The last time we took a walk around the block on Jump Street, Sony was planning to make a third installment of the 21 Jump Street franchise (23 Jump Street, duh) a crossover event with Men In Black. But according to Collider, that may not be happening because production has already begun on MIB starring Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson, and I guess Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum weren’t invited. That left the 23 Jump Street slot open for Sony to move forward with a female-led version. Now Collider reports that Tiffany Haddish and Awkwafina are both in talks to co-star in what they’ll probably call 23 Boob Street.
But are you surprised? The word “rich” is right there in the title!
Constance Wu showed up to the Crazy Rich Asians premiere in L.A. in a Ralph & Russo gown that looks like the sort of fancy throw pillow I would be warned ten times not to touch while visiting a fancy relative’s house. Although that’s not to say Constance is too bougie for the rest of us; those sequins are giving fancy silver SpaghettiOs realness. And what says “of the people” more than 99-cent canned pasta? Even if they do sort of look like the canned pasta rich people might eat when Jeeves leaves on vacation and they’re forced to use the can opener.
The vaginas are coming! The vaginas are coming! The trailer for the long awaited (ok, sustained indifferenced) Ocean’s 8 is here and it’s got more vaginas than a Amazonian gynecology conference! As expected, it stars Sandra Bullock as the titular Ocean (1) and includes Cate Blanchett as some kind of badass (2), Mindy Kaling as some kind of jeweler (3), Rihanna as some kind of hacker (4), Helena Bonham Carter as Helena Bonham Carter (5), Sarah Paulson as a suburban mom with a criminal past (6), Awkwafina as a street grifter (don’t ask me I have no idea who she is either, 7) and that’s only 7 so what the fuck? Yes, Anne Hathaway is in it but she appears to be the target so I’m confused.
“Just text an offer to every actress, singer, comedian, rapper, etc. out there and the first 8 to hit us back with a thumbs-up emoji, gets a role” is probably what the producers and director of Ocean’s 8 said while casting. Because they put together a motley crew of HUH? that includes Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, RiRi, TEEFS, Helena Bonham Carter, Mindy Kaling and a rapper/actress who goes by Awkwafina (born name: Nora Lum). Yes, Awkwafina is a name that somebody chose to go by. Phoebe Price isn’t in it, but I slipped her portrait in, because I felt like that line-up needed some real A-list star power, charisma and ginger glamour. Like the producers can afford her day rate!