Holograms are best served on the back of elementary school trapper keepers and at CNN on election night – but nowhere else! Did “Whitney Houston”on The Voice teach us nothing?! Amy Winehouse may have passed away in 2011, but her father has tried to milk off her success ever since, which is why North Londoners have to face a statue that’s supposed to be Amy but really looks like Marge Simpson in a mini-dress on their way to work each day. Mitch Winehouse’s latest scheme is to embark “Amy” on a world tour by way of the same hologram technology used for late stars like Tupac and Roy Orbison. What could possibly go wrong?!
TruTV must have looked at that tone-deaf Handmaid’s Tale wine and said to Netflix, “Hold my beer.” There’s no bigger bitch in the world than Sallie Mae, the source of many a drained bank account and who would probably rob a Girl Scout cookie collection box if it meant I’d make my payment on time. For once. Oops. Anyway, because Americans owe upwards of $1.4 million in student loans (and I’m $1.2 trillion of that), someone thought it would be a good idea to come up with a game show where people could pay their loans off. Yeah, because that sounds fun to watch. Continue reading
Professional troll Kanye West has found an even more effective way to enrage black people (nay, all sane people) than saying slavery was a choice. According to Entertainment Weekly, Kanye’s disrespecting Whitney Houston by using an old tabloid picture of her drug-strewn mess of a bathroom taken without her knowledge as album cover art for Pusha T. If ghosts are real, Nippy’s coming for you and she’s bringing Nat Turner and Harriet Tubman with her to Fuck. Your. Shit. Up!
Because Megyn Kelly has reportedly been sinking Today’s ratings, she had to come up with something that’ll get her attention and hopefully pull her ratings out of the toilet, so she tried to embrace the idea of fat-shaming yesterday. It worked about as well as you would expect. Continue reading
Kim Kardashian’s second best non-family friend (her first goes by the name Doctor-something) Jonathan Cheban has managed to get his little side-project some attention. Last year, Jonathan tried to re-brand himself as more than just the guy who follows the Kardashians around. He called himself Food God (stylized as the much more insufferable foodgōd) and appointed himself as the deity of acting like a snob at restaurants. All of Jonathan’s social media handles are @foodgod, and he’s decided to commit even more to his douchey moniker.
It’s really, really time for Candy Finnigan of Intervention to gather all of Hollywood’s loved ones in the room of an economy hotel, and lead them in begging Hollywood to finally put down the crack pipe and get some help! Because they’ve gone too far when they start thinking about making Kristen Stewart a fucking Charlie’s Angel!