Anna Wintour might never be able to show her ghoul face in the House of the Death Eaters again, because she shamed them all on Saturday when her frozen bitch face cracked and let out a small smile while spending time with Harper Seven Beckham. The evil bitch queen is actually smiling at the young, innocent maiden? This is like something out of the weirdest Brothers Grimm fairy tale.
Harper Seven and her DILF of a daddy David Beckham sat front row at Posh Beckham’s NYFW show on Saturday, and next to them was Anna Wintour who actually seemed to be charmed by a child. That smile Anna’s throwing isn’t even a condescending “awwww, bless her for wearing a dress that totally gives her body the wrong silhouette” smile or a “she MIGHT be able to get catalog work if she loses 10 pounds” smile. That seems like an actual genuine smile. When Anna Wintour cracks a smile and the mound of frozen souls in her chest feels warmth, the walls of Hell come crashing down. Lucifer doesn’t know what to think anymore.
I see what Posh did here. Posh is getting back at that bitch Anna for never putting her on the cover of Vogue by melting her black heart. Well played, Posh.
Here’s more of Harper killing Anna with her innocence and also some pictures of Posh with her family at Balthazar after the show.
While getting their anuses bleached next to each other a few months ago, Kanye West begged the house mother of the Death Eaters, Anna Wintour, to put Kim Kartrashian on the cover of Vogue and she said in so many words that the only way that will happen is if Lucifer rises up to Earth, buys Conde Nast and makes Pimp Mama Kris president (this could happen). So Kanye West is trying something else. Because Botox takes twice as long to settle in a newborn baby’s face, North West hasn’t made her public debut yet and Kanye is hoping she’ll make it on the cover of Vogue. Kanye asked Anna if she’d be into putting Kim, North West and him on the cover of Vogue and she wasn’t amused enough to take her mouth off of the living, breathing baby swan she was feeding on. Some source tells Radar:
“It’s no secret that Kanye is a huge fan of fashion, Vogue and especially Anna Wintour. “But it’s also pretty well-known that Anna is NO fan of Kim or any reality star appearing in the pages of the magazine. Kanye is determined to make sure baby North isn’t photographed by paparazzi then splashed across the world. He knows what he wants — a professional photographer and the cover of Vogue – nothing else. But clearly, trying to persuade Anna is going to be an uphill battle.”
When Kanye’s overinflated, pus-filled ego gets a dent in it, he goes even harder and so he’s gathering a bunch of statistics together to show Anna that putting Kim on the cover sells magazines. In his presentation to Anna, Kanye should also make sure he lets her know that Kim’s magazine covers were mostly bought by the owners of constipated birds who used it as cage lining so their pets would really be inspired to shit and piss.
I doubt North West is going to make her debut on the cover of Vogue and I doubt her first portrait is going to replace the Mona Lisa at the Louvre (that’s Kanye’s first plan). I bet that the paparazzo who fucked with Kanye will get the first picture and he’ll make a bunch of money off of it. That’ll make Kanye the speechless one for once.
When Oprah interviewed Paula Deen for Oprah’s Next Chapter last year, she stayed in the Deen family “guest house” in Georgia and now she knows why the “guest house” was actually a shack in the backyard and why there was an Aunt Jemima costume and a dinner bell lying on her cot. The Mighty O got to know Paula Deen, so at last night’s premiere of Lee Daniels’ The Butler in NYC, everybody with a mic asked her about it. Oprah recently said no friend of hers will ever use the n-word around her, so I’m surprised she didn’t tell reporters, “Paula who? Oh, you mean the Miss Millie whose company I’m going to buy with my play money and DESTROY just for fun?” Oprah told Entertainment Tonight that Paula is not the first white woman to use the n-word and also said that she tried to call Paula’s ass.
“In the very first days I tried to reach her and then I decided to stay out of it as I saw it blowing up. In time she will be fine. For me, it all just felt kind of sad.
Nobody in their right mind is going to call me the N-word. You know, you see those fools on Twitter sometime say ridiculous things. But nobody in their right mind is going to do that to my face, because true racism is being able to have power over somebody else. So that doesn’t happen to me that way.”
