Because the second most popular life affirming mantra embroidered on lace trimmed pillows in basement lounge rooms is “It’s going to get worse before it gets better” (the first is “Live, Laugh, Love” obviously), the college admissions cheating scandal just got a little worse for the implicated parties. Felicity Huffman, Lori Loughlin, and their deep pocket buddies have been named in a $500 billion lawsuit by a mom and her son who say he was unfairly denied college admission due to these lying, cheating hos. Maybe they figured that if they win the $500 billion they can buy his way into college, too?
The 39th Annual Golden Raspberry Awards were just announced, and as is usual in most losing your virginity in high school scenarios, the Razzies continue to nail the best of the worst! This year was a real equal opportunity caller out-er of the bad shit on the silver (nickel plated?) screen, and no hair piece, Dame, politician’s wife or puppet was excluded from the Razzie spotlight of the worst for 2018.
HAHAHAHAHA!! Ok, now that that’s out of the way. I think when Venezuelan fitness model Michelle Lewin watched the Fyre Festival documentary she paid no attention to the lies, scandal and infamy surrounding that cautionary tale of fuckery. Her attention span decreased to zero after the scene where the models frolicked with the pigs and probably thought, “Ooooh, look at the little piggies! We must shoot there at once!” Flash forward to embarrassment and red pig bites on your ass and now she’s probably wishing for a do-over.
Millennials are a special blend of ‘whatever‘, ‘meh‘ and really bad decisions, or what I like to call being in your 20s. Everyone in their 20s does stupid shit and ex-lovers Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson are no different than your average run of the mill millennial apart from their fame. So when they do something stupid the world instantly points fingers and judges them accordingly. Everyone prepare your judgment fingers now because Pete has decided to cover up one of his Ariana dedicated tatts with the word CURSED.
Kids, let this be a lesson that whenever you decide to get a new tattoo, especially one with Japanese characters, please know what it says first. Because if not, you’ll end up like Ariana Grande who initially thought she was getting a tattoo on her palm to celebrate her new single “7 Rings” and ended up as a walking billboard for an outdoor appliance. Realizing she made a huge mistake, she immediately had the tattoo removed and started over from scratch. Actually, that’s what she should have done, but instead she added more characters to it and now the tattoo doesn’t make any damn sense at all.
Attention all tattoo artists, laser tattoo removalists and bookies in the Greater New York area, this post is a PSA expressly for you! Nicki Minaj‘s new boyfriend of a few minutes, registered sex offender Kenneth Perry, may be seeking your services within the year to either cover up or remove the gigantic tattoo of Nicki’s name he just had emblazoned across his neck. I’ve got my $50 on laser removal within the next eight months. Place your bets!