If you’re famous and single, there’s a scientific law that states you cannot be in the same place as another famous and single person without a rumor being started that the two of you are possibly dating. It’s compounded further when one or both parties are prone to publicity stunts and/or a love of drama. When UsWeekly found out that 30-year-old Drake threw Bella Hadid a 21st birthday party earlier this week in NYC, it was quickly followed with a story about Drake maybe dating Bella Hadid.
Every year, drama-filled fashionistas like to write about the meanie designers who make them wait around like the rest of us do any given day at the DMV. Because he is never to be outdone, Kanye West kind of took it to the max last year by making everyone pass out waiting for his collection to show on Roosevelt Island. This year, it was designer Alexander Wang’s turn. Page Six reports he hosted his show in a Brooklyn alley because, gurrrrl, have you seen what rent is like in Manhattan these days?!
The strange thing was that everyone wasn’t told to go home as soon as this feathery vision of dusty pink gluh-moore whipped his boa train on the carpet. Why even bother going on with the 2017 CFDA Awards when it was already shut down by an exquisite bejeweled pink ostrich? I’m sure that is a question that fashion professors will ponder with their students for years to come.
Model devourer and “Pussy Posse” elder statesman, Leonardo DiCaprio, attended the amfAR gala at Cannes on Thursday. Fellow guest and desolate-eyed model, Bella Hadid, was photographed speaking with him while having placed one hand on his shoulder. This is celebrity gossip, so that means they’re totally fucking.
The annual Cannes amfAR Gala for AIDS research was held last night, and it’s an event that truly brings out the best attempts in fashion. This is what Nicki Minaj looked like, and I love it all. The Morticia Addams hair paired with the un-dead boudoir eleganza from Roberto Cavalli and the ten pounds of diamonds makes her look like Vampira’s money-hungry hustler sister Scampira. Watch out, rich dudes – she’ll suck the life out of you and your bank account!
The brown-haired, dead-eyed wooden model named Bella Hadid is currently at Cannes. And the other brown-haired, dead-eyed wooden model named Emily RideAJetski is also at Cannes, and at yesterday’s premier of Nelyubov, she dropped massive amounts of black lace under-titty classiness on the red carpet. That’s a whole lot of look, but it’s Cannes! If you’re not delivering a whole lot of look, take your ass to the People’s Choice Awards. Although, since Emily is permanently suffering from a severe case of dehydration, she’d wear this to the People’s Choice Awards too.
It looks like some of the worst trends simultaneously caca’d all over Emily. Underboob? Check! Chichis window? Check! Nude illusion? Check!
On I Love Lucy, Lucy would sometimes wear this glamorous sheer housecoat thing over cigarette pants and it was a perfect vision of elegance, and Emily RideAJetSki’s look is like the NastyDress.com version of that. This is something Sophia Loren would’ve worn back in the day if she was tacky, on a budget and suffered from narcolepsy so she needed a fluffy duvet handy for quick naps.
And just when you thought that Emily RideAJetSki reached the pinnacle of elegance with this look, she faced the front and showed off a crotch seam that looks like a never-ending sparkly landing strip (see: first picture in the gallery and prepare to be hit by the classiness of it all).
Here’s more from the Nelyubov premiere and I also threw in pictures from today’s Okja premiere because I just couldn’t ignore Tilda Swinton looking like a glorious albino alien mother of the bride.
Pics: Backgrid, Wenn.com