Category: Antonio Banderas

Pedro Almodóvar Says That Madonna Treated Him And Antonio Banderas Like “Simpletons” Back In The Day

April 10, 2020 / Posted by:

Spanish director Pedro Almodóvar has been writing essays during his coronavirus isolation. They document “his experiences and the memories that have come up as a result”, which I believe translates to, “here’s some old-ass tea for you”. I looove vintage gossip. The statute of limitations is up, which means we get the true dirt in all its unedited glory! Thank you, Pedro.

In his latest essay, Pedro tells the story of the night he threw a big flamenco party for Madonna when she was in Madrid for her Blond Ambition tour. If you’ve seen Truth or Dare, you already know that Pedro invited all sorts of Spanish celebrities, but Madge was only interested in meeting Pedro’s frequent leading man, Antonio Banderas, because she wanted to bang him (fair). What Pedro didn’t tell Madonna was that Antonio was bringing his then-wife, Ana Leza. Continue reading

Everyone Was Three Sheets To The Wind On The Red Carpet for The Governors Awards

October 28, 2019 / Posted by:

The Governors Awards are a classy affair, you can just tell by the name. According to The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, the GA are “an annual event celebrating awards conferred by the Academy’s Board of Governors – the Irving G. Thalberg Memorial Award, the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award and the Honorary Award.” Basically, they are really the precum of the actual Oscars. Which might explain why so many ladies came dressed in nothing but a satin sheet. Nothing shows off precum quite like a satin bed sheet!

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Brigitte Nielsen’s White Hot Glamour Singed The Red Carpet, And Other Looks From The Golden Globes

January 7, 2019 / Posted by:

Cleaning crews at The Beverly Hilton are probably still vacuuming up the shards of glitter that flew off of Billy Porter when he twirled in that amazing technicolor dreamcape, and are mopping up the Fiji water that people spewed out after realizing they were in the presence of the one and only Fiji Water Girl, and are disinfecting the floor after hundreds of people shit themselves as Baroness Jamie Lee Haden-Guest (seriously, she’s a baroness) sashayed onto the red carpet and they thought, “Damn, Brigitte Nielsen is looking hot after birthing out a baby!” People probably shit out everything in their system and are going to need some probiotics to get their guts good again. I see what you did there Queen of Activia!

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Melanie Griffith Is Over Marriage

August 14, 2018 / Posted by:

Just because Melanie Griffith has no qualms serving as witness at a wedding officiated by Kris Jenner, don’t expect her to utilize her services! One- Kris probably charges out the ass and makes you invite Scott Disick. Two- after three husbands and four walks down the aisle, Melanie is done with marriage. She’s looking for something casual…just don’t expect her to go looking for it on Tinder, commoners.

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Melanie Griffith’s Seizures Stopped After She Got Divorced

October 20, 2017 / Posted by:

When I saw that Melanie Griffith spoke on a panel with Sharon Stone on Wednesday night, I got excited thinking it was just going to be Sharon reenacting the iconic Basic Instinct snatch scene (which The Sun reached by saying she did) taking turns reenacting the Basic Instinct snatch shot and Melanie talking about Antonio Banderas’ peen. Instead, it was a serious talk where Melanie opened up about battling epilepsy and said all her ills went away as soon as she signed her divorce papers.  Continue reading

Melanie Griffith Wants Everybody To Know That She’s Totally Over Antonio Banderas’ Ass, Okay?

June 18, 2014 / Posted by:

When we all found out that Melanie Griffith and Antonio Banderas’ marriage threw itself into a grave on top of the remains of her career (I’m wrong for that, because she was in an episode of Hot In Cleveland and working with Betty White is a career HIGH!), some hos wondered what would become of the definition of “bad choices” on her arm. Would she have that heart-shaped Antonio tattoo turned into a meatball with a unicorn riding on top of it (that’s what I would do)? Would she tattoo the words “FUCK YOU,” over Antonio’s name? Would she leave it and visit tattoo shops all over the world and try to talk people out of making the same mistake she did by inking their piece’s name into their flesh? No, Melanie hasn’t done any of that yet. Instead she’s using that busted down Antonio tattoo to get herself some attention, because why not?

Before going to the Taormina Film Festival in Italy yesterday, Melanie took a foundation stick from Wet ‘N Wild’s Passive Aggressive Collection and sloppily covered up Antonio’s name on her arm. Sure, Melanie could’ve put on a cardigan, but then all of us wouldn’t be talking about how she’s so over Antonio that she lazily slapped some pancake make-up on his name inked into her arm. But you know, Melanie didn’t have to bother covering that mess up. Because most people don’t even notice it since they’re too busy screaming, “FOR WHY? For why did she make her face look like a melting puppet sucking on a lemon?”

And here’s more of subtle Melanie “Hot Fucking Dog” Griffith wearing a Roberto Cavalli barf bag while hanging out with Eva Longoria at the Taormina Film Festival yesterday.

Pics: AP, Getty, Wenn.com

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