Somehow, I don’t think things are so rosy in the Gisele Bundchen–Tom Brady household. For the second year in a row, Kendall Jenner tops the lists of money-making models. Someone better not tell Naomi Campbell, or her laser-eyed wrath will be all over the Kardashian Koven! For someone who is oh-so-selective with the jobs (minus this one) Kris Jenner forces upon her, she sure is making a ton of cash from it. Kendall tops the list with $22.5 million made. Gisele tumbled down to number 5!
Usually it’s Bella Hadid’s eyes that get the most attention for looking lifeless and fatigued. And while you could still make that argument (does Visine make an espresso-based eye drop?), people hated on her body by calling her “malnourished.” Bella will be walking in this year’s Victoria’s Secret fashion show, and Bella made it no secret that she didn’t appreciate the haters judging everything below her jawline.
Because many Instagram models regularly use enough lip fillers to make their mouths look like two water snakes, it’s easy to wonder whose mouth has been needle-enhanced. Bella Hadid, for example, has the type of mouth that might make one wonder how many CCs of dermal fillers have been pumped in her lips. You can keep wondering if you’d like, but according to Bella Hadid, you’re wasting your time because she has none.
If a recently de-Biebered Selena Gomez was thinking of shooting her ex The Weeknd any “Hey, you up?” texts, she might want to hold off. Because it would appear he’s getting busy with an ex of his own. According to Page Six, The Weeknd and Bella Hadid are both in Cannes at the moment, and apparently they’ve wasted no time in re-familiarizing themselves with each other’s mouths.
The Met Gala isn’t a human and isn’t even alive, and yet, that bitch is still getting more action than me.
The theme for the Met’s costume exhibit is Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and Catholic Imagination, but the dress code for the Gala was “Sunday best.” Now, my Sunday best is a faded black Dollywood t-shirt and some Fruit of the Loom sweat shorts covered with chicharron crumbs, wine splatters and lube drops from snacking, boozing and watching porn on my couch. But I guess “Sunday best” to famous rich hos is a crown that weighs more than their head and all of the fabric found in the “Perfect For Granny’s Living Room Curtains” section at Hobby Lobby.
With the likes of Kaia Gerber and Lily Rose-Depp coming for their “it” nepotism models of the fashion world crown, Bella and Gigi Hadid have to pull out some shit to stay on top. So they pulled off their chonies, decided their coochies needed to have a kiki and brought some high fashion “incest is best” shit to British Vogue. The Kartrashian-Jenners are probably going to try to top this. The silica gel packets they call their brains are probably melting from them trying to figure out the logistics of how 5 sisters can do a naked 69 pose. Thanks a lot, Bella and Gigi!