Category: Barnaby Joyce
Amber Heard Gets The Last Laugh
If you can shove aside the recent memories of Amber Heard on-and-off humping Elon Musk for a free Tesla, you’ll realize it wasn’t that long ago when she and ex-husband Johnny Depp got into hot water after they failed to declare their Yorkies, Pistol and Boo, when traveling Down Under in 2015. Australian Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce threatened to have the dogs put down, and, since the dogs were registered in Amber’s name, she was hit with charges. She eventually pled guilty and re-upped her SAG membership when she and Johnny put out a masterclass in acting in an apology video for pup smuggling. Barnaby said actors shouldn’t be get special treatment because of their high-profile. Laws are laws!
Or are they? Continue reading
This Dude Looks Like He Was “Inbred With A Tomato,” So Thinks Johnny Depp
I don’t exactly know how he can be “inbred with a tomato,” but I see it. That picture is giving me “Willy Wonka’s three-course meal gum malfunctioning during the tomato soup part.”
Barnaby Joyce, Australia’s agriculture minister turned deputy PM, has officially replaced soap as Johnny Depp’s number one enemy. The never-ending saga of the Yorkie smuggling case that rocked Australia and the world finally came to an end last month. Amber Heard pleaded guilty to falsifying quarantine documents, and after she and Johnny filmed a hilarious apology/hostage video, she got a slap on the wrist. That was that until Barnaby and Johnny decided to drag it out some more. Barnaby gave his own bitchy review of the apology video and Johnny also made fun of the video and the whole situation at a press conference. Well, on Jimmy Kimmel Live! on Monday, Johnny talked about one of his greatest artistic achievements (aka that apology/hostage video) and also said that Barnaby Joyce probably tastes delicious with a drizzling of balsamic and a slice of mozzarella.
Barnaby Joyce Finally Gives His Review Of Johnny Depp’s Tour De Force Performance In That Apology Video
Strangely enough, that animal friend (the one on the left) is doing a spot-on impersonation of Johnny Depp in that apology video.
Barnaby Joyce was Australia’s agriculture minister when Johnny Depp and Amber Heard became the country’s most wanted criminals by smuggling in their Yorkies. Barnaby Joyce threatened to snuff Boo and Pistol out if Johnny didn’t take their illegal asses back to California. Barnaby called Johnny a “two-time Sexiest Man Alive” when talking to the media. Barnaby is now Australia’s deputy prime minister and even though he switched positions, he’s still the country’s reigning secretary of messiness. I’m guessing he’s like Australia’s answer to Rob Ford sans all that crack-smoking stuff. Although, judging by that picture, it looks like he injects the bad shit directly into his eyeball veins.
But anyway, when Australia released that masterpiece video of the Bonnie and Clyde of the Yorkie smuggling game fake apologizing to the country as their pus-filled egos throbbed with pain, I waited and waited for Barnaby Joyce to open the library and read them. He finally did.