Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the What Allegations? 2018 Redemption Tour! Upcoming dates TBA, but we do know that the tour has begun and more performers have been added to the lineup. Louis C.K. kicked things off on Sunday night with a surprise visit to the Comedy Cellar in NYC, where he received a standing ovation. Rumored to be next up are Matt Lauer and Aziz Ansari.
It’s been awhile since we heard the faintest peep regarding serial masturbating menace Louis C.K., and it almost seemed like he was about to disappear into the annals of #MeToo history. His only real recent defender was Dave Chappelle, which was a real grain-of-salt endorsement, considering his iffy thoughts about Bill Cosby. At the time of the allegations (and subsequent confirmation), Louis’ old pal Sarah Silverman admitted she was “very angry” but also asked: “Can you love someone who did bad things?” Sarah recently spoke to GQ about her friend Louis, and it would appear she’s found the answer to her question.
A day after James Franco was accused of being a major creep by a handful of women, he skipped the Critics’ Choice Awards. It seems as though James decided that enough dust had settled on his bad press, and he ventured back out into the world last night for the SAG Awards. Aziz Ansari has also recently been accused of perceived creep behavior. That accusation must have still been a bit too fresh, because just like James on Critics’ Choice Award night, Aziz decided to bail on the SAG Awards.
Today In Flaming Messes: The Writer Of The Aziz Ansari Story Is Beefing With Ashleigh Banfield Of HLN
Over the weekend, a site called Babe.net (which, contrary to my first guess, isn’t a soft-core porn site devoted to pigs from Australia) posted a piece from a writer named Katie Way about a young woman, going by the name Grace, who went on a shitty date with 34-year-old Aziz Ansari. The date ended with her using a Chore Boy to scrub the thick layer of ICK off of her. Grace, who was 22 at the time, said that Aziz pressured her into having sex even though she let him know with her words and body language that she didn’t want to go there. Allison covered the entire story if you missed it.
Grace’s story brought out many different opinions, of course. Some praised Grace for telling her story since they felt men need to take a crash course at The Learning Annex on How To Fucking Get A Clue. Some felt that Babe.net was shamelessly trying to get clicks by naming Aziz Ansari in a piece that was basically revenge porn. Others felt it was wrong of Babe.net to inject a story about a bad date into the same vein as the #MeToo movement. HLN host Ashleigh Banfield is with the second and third group and she shared her thoughts on her show Crime & Justice.
A producer from Crime & Justice e-mailed Katie Way to invite her to come onto the show. Katie didn’t give a simple “no.” She gave a “no” and followed it with a mega junior high school dragging that I’m surprised didn’t end with her saying, “Oh, and that Ashleigh bitch has totally got split ends. Gross!” Katie made it clear that she will never share screen time with that bad highlights-having, burgundy lipstick-wearing nobody old hag! I know, what did burgundy lipstick do to anybody…besides make them look like a chola vampire (which is always a good thing, by the way)?
If I had to guess what a bad date with Aziz Ansari might be like, I would have pictured him showing up at a restaurant with his Emmy and his Golden Globe and smugly announcing “How about we make this a double date with two of my closest friends,” before sexy winking to the hostess. An anonymous woman recently came forward on the internet, and according to her, her date with Aziz Ansari was much worse than that.
Answer: Diddy gives a fuck, like a lot of fucks.
red beige and blue carpet posing portion of last night’s Met Gala, Diddy worked the cameras with his on-and-off-and-on-and-off-and-on-again piece Cassie, and at one point he lounged on the steps like a man casually lounging on a display at Forever 21 while his girlfriend gets in a long line to try on a pair of jeans. That little smooth move brought out a dozen “Diddy Don’t Give A Fuck” headlines. Au contraire, bitch. Diddy does give a fuck and that shameless spotlight-shifting whore knew what he was doing.
Cassie stood there in a field of humongous ass sea urchins, working for those camera clicks, as Diddly easily got the cameras to move his way by casually strolling to the stairs for a little lounging time. Cassie’s dress is covered with giant plastic caterpillars (or are those giant Groucho Marx brows?) and Diddy gets all the attention by simply lounging like an evil vampire lounging on a velvet settee while eyeing his prey from across the room. Diddy wants us to think he’s saying, “Oh, this moment is all about her,” but we all know he’s saying, “Oh, this moment is all about moi.”
With that being said, I’d probably do the same thing, because standing is hard. And also, that dramatic lying down pose really does show off Diddy’s “Steven Seagal spending a casual afternoon at home” outfit.
And now we end our never-ending Mess Gala 2017 coverage with several dollops of hotness provided by the dudes of the night including ASkars, Riz Ahmed, Rami Malek and Luke Evans.
Pics: Wenn.com, Getty