Category: Avengers
The End (game) Is Near: Some Of The Millions Of Looks From The “Avengers: Endgame” Premiere
God bless ya if you’ve been able to keep up with all the fucking Avengers running around here these days. Just looking at the poster for the upcoming Avengers: Endgame movie takes so much concentration. I keep thinking I’m supposed to eventually see a sailboat or some shit. It’s a mess, and it gives me a throbbing, Thanos’ dick-sized migraine. But the poster isn’t nearly as much of a mess as the red carpet for last night’s premiere of Avengers: Endgame: Too Many Spidermen. Not only was every Groot, Korg and Kraglin Obfonteri from the movies there, all the Marvel universe TV characters were there too. It must have been the least exclusive guest list to hit Hollywood since the premiere of Gotti. I mean, they even let Colin Jost in!
A Collider Writer Says One Of The Male Avengers Was A Complete Asshole To Him
Being a part of the world’s biggest movie franchise can cause one to become irritable with the lessers. An example of this comes to us from Collider reporter Stephen Weintraub on Twitter. Most of you own a TV in addition to basic cable so you know that Avengers: Infinity War comes out on Friday because the ad runs 500 damn times a day and it’s made even THIS hardcore comic book geek sick of their cinematic universe. Apparently one of the cast members is feeling that way, too. Stephen interviewed some of the cast members and left wishing that one of them would eat something featuring romaine lettuce in a Yuma, Arizona-located restaurant. Continue reading
Black Widow Is Finally Getting Her Own Movie
Almost every one of The Avengers that matters (sorry Hawkeye) has gotten their own stand-alone film, sometimes multiples. How many Iron Mans are we up to now? 13? Captain America got one, so did Thor, but not Black Widow.
The “Avengers: Infinity War” Trailer Is Here To Confuse Old People
The trailer for the upcoming Avengers: Infinity War is out and I’m confused. I’m not a comic book person but I am an American so I feel contractually obligated to see some of these Marvel movies. And I do! I saw the Captain America one where Cap had a tiny golem body for a minute, I’ve seen at least two Iron Mans, I saw one where everyone was all “look at how cute Spiderman’s butt is” and one where they didn’t say that. I saw the weird beard Asian wizard one and I think I’ve seen the first two Avengers movies but honestly I can’t be sure. I can no longer keep track! There are too many GD avengers!
I think the first line says it all. “There was an idea”. And then there was another one. And another one after that. And Another one soon followed. Pretty soon you have all these ideas pinging around, confusing old people like me who just want to live their lives in relative peace but keep going to see these movies so that the world doesn’t pass us by. I don’t want to turn into my mom who used to be baffled each time a new season of Survivor started and scream, “Who the fuck are all these people!?”.
But, that ship has sailed and so I ask, who the fuck are all these people? Who is the guy with the glowy forehead thing? Is this a A Beautiful Mind crossover? Who is the pink giant that looks like an enormous stubbed toe? Which Olsen twin is that? Why are the bugs from Starship Troopers in there? Lord, I’m going to have to accept that I can no longer keep up and resign myself to being old and out of touch. Advantage: Avengers.
Pic: YouTube
Robert Downey Jr. Wants To Stop Playing Iron Man Before It Gets “Embarrassing”
Robert Downey Jr. has been playing Tony Stark/Iron Man since 2008, and has played him in eight movies including Spider-Man: Homecoming. He’ll also appear in two more Avengers movies. I’m sure some people can’t hear the word iron without picturing his face. But it might not always be like that.
What Did An Avenger Say That Pissed People Off Today?
Seen above happily releasing a fart into the face of a 2-starred candy striper who knows what’s coming and doesn’t like (Side note: I know, I showed my nerd ignorance by not knowing who she’s dressed as. Or maybe I’m right and 2-Starred Candy Striper Girl is an actual superhero.), Robert Downey Jr. is the latest Avenger to spit out some outrage fuel into the gas tank of the Internet.
On the same day that RDJ hit the nope switch and quit an interview after he was asked questions about politics and his drug days, The Guardian asked him for his thoughts on what Birdman director Alejandro González Iñárritu said about big-budget superhero movies full of explosions and more explosions. Alejandro said that big-budget superhero movies “have been poison, this cultural genocide, because the audience is so overexposed to plot and explosions and shit that doesn’t mean nothing about the experience of being human.” RDJ didn’t side-eye Alejandro for using the phrase “cultural genocide” to describe stupid superhero movies, but he did condescendingly slow clap over Alejandro, whose first language is Spanish, being able come up with such big English words on his own.
“Look, I respect the heck out of him, and I think for a man whose native tongue is Spanish to be able to put together a phrase like ‘cultural genocide’ just speaks to how bright he is.”
If you need to see those words come out of RDJ’s smug slit, skip to the 0:27 mark below:
This may blow RDJ’s mind, but English is my first language (“Could’ve fooled me, you illiterate bitch!” – you) and I can say “cultural genocide” in Spanish, French and Italian since it’s not that goddamn different.
Or maybe RDJ is side-eying Alejandro, who is Mexican, for casually using the phrase “cultural genocide” when Spanish explorers committed actual genocide hundreds of years ago. I don’t know! But I do know that these Avenger bitches are going all out during this press tour. Jeremy Renner and Chris Evans pissed people off by jokingly calling Black Widow a slut and a whore. During a taping of Graham Norton (which airs this weekend), Elizabeth Olsen apparently compared her character to a “gypsy” and when Graham told her that word is a slur, Mark Ruffalo started chanting “gypsy” over and over again to get it out of his system. And now this. It’s as if right before the press tour started, the head of publicity said to their staff, “This movie is going to shit money into our mouths no matter what we do, so let’s just let those messes go out on their own and say whatever they want. Let’s commit liver genocide by boozing it up in the Caribbean, you slut whores!”
Here’s RDJ, Chris Evans, Jeremy Renner and Mark Ruffalo on Good Morning America today.
Pics: Splash