The Grammys red carpet always looks like an intergalactic space orgy sprinkled with a bunch of random rappers who just rolled out of bed with barely enough time to grab their grill from the bedside table thrown in for good measure. Every year, it’s a mess. Plus you’ve always got legitimate superstars mixed in with a whole lot whosits and whateverhappenedtos. This year’s Grammy red carpet was no exception. I’m trying to sift through some of these looks, and honestly don’t know where to begin.
Kendall Jenner has been caught up in another tipping scandal. Back in 2014, she was accused of throwing money in a waitress’s face. This time, a Brooklyn bar has publicly accused Kendall of failing to leave a tip on a $24 bar tab. According to Eater:
Williamsburg bar Baby’s All Right has blasted model Kendall Jenner on Instagram, posting a receipt that shows the Kardashian spawn allegedly left no tip on her $24 bill.
Kendall #tooktotwitter (it’s been a minute, right? Feels good, but somehow still not trending) to defend her honor (can you do that if you’re already in the hole for a million honor points?) claiming to have tipped in cash.
damn, i guess next time we won't tip in cash https://t.co/iZ4tFt3pg7
— Kendall (@KendallJenner) August 8, 2017
The bar has already deleted the original post, but as we know, there are no take backs on social media. I honestly don’t know which is worse: A Brooklyn bar that attracts the likes of Kendall Jenner, or Kendall Jenner.
I don’t want to be within 100 feet of either. Eater reports that Kendall was at Baby’s All Right (which serves Korean fusion and has a bottomless brunch *hard eye roll*) because her maybe boyfriend A$AP Rocky was performing a record release party there later in the evening. Seems like a real petty thing for the bar to do, given the piddly amount of the tab. Whomever posted that is either a colossal asshole, or more likely, the bar was looking for a quick hit of that sweet, sweet Kardashian publicity. But as the saying goes; lay with dogs, wake up with fleas. Kendall has got fleas, ticks, mange and bed bugs and Baby’s All Right will likely have to fumigate.
For those of you looking at the potato quality picture above and thinking: “For why is some random dude singing to Selena Gomez and two of the three fairies from Sleeping Beauty in a fancy-ass bar?“, well, you got the Selena Gomez part right, but you missed the spoiled Timbit sitting next to her. Don’t beat yourself up over it; Justin Bieber totally blends into the background when he’s not throwing chairs around.
As you can see from the picture above, dickmatization’s former poster children Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber got together, and no, it wasn’t because Selena found a bunch of footy pajamas at her house and decided to return them to their rightful owner. Justin and Selena were caught hanging out at a hotel bar in Beverly Hills last night. And if that wasn’t enough to make you roll your eyes and reach for your “She don’t love herself” GIFs, then there’s also this little nugget of NO: Justin grabbed a mic and busted out a middle school talent show-sounding version “My Girl” to her. Which looked and sounded a little something like this.
No word on how many people in the bar were rushed to the hospital and treated for cringe-uries caused by second-hand embarrassment, but I’m going to assume the answer is: all of them. Neither Justin nor Selena has commented on whether or not they’re humping on each other again, so who even knows how permanent this shit is.
But he didn’t end the night with Selena, because apparently “My Girl” was short for “My Girl…Until Someone Hotter Comes Along“. Shortly after he made Thomas J. roll over in his grave, Justin Bieber hit up a club with Kylie Jenner. Which…also didn’t last very long, since Kylie left the club with Iggy Azalea’s former piece, ASAP Rocky. Yes, Kim Jr. has been single for all of 0.03 seconds, and already she might have a new man. A man who is a whole year older than Tyga. That sound you just heard was Kris Jenner cackling with glee into her morning bowl of spiders.