Sometimes it feels like the young and famous in showbusiness seem to date exclusively within a 5 mile ex-swapping radius. With that being said, it wasn’t much of a surprise when it was rumored The Weeknd had moved on from Selena Gomez to Yovanna Ventura, an ex of Selena’s current boyfriend Justin Bieber. But it looks like The Weeknd might also be nostalgic for his own ex, Bella Hadid. And there you have it, The Weeknd is the winner of his boring beef with Drake.
The difference between goddesses and us peasants is that when peasants like myself wake up with a giant purple ruffled wart on our shoulder, we go down to the free clinic with a list of our past fuck partners while trying to remember which one of them rubbed their dirty dick on our shoulder. But when goddesses wake up with a giant purple ruffed wart on their shoulder, they work it to the core at an event and bring the people to their knees.
Iman put the glamour in Glamour’s Women of the Year Awards in NYC last night when she slid along the red carpet in a Christian Siriano gown that made her look like that ultra glamorous Jurassic Park dinosaur if that ultra glamorous Jurassic Park dinosaur got a fairy godmother to turn them into a human goddess. Iman also looks like the most gorgeous venus fly trap that ever sprouted from the earth, and if they ever do that Little Shop of Horrors remake, she can play Audrey II. But instead of eating humans, she causes them to pass out from the power of her pose skills.
Here’s more from last night’s Women of the Year Awards. Nobody can touch Iman and her ruffled fortune cookie, but I am into Nicole Kidman’s tits beneath my wings dress.
Two weeks ago, Bella Hadid got some attention after a cringeworthy sneaker video she made went viral. Hidden under all the “homeboy can like, get itttt” jokes was the news that she might be dating Drake. Sources denied the rumor to UsWeekly, Bella’s mom Yolanda Hadid kind of denied it on WWHL. Two weeks later, and that rumor has been upgraded. Not only is Bella allegedly dating Drake, but it’s caused things to get very dramatic between him and fellow Toronto boy The Weeknd.
If you’re famous and single, there’s a scientific law that states you cannot be in the same place as another famous and single person without a rumor being started that the two of you are possibly dating. It’s compounded further when one or both parties are prone to publicity stunts and/or a love of drama. When UsWeekly found out that 30-year-old Drake threw Bella Hadid a 21st birthday party earlier this week in NYC, it was quickly followed with a story about Drake maybe dating Bella Hadid.
Every year, drama-filled fashionistas like to write about the meanie designers who make them wait around like the rest of us do any given day at the DMV. Because he is never to be outdone, Kanye West kind of took it to the max last year by making everyone pass out waiting for his collection to show on Roosevelt Island. This year, it was designer Alexander Wang’s turn. Page Six reports he hosted his show in a Brooklyn alley because, gurrrrl, have you seen what rent is like in Manhattan these days?!
The strange thing was that everyone wasn’t told to go home as soon as this feathery vision of dusty pink gluh-moore whipped his boa train on the carpet. Why even bother going on with the 2017 CFDA Awards when it was already shut down by an exquisite bejeweled pink ostrich? I’m sure that is a question that fashion professors will ponder with their students for years to come.