Oh, what do we have here? A plastic container filled with expired leftovers from the mid-2000s that really should have been slipped into the trash years ago but for some reason continues to linger in the back of the fridge? Well yes, but it’s also a leftover that is just so sorry some recent gross ass-kissing comments went viral and made her sound like a terrible person. Heavens, we wouldn’t want anyone to think that about Paris Hilton, would we?
Johnny Depp must have received a very frantic call from his manager (or the marketing team at Disney who would like very much to get another decent box office weekend out of Pirates of the Caribbean 5) urging him to use his damp swamp bog mouth to say he’s sorry. Or maybe he didn’t like the thought of an unmarked van full of Secret Service trailing behind him on his next scarf run. Whatever the reason, Johnny has issued an apology for joking about assassinating Trump at the Glastonbury Festival yesterday.
“I apologize for the bad joke I attempted last night in poor taste about President Trump. It did not come out as intended, and I intended no malice. I was only trying to amuse, not to harm anyone.”
The last time Johnny issued a public apology for something, he later made fun of his apology. If he does that this time, I doubt he’ll be so obvious about it. Like, maybe he’ll bring up those recently rediscovered pictures of Trump playing tennis in some extremely unflattering white shorts. “You know, the next time I want to make a joke at Trump’s expense, I should take notes from those shorts. Because they are extremely amusing.”
This week, Elizabeth Banks claimed in an acceptance speech at the Women In Film Awards that Steven Spielberg had never directed a film with a female lead. He of course has (The Color Purple). Elizabeth took shit for it from the internet. Elizabeth is now very sorry for coming for Steven Spielberg without doing her research first.
Whenever Chris Pratt has a movie to promote, there’s a 98% chance Chris will open his mouth and say something dumb several times, and his press tour will turn into an apology tour. Chris is promoting Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, and he’s already said some things that have required him to slip into PR-sanctioned apology mode. His latest apology was delivered in ASL because he pissed off the hearing impaired.
Sinead O’Connor found herself on the receiving end of a $5 million defamation lawsuit from Arsenio Hall in May 2016 after she suggested on Facebook that Prince died from drugs that were supplied to him by his “bitch” Arsenio. She also alleged that Arsenio once tried to drug her drink at a party at Eddie Murphy’s house years ago. Initialy, Sinead responded to Arsenio’s lawsuit by telling “Arse-inio” to suck her dick, but only if he wasn’t “too busy sucking someone else’s dick.” Sinead’s feelings have now changed.
Shortly after Charlie Sheen took a blowtorch to the bridge connecting him with Two and a Half Men back in 2011, he immediately shit-talked his replacement, Ashton Kutcher.Well, Charlie has finally recognized what a goblin he was to Ashton.