The Grammys red carpet always looks like an intergalactic space orgy sprinkled with a bunch of random rappers who just rolled out of bed with barely enough time to grab their grill from the bedside table thrown in for good measure. Every year, it’s a mess. Plus you’ve always got legitimate superstars mixed in with a whole lot whosits and whateverhappenedtos. This year’s Grammy red carpet was no exception. I’m trying to sift through some of these looks, and honestly don’t know where to begin.
I’m curious, does anyone know if it’s possible to jump the shark on yourself? Somebody get The Fonz on the line for a little clarification on the matter, because I’m trying to figure out whether Bebe Rexha just killed her blink-and-you-missed-it singing career or cemented herself on a track t0 mini-pop star status when she ripped her audience new assholes without lube at a pre-Grammy event on Thursday night. It’s a 50/50 proposition, right? Continue reading
Since we’re almost balls deep into awards season, many ladies will be downing the laxative tea and sucking in their guts to put on designer gowns that a panel of frumpy folks will judge and critique the following day. That is unless their dress size comes in around a size 8 or so. Because according to Grammy nominated Bebe Rexha, many designers have pulled out their crosses and grabbed holy water to throw at her since a size 8 in the designer world is blasphemy. But Bebe isn’t just crying into a vat of ice cream over this discrimination, she’s speaking out for all the thick girls everywhere.
Bebe Rexha says that she had to shut down a married-with-kids pro football player when he hit on her via text. And she went public with the supposed receipts. Of course, she could have manufactured those receipts. This could be the pop attention whore version of the supposedly Netflix-created Bird Box memes. Who knows? And a more important question that you’re probably asking yourselves is – who’s Bebe Rexha? I don’t know, I just work here.
Do I need to write anything more? Simply seeing that Lindsay Lohan was present in attendance should be all the evidence you need that the MTV European Music Awards were a very high-end event. The MTV EMAs were held last night in Spain, and it’s got to be a big, important night if it’s able to drag Lindsay Lohan away from her various Greek beach clubs. But of course Lindsay was there. You can’t think of the word Europe without thinking of Lindsay Lohan. That’s because she’s tried on pretty much every accent found in Europe at one time or another. As for her dress, she looks like a Eurodisco groupie named Svetlana who can’t stay long, because she’s got to pick up her pet serval from DJ Lazer Anus (they share custody).
The American Music Awards doesn’t have the respectability of the Grammys or the pizazz of the MTV VMAs, but it’s got…well, it’s got a pointy award and people that show up, and that’s all you really need for a music award show. As such, guests still put in some effort for the red carpet. Post Malone’s hair is still a mess and he’s got those “Yes I’ve been slowly picking off my Shellac manicure” nails, but he also came through with a bedazzled belt buckle and nudie suit made by Union Western Clothing featuring his initials and several snakes. I guess he didn’t get the memo that Taylor Swift had the whole snake thing locked down last night. Oh well, it still pulled his whole look together. That is, if he was going for a look that tells people he’s a very successful businessman who sells snakes at an Alabama swap meet.