It’s entirely appropriate that Stephen Belafonte is making an L with his hand, because apparently he’s no stranger to acting like a huge loser. Two weeks ago, Melanie B filed for divorce from Stephen after ten years of marriage. We all know their marriage was rumored to be a mess, but now we sort of know just how much of a dumpster fire it really was.
Chris Brown admitted recently that if you date him and break up with him, it won’t take long before you feel like Rockwell in the Somebody’s Watching Me video. Chris Brown will stalk you. Nothing will stop Chris from his relentless pursuit to be the worst ex-boyfriend in the world. Not even legal documents telling him to stay away. The New York Daily News says that Chris Brown refuses to accept the restraining order that was granted to his ex Karrueche Tran last month.
Chris Brown recently let people know he’s an obsessive type of boyfriend who will stalk and harass the women he dates. He also made it clear that once you get with Chris Brown, he will never leave you alone. So none of the following should come as a surprise. TMZ says that Karrueche Tran, who hasn’t been with Chris Brown for almost two years, was granted a restraining order after he allegedly threatened to kill her. For those keeping score at home, this would be the second time a woman has gotten a restraining order against Chris Brown for that reason.
Earlier we found out that police in Cleveland are investigating Justin Bieber for allegedly delivering a concussion-causing beatdown back in June. And now TMZ is saying that he’s currently being investigated for allegedly headbutting someone at a restaurant last weekend. It’s like he’s on a mission to disprove the stereotype that Canadians are a polite, peace-loving people.
Bieber’s latest alleged assault antics happened at around 2am last Saturday in West Hollywood. While at a pre-Grammys party that was hosted by his friend Poo Bear, Bieber was play fighting with Kyle Massey. Poo Bear? Corey from That’s So Raven? You know you’re not exactly hanging with a hard crew when it sounds like it was assembled by Mickey Mouse. Anyway, Bieber noticed that someone from the restaurant staff was recording their play fight. And we all know he doesn’t like that. A pissed-off Bieber demanded he delete the video, and that in turn caused more people to hit record on their cameras. Justin allegedly then lunged at one of the people and headbutted them.
On the bright side, Justin Bieber doesn’t have a brain, so I doubt he caused that much damage. Getting hit with something hollow tends not to hurt as much.
The police were called after the incident, but Bieber was gone by the time they arrived. The alleged victim doesn’t want to press charges, but the police are still investigating.
Justin Bieber has just about covered all his assault bases. He’s used his arms for throwing (both punches and eggs), his mouth for spitting (both words and actual spit), and now he’s headbutting people. He’s like a one-man Street Fighter game. The next thing you know he’ll be firing a surge of shitty energy out of his hands. Ha-douche-en!
There used to be a time when Chris Brown attempted to hide his asshole tendencies. But putting in that much work on such a futile job has clearly gotten to be just too exhausting, and Chris Brown is just like “Fuck it, this is me.”
Chris recorded a Instagram video in which he brags about stalking and harassing the women he dates. Just like many of Chris Brown’s cracked out confessional videos, he deleted this one. But The Shade Room grabbed it before it was gone. Just hearing the words “Hello, I’m Chris Brown” should be enough for any woman to spin 180-degrees and run away, but he’s given women another reason for why they should never date him.
“Ladies, y’all be complaining about n—as being, like, stalkers and in love with y’all, kinda crazy and shit and you get tired of it. Well, guess what? I’m one of them n—as! If I love you, bitch, ain’t nobody gonna have you. I’m gonna make you miserable. I’m going to chase that n—a out, and I’m gonna chase yo ass around, and it’s done.”
Bragging about stalking and harassing your girlfriends? Chris Brown, you don’t have to try so hard. Michael Rapaport already loves you.
Chris Brown’s nickname, Breezy, makes a lot more sense now. I’m guessing he got it after dozens of women he’s tried to get with have heard a rustling noise in the bushes outside their window and thought “It’s probably just the breeze.”
Charlie Sheen has a direct-to-TV movie coming out soon called Mad Families, which I’ve learned isn’t a documentary about the people who receive his child support checks. It’s appropriate that Charlie is promoting a movie with the word “mad” in the title, because Charlie is still very mad at Rihanna for that time she wouldn’t wave him and his ex-fiancée Brett Rossi over to her table at a restaurant. He also had something to say about Jenny McCarthy, Selma Blair, and Jennifer Grey. You leave Baby out of this, Charlie!