“I have decided not to seek the Presidency of the United States in 2020” – Michael Avenatti
And with that, a hero takes a knee. Michael Avenatti posted a statement on Twitter today announcing that he will not be playing the role of Dancing Bear in the upcoming 2020 presidential circus. Michael cites his family as the reason he’s decided to forgo having the FBI look any closer into his background than they already have. And yes, he’s used the old “out of respect for my family” excuse which is the unelectable power hungry dude equivalent of a pop tart cancelling a concert due to “exhaustion”.
Judith Nathan Giuliani is about to quit a bitch. Said bitch, Trump attorney and all-around creeptastic golem Rudy Giuliani, is allegedly having an affair and Judy has filed for divorce. You may be screaming “why do politicians keep showing up my favorite profane celebrity gossip site? This never used to happen before!”. But you know why. The minute Trump decided to run for office, the number of porn stars, reality television personalities, and general ne’er-do-wells associated with the White House expanded exponentially. The White House can no longer contain all the bullshit, so it’s oozing out all over the place!
Everybody has that one friend who is always trying to do too much. They want to celebrate their birthday, but instead of just going for dinner and drinks they want to do some expensive ass, multiple day, out of town shit and if you say you can’t go you’re labeled a “bad friend”. Well, Gwyneth Paltrow is that friend times a million.