Category: Bankrupt

Revlon Has Filed For Chapter 11 Bankruptcy Protection

June 17, 2022 / Posted by:

This is bound to be a very sad day for anyone who grew up in a house where department store makeup was an expensive luxury reserved only for your distant well-off aunt. Because the Chanel of drugstore makeups, Revlon, just announced that they’re filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. That’s right, after 90 years, Revlon is being wheeled into the secure-lock wing of the home for aged cosmetics companies while they figure out how to move forward financially. But it’s not like they want to go off to that big pressed powder pan in the sky. It’s all Rihanna’s fault! And Kylie Jenner’s! And pretty much every other makeup company that has cornered the wallets of the youth.

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300 Pizza Huts Are Closing After One The Chain’s Largest Franchisees Went Bankrupt

August 19, 2020 / Posted by:

The above Miss Piggy photo was chosen to coat your corneas in glamour before I drop this devastating bomb: 300 Pizza Hut restaurants will permanently close after one of the chain’s biggest franchisees, NPC International, filed for bankruptcy last month. The specific restaurants and timing have not yet been determined, so this could affect any of us. To quote Joni Mitchell, “Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone?” 

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Chuck E. Cheese’s Might Be Closing For Good

June 11, 2020 / Posted by:

This is sad. It looks like Geoffrey the Giraffe might have some company in his unemployment support group for beloved corporate childhood mascots. Charles Entertainment Cheese, known informally as Chuck E. Cheese, is about to be evicted from his home of 43 years and unceremoniously dumped into the street. Which probably isn’t that bad, considering he is a rat, after all. People magazine is reporting that the iconic restaurant that bears his name, Chuck E. Cheese’s, is a mozzarella string away from declaring bankruptcy and shutting down all locations.

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Forever 21 Has Been Saved From Bankruptcy

February 20, 2020 / Posted by:


Last year, the Gods of haute couture wept, for their savior, Forever 21, filed for bankruptcy last year and closed a bunch of stores (and all the ones in Canada, R.I.P.). At the time, they claimed they weren’t going out of business, but would instead be focusing on smaller operations and “online shopping”. But today, like Buffy and Jesus before them, Forever 21 has risen from the dead! Continue reading

Gigi And Bella Hadid’s Dad Denied He’s Broke, He’s Just Too Broke To Tear Down The Shoddy Mansion He Built

December 2, 2019 / Posted by:

Don’t panic! If you were worried that Bella and Gigi Hadid would be spending this Christmas shivering on the corner of Hollywood and Vine while shaking a tin cup and begging passersby for loose change, you can relax. Previous reports that their daddy Mohamed Hadid is bankrupt have been misrepresented, according to TMZ. There will be presents under the tree and Yolanda’s refrigerator will not be bare save a half eaten can of poor people formula Alpo. Last week Mohamed did file bankruptcy papers, but they were for his construction company. Mohamed was ordered by a judge to tear down what he calls Starship Enterprise, a ridiculous mansion he’s been building in Bel Air since 2012 because it’s not up to code and presents a “clear and present danger” to the neighboring homes. It’s going to cost $5 million to tear it down, and like any multi-millionaire worth his salt, Mohamed would rather work the system by fling for bankruptcy than pay for it himself.

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