Why do I get the feeling that someone on the internet is rushing to edit together a video of Armie Hammer dancing to Britney Spears’ “Toxic” at this very moment.
Armie Hammer deleted his Twitter account earlier this week after a BuzzFeed post made him feel bad feelings. It was a dark day for fans of Armie Hammer’s devastating social media burns. Armie spoke to TheWrap during a screening of Call Me By Your Name in Los Angeles on Tuesday night and was asked why he deleted his Twitter account.
Gays around the country are already clutching their pearls over how that peach fucking scene from Call Me By Your Name is going to play out, but the pearls got a little tighter when the press tour (certainly not camped up to boost those ticket sales from us kweenz) revealed that Armie Hammer’s gonads were too big for those Italian coochie cutters and had to get edited out in post-production. Continue reading
Say goodbye to Twitter draggings made by Armie Hammer, because he’s gone ahead and deleted his account. Vulture says that nobody is @-ing Armie by his name on Twitter anymore, and it most likely has to do with the BuzzFeed article titled “Ten Long Years of Trying To Make Armie Hammer Happen.” On Sunday, shortly after the post went up, Armie hopped on Twitter and slapped at the writer for their “bitter AF” perspective. Not long after that, Armie pulled the plug on his Twitter account.
What are we to do with Armie Hammer? Some of the stuff he says is commendable, like the time he put James Woods on blast. Armie’s got us in a real pickle this time, because what he’s got to say is only half as great. During a new interview with The Hollywood Reporter, Armie called out greasy little alleged sexual assaulter Casey Affleck (yay!) while simultaneously defending acquitted rapist, director Nate Parker (boo!).
The twink-on-college daddy love story Call Me By Your Name takes place in the 1980s, so it would be a crime if the makers didn’t include one of the oh-so-many musical jewels from that time. They did, and Sony Pictures Classics released a clip of Armie Hammer feeling every part of the beat while dancing to Love My Way by the The Psychedelic Furs. Armie is dancing like a frat boy whose coke buzz hasn’t ended even though the party is over and the lights have turned on. Dancing like nobody’s watching: Armie is.
Even though Armie Hammer has the rhythm of an actual hammer, the curly-topped twink (played by Timothée Chalamet) is feeling the awkward moves that he’s laying down. Armie’s dancing has also inspired someone to create an Armie Dancing To Twitter account, which is basically this scene paired with a bunch of different songs. But to me, the real master of dance in this clip is the girl with the Ogilvie home perm and polka dot body suit who slides into the shot at the 0:26 mark and steals our gazes. Now that is someone who knows how to translate the music of The Psychedelic Furs through dance!
I haven’t read the book or the seen the movie, so I have no idea if this dance scene goes down before or after the peach fucking scene. Armie is into it, so if this dance scene happens after the peach fucking scene, then I guess eating the combination of peach and jizz gives you tons of energy.
Here’s Timothée and Armie at the BFI London Film Festival premiere of Call Me By Your Name the other night.
By now, everybody has probably heard about the peaches and twink cream scene in the gay love story Call Me By Your Name. But since hearing about a peach fucking scene never gets old, I’ll give you the peach cream details again. In the novel by André Aciman, Elio the American twink fucks a peach while thinking about sexing on Oliver the American graduate student. Oliver walks into Elio’s room a little later, finds the peach and eats it. Oliver is so that bitch who permanently stays next to the peaches and brie plate at a brunch party.
The peach scene made it into the movie version of Call Me By Your Name, but director Luca Guadagnino was going back and forth on whether or not they should shoot it. Luca decided to go for it after finding out first-hand (or first-peen in this case) that ass fucking the peach guts out of a peach is possible.