Good news for the set dressers and prop department people on Scandal today: you no longer have to worry about coming up with hilariously bad ways to hide Olivia Pope’s pregnants stomach. E! News says that Kerry Washington has given birth to her second child with her retired football-playing husband Nnamdi Asomugha.
Just like the first time she gave birth and the time she got married, Kerry kept the birth of her second baby a bit of a secret. Kerry and Nnamdi have a 2-year-old daughter Isabelle Amarachi. E! says they welcomed a son on October 5th. Kerry’s been very private about her personal life, so we probably won’t ever see Kerry posing with her new baby working a “I Love My Auntie Shonda” onesie in the pages of People.
The only other information E! knows about Kerry and Nnamdi’s new baby is that they named him Caleb Kelechi. I can already see the die-hard Kerry Washington/Tony Goldwyn secret relationship conspiracy theorists working overtime to prove the real paternity of Baby Caleb. “If you erase part of the G to make it a C, change the o to an a, reverse the lower-case d, and throw in some letters from Kerry’s first name…oh my god, Caleb! I knew it, it’s totally his.”
UsWeekly says that Adam Levine’s model wife Behati Prinsloo finally gave birth to their baby yesterday in California. UsWeekly doesn’t have many details. Like there’s no word on whether or not Baby Levine came out with a couple random tattoos that it got in the womb while it was waiting to be born (it does have its daddy’s DNA after all). Neither Adam nor Behati have confirmed they had a kid by Instagramming a picture of Baby Levine holding Behati’s finger or tweeting a shout-out to the baby wipe brand who dropped off the most cases of product. “Big ups 2 @Pampers for their mad poop-removal skills!”
To some, Alexa and Carlos PenaVega are known as “WHO?” and “WHO?” To others, they’re known as the little girl from Spy Kids and the dude from that Nickelodeon boy band who competed against each other on Dancing with the Has-Beens. But now, they should only be known as the messes who came up with a baby name that is filled with more WTF than the name that serial jacked-up baby name-giver Jamie Oliver gave to his latest child.
When Hugh Hefner’s former denture scrubber Holly Madison announced that she had finally given birth to her second baby, all I wanted to know was what she named him. He could have blasted out of her uterus screaming “Panama” by Van Halen, or cut his own umbilical cord by shooting lasers out of his tiny baby eyes, and I’d still only care about his name. Holly and her husband Pasquale Rotella named their three-year-old daughter Rainbow Aurora. I crossed my fingers for another name that sounded like a brand of holographic vinyl car wraps. Well, it’s not as bonkers as I was hoping for, but it’s pretty good.
Brian Austin Green has two reasons to celebrate today. Dude is a father for the fourth time, and Megan Fox’s womb is free for him to wet hump another ATM baby into during make-up sex after she threatens him with divorce again. David Silver has truly come along way.
Megan and BAG were planning to get a divorce last year, but they never stopped living together and eventually made another baby. The divorce is now off. E! News says that Megan birthed out their third baby last Thursday. Megan had another boy, and she and BAG did not disappoint when it came to naming him.
It feels like everyone has had a baby this summer. But especially people who were big in the early-to-mid 2000s. Nicky Hilton had a baby. Audrina Patridge had a baby. Norah Jones had a baby. And now we can add Liv Tyler’s name to that list. Yes, technically Empire Records and the music video for “Crazy” qualify her for A+ list status in every decade for the rest of time. But I’m adding her to that group above solely because I think we can all remember the years between 2001 and 2003 when everyone with a long brown wig dressed up as Arwen from Lord of the Rings for Halloween.
But back to that baby. 39-year-old Liv announced on Instagram yesterday that she had recently given birth to the baby put inside her by her fiancé, David Gardner.
Lula Rose is Liv’s third kid. She and David already have a 17-month-old son named Sailor Gene. Liv also has an 11-year-old son named Milo that she made with her ex-husband Royston Langdon.
Liv seems relatively normal for a famous person. But she was made when a groupie-model mated with Steven Tyler, which kind of explains those baby names. Milo, Sailor, and Lula all sound like people you meet backstage at an Aerosmith concert. Milo is the guy who makes sure Steven’s scarves are tied properly to his microphone stand and that he has enough calcium chews in his dressing room. Sailor is the roadie who tunes the guitars and takes quick 10-minute naps on the toilet. Lula is in charge of making sure the venue has provided everything on Steven’s diva dogs’ rider. “Beggin Strips? Steven’s dogs specifically asked for Snausages.”