Sorry, singles looking to mingle with Brad Pitt, but it looks like he’s not quite ready to jump back into the dating pool just yet. “Thanks for the heads up!” said the lifeguard of the dating pool who will be assigned to cleaning the filter of self-tanner grease and beard hairs after Brad jumps in.
A source blabbed to People about Brad’s current life as a single guy. We already know that Brad is doing the sad artist thing right now. But don’t expect to see him cruising singles bars in a paint-splattered smock looking for his “muse.” The source says that Brad isn’t dating right now. Instead, he’s been doing the buddy thing. Brad has been having friends over a lot, and has been reconnecting with old friends. Oh boy, here come eleven hundred more “BRAD RECONNECTS WITH JEN!” headlines. The source adds that Brad seems “much happier” lately (well, agreeing with Angelina Jolie to stop fighting like Rikki-Tikki-Tavi and Nagaina will do that to you).
The source adds that along with art and spending more time with his kids, Brad is also working out every day and has lost a few pounds. Nice.
The sad news in all of this is that I guess this means Kate Hudson really isn’t dating Brad Pitt after all. Poor Kate Hudson. Even though she technically has a new man in her life, I’m sure she would have loved to have stretched that rumor out just a little longer. If you only get one measly totally untrue tabloid cover out of it, did it even not really ever happen?
It’s been four months since we’ve talked about Jennifer Lawrence and her current boyfriend, director Darren Aronofsky. Four months without an update is enough time in which some famous people could split up, hook up with someone new, get married, and file for divorce. But apparently that’s not what has happened here. They might have been laying low over the past few months, but they’re still together.
Miranda Kerr and billionaire CEO of Snapchat, Evan Spiegel, got engaged last July after dating since 2015. In the time that they’ve been together, Miranda’s vagine has never met Evan’s peen. Miranda, who has definitely fucked before (proof: the baby she made with Orlando Bloom), let the world know in an interview that she and Evan are doing it the Ciara and Russell Wilson way by waiting until marriage. Many of us are sluts around here, so that idea is completely lost on us. On a first date, we don’t even wait until the entrees are served. I know, look at me acting like our first dates happen at a restaurant instead of a motel that rents rooms by the hour. Continue reading
Back in April of 2016, Drake confessed during an interview with Apple Radio that his friendship with Nicki Minaj was a thing of the past. Drake had gotten into a stupid fight with Nicki’s then-boyfriend Meek Mill the year before. Nicki clearly chose sides, which meant pushing Jimmy’s wheelchair out of her life. Earlier this month Nicki decided she was done with Meek Mill. It also looks like she also decided to dump whatever hate she had for Drake.
When Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds had their first kid, they waited a loooooong time before revealing they named their daughter James. They didn’t really wait as long this time and they didn’t really bother to “announce” it. Poor second-born babies always get shafted in the attention department.
Ryan brought Blake and their two kids to his Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony last week. He didn’t refer to either of his daughters by name, but I’m assuming that at some point one of them must have referred to the baby one as more than just “the baby“, because UsWeekly says that they can confirm what Ryan and Blake named her. Their second daughter is named Ines Reynolds.
Ryan and Blake deserve a round of applause for managing to find one of the last remaining older lady names that hasn’t yet been appropriated by hipster parents in Brooklyn. “Ines Reynolds” sounds like an 88-year-old bookkeeper at a windows and doors company who still makes out checks on a Paymaster, drinks homemade Tia Maria, and refuses to smoke her Misty Lights anywhere but right in front of the door. Although knowing Blake, I doubt she picked Ines for that reason. It probably came about during her 8th month of pregnancy as she was fanning herself from the hot summer heat with her best Chantilly-lace fan on the lanai. “Goodness gracious, I never…that’s it! Inever! What a charmin’ name.”
Despite reports that Kim Kardashian has been going into power saver mode while attempting to read all the big words in her divorce papers, a source tells People that she “currently has no imminent plans to file for divorce” from Kanye West. But of course Kim isn’t quite ready to be done with Kanye West. There’s still at least five or six more months worth of material for the Kim Saves Kanye storyline that haven’t been
exploited explored yet.