The strange thing was that everyone wasn’t told to go home as soon as this feathery vision of dusty pink gluh-moore whipped his boa train on the carpet. Why even bother going on with the 2017 CFDA Awards when it was already shut down by an exquisite bejeweled pink ostrich? I’m sure that is a question that fashion professors will ponder with their students for years to come.
Model devourer and “Pussy Posse” elder statesman, Leonardo DiCaprio, attended the amfAR gala at Cannes on Thursday. Fellow guest and desolate-eyed model, Bella Hadid, was photographed speaking with him while having placed one hand on his shoulder. This is celebrity gossip, so that means they’re totally fucking.
The annual Cannes amfAR Gala for AIDS research was held last night, and it’s an event that truly brings out the best attempts in fashion. This is what Nicki Minaj looked like, and I love it all. The Morticia Addams hair paired with the un-dead boudoir eleganza from Roberto Cavalli and the ten pounds of diamonds makes her look like Vampira’s money-hungry hustler sister Scampira. Watch out, rich dudes – she’ll suck the life out of you and your bank account!
The brown-haired, dead-eyed wooden model named Bella Hadid is currently at Cannes. And the other brown-haired, dead-eyed wooden model named Emily RideAJetski is also at Cannes, and at yesterday’s premier of Nelyubov, she dropped massive amounts of black lace under-titty classiness on the red carpet. That’s a whole lot of look, but it’s Cannes! If you’re not delivering a whole lot of look, take your ass to the People’s Choice Awards. Although, since Emily is permanently suffering from a severe case of dehydration, she’d wear this to the People’s Choice Awards too.
It looks like some of the worst trends simultaneously caca’d all over Emily. Underboob? Check! Chichis window? Check! Nude illusion? Check!
On I Love Lucy, Lucy would sometimes wear this glamorous sheer housecoat thing over cigarette pants and it was a perfect vision of elegance, and Emily RideAJetSki’s look is like the NastyDress.com version of that. This is something Sophia Loren would’ve worn back in the day if she was tacky, on a budget and suffered from narcolepsy so she needed a fluffy duvet handy for quick naps.
And just when you thought that Emily RideAJetSki reached the pinnacle of elegance with this look, she faced the front and showed off a crotch seam that looks like a never-ending sparkly landing strip (see: first picture in the gallery and prepare to be hit by the classiness of it all).
Here’s more from the Nelyubov premiere and I also threw in pictures from today’s Okja premiere because I just couldn’t ignore Tilda Swinton looking like a glorious albino alien mother of the bride.
Pics: Backgrid, Wenn.com
Because not everyone is an Instagram-scrolling millennial, famous young couples have to let old people (everyone over 30) know they’re officially a thing by showing up together at a huge industry event. Boring twosome Selena Gomez and The Weeknd picked the beige (how fitting) carpet of famous people prom to debut their relationship. And they did it while looking like that always over-compensating couple at said prom. They’re really selling their relationship hard; I bet they spent most of the night testing everyone’s gag reflexes by hanging out in the lobby all night, cooing “I love you” to each other. According to E! News, they actually are that couple.
Everyone Saw This One Coming: The Organizers Of The Fyre Festival Have Been Hit With A $100 Million Lawsuit
When the brave survivors of the Lord of the Fyre Flies Festival got off the plane from the Bahamas in Florida, I’m sure they walked into a crowd of thirsty lawyers handing them business cards. Someone suing the tricks behind the Fyre Festival was as inevitable as a musical festival headlined by blink-182 and organized by Ja Rule turning out to be a massive diarrhea puddle of a mess. One Fyre ’17 survivor wasted no time in filing a lawsuit and he wants others to join him.