“So I guess that means I’m the only one nervous about this?” said the baby growing inside Mel Gibson’s girlfriend’s body. Yes baby, it looks like you’re the only one.
The Hollywood premiere of Marvel’s
Doctor Whitewashing Doctor Strange happened last night, and Benedict Cumberbatch brought two guests: his wife Sophie Hunter and the latest CumberBaby that’s gestating in her womb right now.
Good news for the set dressers and prop department people on Scandal today: you no longer have to worry about coming up with hilariously bad ways to hide Olivia Pope’s pregnants stomach. E! News says that Kerry Washington has given birth to her second child with her retired football-playing husband Nnamdi Asomugha.
Just like the first time she gave birth and the time she got married, Kerry kept the birth of her second baby a bit of a secret. Kerry and Nnamdi have a 2-year-old daughter Isabelle Amarachi. E! says they welcomed a son on October 5th. Kerry’s been very private about her personal life, so we probably won’t ever see Kerry posing with her new baby working a “I Love My Auntie Shonda” onesie in the pages of People.
The only other information E! knows about Kerry and Nnamdi’s new baby is that they named him Caleb Kelechi. I can already see the die-hard Kerry Washington/Tony Goldwyn secret relationship conspiracy theorists working overtime to prove the real paternity of Baby Caleb. “If you erase part of the G to make it a C, change the o to an a, reverse the lower-case d, and throw in some letters from Kerry’s first name…oh my god, Caleb! I knew it, it’s totally his.”
People reports that subway seats for pregnant women activist Olivia Wilde gave birth to a daughter this past Tuesday. Daisy Josephine Sudekis is her second kid with her fiance, former Saturday Night Live dude Jason Sudekis. They also have a two-year-old son, named Otis Alexander. Daisy is a lovely little name for a girl. Most of all, it’s within the realm of sanity. This is show business. That child could have been cursed with Amish Pantha, Gorgeous Nebula, or Wilderness Aubergine. If celebrity gossip blogging on the weekends doesn’t work out, I could always start some sort of baby naming service for Hollywood hipster parents, huh?
David Arquette might give off the laid-back goofus vibe of a dude who always forgets to wear condoms and keeps knocking up randoms, like “Whoopsies! Looks like I’m someone’s pop again!“. But 45-year-old David only has two kids, and very soon he’ll have three. David announced on Instagram last night that his wife Christina Arquette is pregnant with their second child. David and Christina already have a 2-year-old son named Charlie West, and Charlie is getting a little brother.
David’s new baby will also have a half-sister; David’s 12-year-old daughter Coco, who we all probably know he made with Courteney Cox. It’s probably best that David didn’t announce his wife’s new baby in the current most-popular celebrity baby announcement way, because it would be wrong wrong wrong to let Charlie kiss a Clearblue test stick.
I can already feel Michael K’s soul cringing at David’s use of the term “over the moon” to describe how excited he is that his wife is knocked up again. But I’m more focused on the fact that this means David will now have two kids under the age of three. And it’s not like he can escape by going to work at his bar. No matter where he goes, he’ll be dealing with crying messes. Tears, tantrums, and barf around bedtime at home. Tears, tantrums, and barf around last call at the bar. At least the people throwing tantrums at his house will be cute.
Janet Jackson announced last April that she’s postponing her world tour, but since she’s that cousin who says, “Oh, I just gotta feed my dog real quick and I’ll be back,” and then never ever comes back to the family party, that tour is probably over. The Unbreakable tour is as much of a distant memory as Janet’s original nose is. Janet told her fans that she’s going away to start a family with her billionaire piece husband Wissam Al Mana. One month later, the rumor that a fetus moved into Janet’s womb popped up. One month after that, Tito Jackson said that his sister is very, very pregnant. Three months later, Janet was papped looking every layer of KNOCKED UP. And today, Janet confirmed that squatting inside of her uterus is a lucky child who will get to say the words, “Tia Toy Toy.”
Janet Jackson showing off her pregnancy glow at the age of 50! 😍 pic.twitter.com/GpdZkHNpDk
— Shady Music Facts (@TheFactsOfShade) October 12, 2016
Janet also gave an in-depth and highly detailed interview to People. You may want to take a nap, drink a bottle of Pedialyte and put a stack of protein bars next to you before you read the interview, because it’s extremely, extremely exhaustive. Presenting, Janet Jackson’s thorough interview with People:
“We thank God for our blessing,” says the star.
The TL;DR for the lazies is: JJ thks God 4 baby.
And if Janet and the photographer who took that picture were going for, “ad for Chico’s line of maternity eyeglasses,” then they nailed. No, I don’t know what maternity eyeglasses are either, but take that up with Janet and the photographer! They’re responsible for that pic!