In the most simplest terms, the annual Met Gala, which takes place tonight, is a prom for famous people, and the theme for its 71st iteration revolves around the word “camp.” And not the kind of camp with s’mores and bear attacks. The “camp” they’re looking for is over-the-top and theatrical which should come naturally to most celebrities since they spend the majority of their lives being over-the-top and theatrical. In a surprising twist, though, some celebrities are freaking out with trying to get the theme 100% correct as to avoid the judgmental gaze of Medusa’s sister Anna Wintour, who probably can’t wait to turn those that fail her challenge into stone with her timeless Resting Bitch Face of Death.
If you think Madonna is going to great lengths to suck the youth out of unsuspecting souls, Anna Wintour is having a peak “Hold my beer” moment. Sure, there are plenty of stodgy editors who have jumped ship at Conde Nast, but Anna just keeps gaining power. Her latest strategy is a video series For Vogue where she answers questions from peasants, er, readers. The latest chapter had someone asking Anna what she thought about the Kardashians and their style. Surprisingly, Anna didn’t show how she felt by opening the window to her office and jumping out of it.
No offense to Us Weekly. Their covers are better.
There’s been many rumors about how Conde Nast is looking to push out the Dark High Priestess of Fashion Anna Wintour, but they have always denied that shit. But I wouldn’t label you as a dirty lie-teller if you told me that the rumors are true, and Anna Wintour knows her days of terrorizing Vogue are coming to an end, which is why she’s burning that bitch to the ground by turning it into a third-tier tabloid. See: Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin Bieber on March’s cover looking liked a bored dead-inside rich Central Florida housewife humping on her just-released-from-juvi teenage pool boy lover. Honestly, it would be more interesting and edgy if Anna gave the cover of Vogue to an actual bored dead-inside rich Central Florida housewife and her just-released-from-juvi teenage pool boy lover.
I wonder how many people on set had to resist the urge to pluck those pills off of Hailey’s dress, because they needed something to make them forget these two are going to be on the cover of Vogue?
The Crawford-Gerber Malibu mansion is filled with the wails from Miss Kaia Gerber today, because Anna Wintour has gone and delayed her chances of running the likes of Gigi Hadid off the cover of Vogue for two more years. There’s a push in the fashion community to shy away from using 12-year-olds on stilts in fashion shoots because there are a lot of creeps loitering around set, and it’s strange to expect someone who just finished watching Dora to wear this season’s Balenciaga. Being beautiful will no longer get you out of homeroom and smelly high school gym classes. You’re going to have to wait to graduate before you’re paid to get passive aggressive comments from NYC fashion editors! Continue reading
For months now, we’ve all heard the rumor that Anna Wintour is leaving Condé Nast as artistic director, and Vogue as editor-in-chief after 30 years. Anna was so done at Vogue that she reportedly let Beyoncé fully art direct the cover of the September issue. You could practically hear the intern at Vogue prying Anna’s name off the door. Condé Nast has been denying that Anna is going anywhere ever since the rumor started. And I guess the talk about Beyoncé having control over the September cover has Condé Nast on damage control duty again, because they’ve issued another denial.
Yesterday Condé Nast CEO Bob Sauerberg shot down the Anna Wintour rumors in two tweets:
"…in her role as @voguemagazine editor-in-chief and artistic director of Condé Nast." 2/2
— Condé Nast (@CondeNast) July 31, 2018
This follows British Vogue’s claim that it’s “categorically false” that Anna is leaving and is being replaced by British Vogue’s editor-in-chief Edward Enninful. So there you have it, don’t get too comfortable, Beyoncé – it’s only your gig for a month, and then it’s back to the beyhive. Because apparently Anna is there for the long-haul. Or at least that’s what I’m taking from Bob’s use of the word “indefinitely.” He could have also said “forever.” There’s something about Anna’s unchanging appearance that leads me to believe she’ll be barking at a staff of cockroaches to bring her the most cutting-edge post-apocalyptic couture long after the world ends.
Unlike some famous people who will, I don’t know – clomp out of the house in disgusting sweaty plastic heels – Beyoncé is very protective of her image and always has to project Beyoncé-levels of perfect. So it should come as no surprise that Beyoncé reportedly pushed Anna Wintour out of the driver’s seat and fully taken the wheel of her rumored upcoming Vogue cover.