Today mourners from all over the world flocked to Detroit to pay their respects to The Queen, Aretha Franklin as she lay in state for the first of two days of public viewing. The gold casket in which she lies is a fitting bed for a woman who’s style and panache were legendary. According to Page Six, crowds of people circled the block, some camping out overnight for a chance to say their goodbyes.
Coachella? Never heard of her. Essence Fest, step aside. The biggest and baddest music festival of the decade will be held in next Friday in Detroit, and you’d have to beg, steal, or slap on a wig and borrow somebody else’s identity, if you wanted to attend. Aretha Franklin’s homegoing celebration is scheduled for August 31, and the lineup of artists slated to perform includes Stevie Wonder, Chaka Khan, Jennifer Holliday, Jennifer Hudson, Fantasia, and a slew of other superstars from the gospel, classical, R&B worlds.
Aretha Franklin’s funeral will be held next week, but before that happens, the family must gather around a television set in some opulent, wood paneled, Detroit Deco office somewhere and wait patiently as her lawyer walks in with a video tape and pops it in the VCR to play a very dramatic special message Aretha recorded days prior to her passing. He hits play, everyone is riveted. Who will get the fur collection? But it’s nothing but static.
If y’all were hoping to see an Aretha Franklin tribute last night at the VMAs, erm, Madonna gave a long-ass speech in front of a photo of Aretha about her own career and how she once sang “(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman.” People got ripshit because Madge was Madge and made it all about her and not really at all about Aretha, but now Madonna has clapped back. Madge said that she wasn’t doing an Aretha tribute – if you want a real tribute, she needs at least a half-hour of cultural appropriation and self-promotion to really do the memorial justice!
Ariana Grande Joked She’d Marry Pete Davidson The Moment They Met, Sang A Tribute To Aretha Franklin
Ariana Grande continues to thrive. Her album just dropped, she’s in love and just last night, she appeared on The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon and performed a tribute to Aretha Franklin. Of The Queen of Soul, Ariana said (via People Magazine) “she was so cute”, and now all I want to do is scream into the void. Hello? Is anybody out there?
Ariana also talked about having a crush on her fiance (they haven’t yet earned the grave accent) Pete Davidson, well before they started dating. When you’re young and in love, sometimes you just know it. Much like Pete knew it when he first met Ariana. Oh, and by the way, Aretha Franklin died and Ariana Grande sang the Tonight Show tribute.
If you’re wondering why Amazon has a five-month wait for mourning veils, and flights to Detroit on Kayak are suddenly $20,000 one-way on Southwest, let me tell you why. Aretha Franklin left us on Wednesday night and her family has announced that her funeral will be a four-day (!) affair, including two days of lying in state – open casket! Somewhere in heaven, Evita is fuming “Bitch stole my look.”