TMZ says that Nick Gordon – the poster boy for a bad time – was arrested again yesterday in Florida. Nick was arrested for violating the no contact order that was put in place after getting arrested for domestic violence last week. Nick had called the police after a fight with his girlfriend Laura Leal at his home. He was then arrested for allegedly getting violent with her. So Nick was ordered to stay away from Laura. Well, he didn’t.
And Heather’s got another broke down, tragic mug shot to add to her collection. And this one screams “hungover me waking up having to piss 45 minutes before my alarm goes off and trying to decide whether I should get up or just stay in bed”
The last time I wrote about Heather Locklear, she was laid up in the hospital after driving her Porsche into a ditch in Thousand Oaks, CA. That was last year. Well, Heather Locklear may have gotten out of that ditch, but it looks like her personal life stayed there, because shit is still a mess. TMZ says that 56-year-old Heather was busted by the cops at her home in Thousand Oaks for allegedly beating up her boyfriend. And if that wasn’t already a 9-layer shit cake of tragicness, Heather added another layer by allegedly attacking a cop. Sammy Jo Carrington getting arrested for domestic abuse and battery on a cop gets 5 out of 5 “Oh, Sammy Jo, you wreck” from Aunt Krystle.
Here I was thinking that the most random headline of the holiday season would be a drunken Ex-Countess Luann threatening to kill cops, and then this story about Lainie Kazan getting caught stealing from a grocery store came along…
TMZ says that on Christmas Eve, 77-year-old Lainie Kazan (who is best known for playing Toula’s mom in the My Big Fat Greek Wedding movies, but is best known to me for playing Andrea Zuckerman’s grandma on Beverly Hills, 90210) was handcuffed by the cops and taken down to the station on a petty theft charge. Sources tell TMZ that Lainie left a Gelson’s in the San Fernando Valley somewhere on Sunday at 4pm with a cart full of groceries she didn’t pay for. Lainie supposedly filled reusable bags with $180 worth of food, and while wheeling her loot out to her car, she was stopped by an employee and the cops were called. Lainie allegedly said that she didn’t pay for the groceries because she had no money on her.
She was cited and released without bail. Her rep hasn’t said anything about this so far.
Lainie Kazan being either too broke to buy groceries or too confused to know she has to pay for groceries brings the sad. But I am wondering how Lainie managed to fill bags (as in plural) with just $180 worth of groceries from Gelson’s. Because I’ve been to Gelson’s a few times, and $180 worth of groceries from there is like two bags of generic brand potato chips and a four pack of Sutter Home minis wines. And the person who should’ve really been arrested is the Gelson’s employee who stopped Lainie. I mean, anyone who was in the original 90210 should get free groceries for life! Well, everyone except for those backstabbing skank whores Dylan and Kelly. Team Brenda 4 EVA!
Hannibal Buress made some bad memories in Miami, Florida this weekend. I should be more specific, since I’m pretty sure “bad memories” is the state’s motto. TMZ says that Hannibal was arrested early Sunday morning for “disorderly intoxication,” an arrest that involved a pissed-off Hannibal getting pushed into a police car. Don’t let that “2 blessed 2 b stressed” face he’s serving in his mugshot fool you; Hannibal most certainly wasn’t thrilled to be getting arrested.
The glamorous feline rose of New York City Jocelyn Wildenstein and her gaydar-breaking boyfriend Lloyd Klein have both found themselves in a jail cell for allegedly getting violent on each other. Caitlyn Jenner’s face icon was arrested last December after allegedly going cat scratch fever crazy on Lloyd by scratching his face during a fight at her lair in Trump Tower. A quick minute later, Lloyd got arrested for allegedly shoving Jocelyn to the floor when he stopped by her lair to pick up some shit.
Jocelyn should’ve dumped Lloyd and realized that she deserves a human who will treat her like the luxurious pussy she is by delicately feeding her Fancy Feast from a silver spoon. And Lloyd should’ve realized that bad things happen when they get together and went down to a cat shelter to adopt him a new cat friend. But they stayed together, and yesterday morning, they once again got arrested and were hit with his-and-hers misdemeanor assault charges.
Rose McGowan has been working very hard to bring creeps and pervs to justice. As it turns out, the Metropolitan Washington Airports Authority Police Department is also hungry for justice, but theirs involves Rose McGowan and an old drug charge.