Category: BABIES!!!

Pharrell Williams Is Going To Be A Daddy For The Second Time

September 23, 2016 / Posted by:

It’s Babies of The Voice week, apparently. It was reported yesterday that Adam Levine’s wife Behati Prinsloo popped one out on Wednesday, and last night, everyone found out that Pharrell Williams and his wife Helen Lasichanh are going to be parents again.

People says that 43-year-old Pharrell and 36-year-old Helen showed up to the Chanel fragrance event in L.A., and it was pretty obvious from her bulgy stomach situation that she’s pregnant again. Pharrell and Helen already have a 7-year-old son named Rocket Ayer Williams.

Pharrell told Oprah two years ago that they chose to name their son “Rocket” because it represents something meant to go up or ascend. They take baby naming very seriously. I can’t wait to hear what they name this next one. If they’re committed to that “things that go up” theme, then my suggestion is Drop Zone. Because who wouldn’t want to be named after the most dangerous theme park ride?

At the very least, I just hope that when Helen gives birth, one of the first things they do is call up Anne Geddes and do a newborn photoshoot featuring Baby No. 2 sleeping in Papa Pharrell’s favorite hat.

Here are a few more pictures of Pharrell and Helen at that Chanel party. I don’t know what look Pharrell was going for with that problem pattern shirt and straw hat. But if it was “sleepy-in-the-face Joey Jeremiah from Degrassi High“, I’d say he nailed it.

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Although I wouldn’t say he did it better. You can’t beat the original.

Pics: Splash, CBC

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Adam Levine Is A Daddy Now

September 22, 2016 / Posted by:

UsWeekly says that Adam Levine’s model wife Behati Prinsloo finally gave birth to their baby yesterday in California. UsWeekly doesn’t have many details. Like there’s no word on whether or not Baby Levine came out with a couple random tattoos that it got in the womb while it was waiting to be born (it does have its daddy’s DNA after all). Neither Adam nor Behati have confirmed they had a kid by Instagramming a picture of Baby Levine holding Behati’s finger or tweeting a shout-out to the baby wipe brand who dropped off the most cases of product. “Big ups 2 @Pampers for their mad poop-removal skills!

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Marion Cotillard Is Pregnant And Isn’t “Distressed” About The Brad Pitt Rumors

September 21, 2016 / Posted by:

I didn’t think she would, but Marion Cotillard has decided to drop a farté (that’s French for fart, right?) on the rumors that she boned Brad Pitt while shooting Allied and that she’s got a Pitt baby growing in her womb. Marion did confirm in an Instagram post that she’s knocked up, but said that the father of her second baby is her piece of 9 years Guillaume Canet. The Daily Mail said that Marion was “distressed” about the rumor, but she says she really doesn’t give one fuck and left a special note for the “haters.” Yes, today I learned that Oscar-winner Marion Cotillard uses the word “haters” and is serious when she uses it.

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Mad Mel’s Going To Be Somebody’s Father For The 9th Time

September 16, 2016 / Posted by:

Catholic Mel Gibson once again summoned side-eyes from strict Catholic abuelitas everywhere by making a baby with a woman he isn’t married to. 60-year-old Mad Mel’s angry grizzly man jizz knocked up his 26-year-old equestrian vaulter/aspiring screenwriter girlfriend of 2 years Rosalind Ross. Rosalind will pop out the latest member of Mad Mel’s child army early next year. Mel’s rep confirmed the news to People. All of the 60-something people I know or have known want to spend their days burping themselves after their 6th beer and they don’t want to spend their days burping a baby. But a source tells People that Mad Mel can’t wait for his new baby to show up.

“Mel and Rose are so excited about the baby. Mel loves being a dad and he and Rose can’t wait to be parents together. The last two years have been some of his happiest years he’s ever had.”

Mad Mel has 7 kids with his ex-wife Robyn Moore, and as everyone knows, he has an almost-7-year-old daughter with Oksana Grigorieva. Mel’s oldest is 36. His knocked-up piece is younger than 5 of his 8 kids.

And before every family court judge in Los Angeles left for the weekend, they got together and took bets as to how long before Rosalind and Mad Mel are in one their court rooms fighting over child support money. They all probably bet around 6 months, but they’re hoping the answer is never, because they really don’t want to hear another recording of Mel scream-whining about how Rosalind needs to blow him as he pours gasoline on the floor.

Pic: Wenn.com

Hilaria Baldwin Birthed Out Her And Alec Baldwin’s Third Baby Together

September 13, 2016 / Posted by:

In my mind, that’s Hilaria Baldwin’s birthin’ pose and as she does it, Alec Baldwin stands on the other side of the delivery room waiting to catch their latest bundle of baby. Also in my mind, those two pooches are bracing themselves for a possible double yoga fart-queef attack.

58-year-old Alec Baldwin became somebody’s father for the fourth time yesterday. People says that in NYC last night, Alec’s second wife, 32-year-old Hilaria Baldwin, gave birth to a baby boy who I’m sure is already doing the one-handed tree pose in a crib.

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DMX’s Dick Is Trying To Outdo Jim Bob And Michelle Duggar

August 23, 2016 / Posted by:

Warning: Do not stare at that picture too long. DMX is so damn fertile that if you keep your eyes on that pic long enough, you may find yourself squirting out the latest member of his ever-growing child army, and no, you won’t get a child support check out of it

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar have 19 kids and that might be it for them. But it looks like DMX’s weapon of mass procreation isn’t done shooting raw nuts at ovaries just yet and he may beat Jim Bob and Michelle’s record. 45-year-old DMX became somebody’s father for the 15th time (that he knows of) last Friday after his girlfriend Desiree Lindstrom gave birth to her first child and his latest in NYC. TMZ says that DMX and Desiree named their son Exodus Simmons (or as DMX is going to call him, “Um, which one are you again?“).

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