Category: Armie Hammer

Armie Hammer Is Sorry For Telling Celebrities How To Mourn The Death Of Stan Lee

November 16, 2018 / Posted by:

Earlier this week, Armie Hammer had the internet thinking: “Damn, you were a lot more fun when you were eating peaches and dancing to The Psychedelic Furs” after he came for celebrities posting memorial selfies with the late Stan Lee. Armie held firm that if you posted a picture of yourself with Stan Lee, you were tacky and self-absorbed, and he was above all that. Enough people must have called him by his new nickname (aka Asshat, which we’ll get to in a moment), because he’s now very sorry.

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Armie Hammer Doesn’t Want To See People Mourning Stan Lee With Pics Of Themselves

November 13, 2018 / Posted by:

Yesterday the news broke that comic book legend Stan Lee had passed, and many famous people paid their digital respects. I was expecting many tweets playing off his catchphrase “Excelsior!“, but I saw a lot more pictures go up of famous people posing with Stan himself. This didn’t bother me, but it bothered Armie Hammer.

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Now For The Drama, Glamour, And WTF-ery Of The Oscars Red Carpet

March 5, 2018 / Posted by:

Note that I left out the word “mess,” as there’s no question that the messiest part of the red carpet was most likely the three square feet of space occupied by Ryan Seacrest.

If there was an award for red carpet fashion that makes you question a stylist’s sanity, Nicole Kidman would be that category’s Meryl Streep. Nicole arrived in an Armani Prive gown that does double duty. From the waist-up she’s very mascot of a sexy frozen fish company, and from the waist down I’m getting a reminder to please separate my  plastic recyclables from my paper.

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Armie Hammer Took Another Swipe At A BuzzFeed Writer In Defense Of Jennifer Lawrence

February 28, 2018 / Posted by:

Armie Hammer woke up and reached for the cranky pants that are too tight in the crotch again yesterday and #tooktotwitter to pop off at his number one enemy, that damn woman from BuzzFeed! Senior culture writer Anne Helen Peterson (whose post last November titled Ten Long Years Of Trying To Make Armie Hammer Happen made Armie want to throw his dolly at the nanny and led him to quit briefly quit Twitter) opined on a Vanity Fair interview with Jennifer Lawrence and Armie took offense.

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Luca Guadagnino Has Already Planned Out Parts Of A “Call Me By Your Name” Sequel

January 26, 2018 / Posted by:

People who just can’t get enough of seeing a curly-topped twink climb on top of a beefy American mountain named Mt. Hammer (I’m talking to you, James Woods) got their lives made when director Luca Guadagnino said a few months ago that he’s hoping Call Me By Your Name will turn into a series of movies like that Before Sunrise shit starring Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy. Luca did a recent interview with The Hollywood Reporter where he said that he’s already working on ideas for Call Me By Your Name 2: Electric Peachaloo.

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Now For The Messy Fashion Of The Critics’ Choice Awards

January 12, 2018 / Posted by:

Hollywood decided to wear black at the Golden Globes last Sunday night in silent protest of the industry’s sexual assault problem. But four days later, most Hollywood people at the Critics’ Choice Awards went with color.

Kate Bosworth didn’t wear color, but she did wear a mess. Kate is wearing a dress by Brock Collection, but if I hadn’t been told who made her dress, I’d assume she went into a formal event showroom on a particularly dry day, collected too much static electricity while trying on a bridal gown with her socks on, and accidentally left the store with a child’s christening gown that was stuck to her. The best part is that the fun didn’t end when Kate turned around.

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