File this under: Information Your Brain Really Needed Today.
Kelly Osbourne marched in NYC’s Pride Parade yesterday and sometime during the afternoon, she had a Detrol commercial moment and had to go, had to go, had to go right then. So Kelly went into a Starbucks to piss and she says the rude ass employees wouldn’t let her use their toilet, so she had no choice but to make like she was Ray J and her shoes were Kim Kartrashian’s ass. She busted a golden showers show and got piss in her shoes.
Sure, you might be thinking that Kelly could’ve just bought a fucking cookie to use the bathroom, but then she wouldn’t have pissed on herself and gotten attention for it by tweeting. And even if she did buy a fucking cookie, she still wouldn’t be able to use the bathroom since that Starbucks doesn’t have one!
Here I was thinking that Pimp Mama Kris was the komedian of the koven (see: PMK saying that everyone can relate to at least one member of her stable of fame whores), but Caitlyn Jenner proved that she’s got fresher and edgier jokes!
“Michael, for why did you post another picture of the papier mâché puppet who plays Michael Jackson in that TV movie the world doesn’t need?” – you
Earlier this week, Donald Trump said that his inauguration will have plenty “of movie and entertainment stars,” and he wasn’t telling lies. So far his inauguration’s got the runner-up of America’s Got Talent 5, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and The Rockettes. (Although, there’s a slight chance every Rockette will boycott, so Trump might have to get the next best thing: Tiffany Trump rigged up to a bunch of dancing dummies.) And now UsWeekly is saying that fellow A-list reality superstar Caitlyn Jenner will be at his inauguration on January 20th. Caitlyn better make a stop over in NYC so she can get an outfit at Lucy and Ethel’s Dress Shop, because I hear that all of the “dress shops” in DC are fresh out of gowns.