Looks like the people over at DC were inspired by their latest Batman, Ben Affleck, much more than anyone first thought. Not really by his performance of Batman itself, but by the performance of his dick somewhere else. Does art imitate life or life imitate art? Who knows.
Vice is reporting that in the first of a three-issue miniseries called Damned, our favorite extremely rich and broody super hero Batman, shows us his tool, and not one from around his belt, honey. That’s right: Batman shows dick, and we aren’t talking Grayson. The NSFW (Is comic book dick NSFW?) is after the cut, and like Batman, Batdick is moody as hell and lurks in the shadows.
The Superman suit isn’t the only spandex superhero costume that Warner Bros. might have to think about filling with a new actor. Rumors that Ben Affleck is done playing Batman have been circulating for over a year now, and Warner Bros. has never commented on that. If Warner Bros. is thinking of replacing Ben, Jon Hamm is up for it.
We all know by now that Ben Affleck’s once-shiny dreams of playing Batman have turned into a nightmare. Little by little by little, Ben’s unenthusiastic involvement with a standalone Batman film has shrunk to an awkward situation. Not even his brother can see Ben wrapping his bloated muscles in black rubber anymore. So it might be time to find a new Batman, and apparently the first name on the list of possible Affleck replacements is Jake Gyllenhaal.
An official decision regarding Ben’s future as Batman hasn’t been made, but according to Campea (via Screen Rant), The Batman director Matt Reeves wants it to be Jake. A source adds that Jake has taken a meeting with Matt Reeves not long ago.
This isn’t the first time Jake Gyllenhaal has been rumored to play Batman. More than a decade ago, Jake was reportedly considered by Christopher Nolan to play Batman in Batman Begins (the role of course went to Christian Bale). Jake was also rumored to replace Tobey Maguire in Spider-Man, which obviously never panned out. But it seems like he’s really interested in playing superheroes, so this might end up happening.
Screen Rant notes that if Jake does replace Ben, then this will possibly be another reboot of the franchise. That’s the only way they could explain that switch-up; because it sure as hell won’t look like it takes place in the same universe. I don’t know how they could possibly explain why Batman went from a grizzled 45-year-old dude who looks like he’s one soft chair away from a nap to a cute-faced 36-year-old whose favorite activity is cuddling and blushes if you compliment his hair.
Problematic Oscar-winner Casey Affleck claims that his big brother, Maine liquor store connoisseur Ben Affleck, will not be playing a probably hungover-looking Batman in a planned DC Comics Universe solo movie. He said this during a radio appearance yesterday, here in Affleck Land – Boston! I’m not sure why Casey didn’t let me know he was in town. He IS my enemy of old and we’re due for a rematch. I’ll explain in the last paragraph. Continue reading
Ben Affleck’s standalone Batman movie hasn’t even started shooting yet and it’s already turning into a bigger wreck than Batman & Robin (although, it’s one of my favorite thanks to Vivica A. Fox’s important cameo appearance as Ms. B. Haven). When The Batman was first announced, Warner Bros. said that Ben would be writing, directing and starring in it. But then Ben dropped out as director and Matt Reeves was brought in as his replacement. Now there’s a rumor that Ben doesn’t even want to star in it anymore and is done with playing Batman. “You’re late to the party, bitch, we were done with you playing Batman the day it was announced,” screamed millions of tricks to Ben.
Hmmm…it’s almost like Warner Bros. doesn’t want another massive flop on their hands. No. That’s definitely not why this is happening. It’s just that Ben Affleck cares so much about Batman and wants to make the best gosh-darn Batman movie he can make. And apparently that means letting someone else do the job.