That’s Oprah’s way of saying, “I’m God, bitch,” and it’s also Oprah’s way of telling Squeak to come call her a “field nigger” to her face, because she really wants to tit pound that bitch through all the layers of the Earth into Hell.
Here’s more of FroPrah and Ted Head Stedman at last night’s The Butler premiere. I also threw in a bunch of pictures of other hos there including Mimi who showed up wearing a sling that can double as a studded fisting glove.
Even though legend has it that J.K. Rowling based the Death Eaters on the Illuminati, the two organizations of dark-sided evilness hate each other and will do whatever it takes to destroy one another. Well, in the never-ending battle between the Death Eaters and the Illuminati, the Death Eaters are winning and they owe it all to their House Madam, Anna Wintour.
E! says that at a pre-Met Gala dinner at Anna Wintour’s townhouse in May, Anna told Kim Kartrashian that she likes the name North West. It’s kind of hard to believe that Anna was able to say words to Kim’s face without dry heaving before screaming at her bodyguards to remove that tacky trash from her sight, but she had ulterior motives. Anna knows that Kim cares more about getting on the cover of Vogue than keeping her allegiance to the Illuminati, so she told her that she liked the name North West. Anna didn’t think those fools would actually fall for it, but those dumb bitches did and named their poor child North West. And Kim still isn’t going to get that cover of Vogue. Ah-haha! E-hehe! The Illuminati are powerless against Anna Wintour! Anna’s assistants now know why she actually cracked a smile this morning.
E!’s source says that Anna saying she likes the name North West isn’t the reason why Kim and Kanye chose that name, but they’re happy to have her blessing. Uh huh. Don’t put a soft dick in my mouth and say that it’s hard. I see that Pimp Mama Kris is just trying to save face and trying to make it look like Anna Wintour didn’t pull one over on them. Well, she did! Game point: THE DEATH EATERS!
E! also says that Kim, Kanye and North West left the hospital last night and are now “in hiding.” Radar posted a copy of North West’s birth certificate and North (no middle name) West really is her name. Apparently, they’re going to call her Nori. So why didn’t they just name her Nori instead of North if they already knew they were going to call her Nori all the time? Well, because they wouldn’t get half of the attention they’re getting if her government name was Nori . Duh! And I was going to have a California Roll for lunch, but I’ve changed my mind.
This is what it would look like if Madame Maxime and Hagrid got really drunk and high one night and accidentally drank a potion, which turned her into a soulless, regular-sized Death Eater and him into a gay, beardless giant. What’s even more terrifying are those twin pillars of vomit on Andre Leon Talley’s hooves. ALT probably thought that he was fancying up those dark-sided Lucifer boots by monogramming his initials onto them. Nice try, Gay Hagrid, but a monogrammed pile of nut-embedded hyena shit is still a pile of nut-embedded hyena shit.
Actually, monogramming them is worse, because it’s telling the world that you’re claiming those horrifying boots made from the intestines of Satan’s slaves. If they weren’t monogrammed, ALT could say that the Illuminati kidnapped his entire family and made him spread the evil by wearing those UGGs. I might believe that story. But the fact that his initials are on them tells me that he’s actually proud to wear the Ninth Circle’s boot of choice. I barely even noticed ALT’s purple silk pajama pants and the oversized Christmas tree skirt on his body, which shows you the evil power of UGGs. And Anna Wintour is smirking, which means she’s totally in on it. Evil whores, the both of them.
You better cleanse your screen with holy water wipes as soon as you click away from this mess.
And here’s others at The Great Gatsby premiere in NYC last night. They’re all unholy bitches for not throwing holy water at ALT’s UGGs when they had the chance. In order: Leonardo DiCatchAHo, Carey Mulligan, Isla Fisher, Florence Welch, Tobey Maguire with his wife (the hell kind of toddler church outfit is she wearing?), Baz Luhrmann with Catherine Martin, Jay-Z, Anjelica Huston, Martha Stewart (wearing her favorite sequined capri leggings) and Joel Edgerton.