’m talking about The Misfits from Jem, not the other band). Bella also looks like she’s doing fuck-effort Vine from GLOW cosplay.
In other words, Bella Thorne is continuing to show the world that she is the future of style, grace and pure glamour.
Here’s more of Bella delivering loads of blue-haired Cherie Currie perfection while going to a party in L.A. last night with my other new favorite fashion icon Keke Palmer.
File this under: Shit you can talk to your 10-year-old cousin about while the other adults are fighting about politics on Christmas Day.
Our faith in true love was restored a few days ago when completely organic pictures of 19-year-old Bella Thorne (star of Boo! A Madea Halloween) and 24-year-old Charlie Puth (the toddler-faced crooner who is responsible for that One Call Away song) came out. The certified natural pictures were of Bella and Charlie looking like a couple on the beach as she gifted the eyes of beachgoers with her three-cent Pretty Woman cosplay glamour. But sadly, their days of doing staged photo-ops are behind them, because they’re over. I know, I can’t believe I’m writing about them again either. But it was either them or that other fake couple (Blob & Chinet).
When the kids aren’t screaming over the drama between that one who left Fifth Harmony and the other Harmonies (translation for the oldies: it’s like Ginger leaving the Spice Girls, I think), they’re brain-burping up giant question marks over LiLo-in-training (copyright: Pop Culture Died in 2009) and my favorite ginger teen mess Bella Thorne doing a couple-y photo-op with Charlie Puth on a beach in Miami. If you’re an old who’s brain-burping up a giant question mark over the name “Charlie Puth,” he’s the Nickelodeon-ized Andy Samberg/Sam Smith hybrid who is responsible for causing Marvin Gaye’s body to roll into a pile of skeleton dust.
Natalie Portman is currently knocked up with her second kid, so I can see why she’d want to show up to the Critics’ Choice Awards last night wearing your auntie’s two best tablecloths as a dress. When you’re shuffling down a red carpet for two, your number one priority is comfort. Your legs are tired, your arms are tired, your stomach looks like the overstuffed backpack of an airplane passenger that refuses to check a bag. Sometimes you just want to wear a cape-thing and call it a night.
Natalie took home the Critics’ Choice Award for Best Actress for her Jackie. I like to think Natalie kept with the throwback theme and her ensemble was an homage to 1960s maternity wear. Based on years of research (Joan and Betty’s pregnancies on Mad Men), I believe if you got knocked up in the 1960s you were legally required to dress like a deflated shower gel pouf.
It wasn’t all floaty-fabric capes. There were also floaty-fabric robes too.
I know Lady Gaga’s thing right now is hats, specifically that pink one that’s practically the official mascot of her Joanne promotional tour. So I shouldn’t have been surprised that she showed up to the American Music Awards last night in her biggest, stiffest-brimmed hat. It was nice of her to switch out that pink hat for the evening. I’m sure it was starting to get all limp from all the sweaty forehead foundation it was no doubt collecting and could use a good soak before the Grammys in February. Sorry AMAs, but you get the backup hat.
Bella Thorne, seen above drinking Fanta like we all do, recently spoke to Maxim about lots of stuff that I’m sure the average Maxim reader really appreciated knowing. Bella talked about wanting to do Demi Lovato, the numerous thirst traps she sets on Instagram and her boyfriend Tyler Posey. She also talked about coming out as bisexual and how some uptight industry people responded to that declaration by telling her to turn it down.
Back in August, Bella admitted she was bi after people asked about a Snapchat of her kissing her brother’s ex-girlfriend. Ever since then, she’s made no secret about her sexual identity on Instagram and Snapchat. Bella says her fans were supportive of her, but publicists and studios weren’t feeling it.
“It is hard in this business for us. It really is. I have already had people talk shit to me. And it comes from people in the industry, not even fans. I’ve had studios tell me my image is too ‘out there,’ hinting at it but not really saying it. [Publicists] tell me all the time about my social media and my Snapchat, but I’m not going to change myself for this business, and I’m not going to change myself for anyone else.”
I’m pretty sure Bella’s not the only 19-year-old taking thirsty bikini selfies for Instagram likes and making out with a variety of people on Snapchat, so I have no idea why these publicists and studio people are so shocked that she’s doing that kind of stuff. It’s like Bella works in some kind of weird part of Hollywood that only employs sweet Midwestern ladies in their mid-40s named Jeanie who are still all shook up from that time they walked past a topless mannequin at Dillard’s.