That picture of Jenny Slate with Chris Evans was taken when they were both on Anna Faris’ podcast, and their glazed-over shiny eyes could be from the camera flash, but I’m going to choose to believe it’s from spending all day and all night humping their fuck parts off. As for why Anna Faris and Chris Pratt’s eyes are like that too, they have a 3 year old, so I’m guessing they were smoking crack all day to deal with a hyperactive screaming child.
Anna Faris has a podcast called Anna Faris Is Unqualified (file that under: things I did not know) and her co-star from What’s Your Number?, Chris Evans, was on to talk about all sorts of things. Chris talked about how his tip gets moist for ass more than tits, texting etiquette and one of my favorite subjects: dick pics.
And just like that, Kanye West made an enemy for life and his wife found a kindred spirit.
During an interview for this month’s issue of Health, one of the people I’m most jealous of in this life (married to Chris Pratt, hangs out all day with Allison Janney) Anna Faris confessed her true feelings about the paparazzi who follow her and her hot husband around. Normally, when a famous type talks about the paps, it usually begins with the words “Those scum-sucking bottom-feeding pieces of…” and ends with them mentally going to their happy place to cool down for a while. But not Anna Faris:
“I don’t know if my husband would necessarily agree, but most of them are pretty nice guys, just trying to make a living, and a lot of them are apologetic…if you’re nice to them. I think some celebrities are so mean to them and resent them so much. I mostly feel scared just going out without makeup on.”
Although she doesn’t love the idea of always being lurked by dudes with cameras:
“[Paparazzi] are a part of the job Chris and I don’t really understand, maybe because we both grew up in Washington State. We’re definitely thinking about moving away when we can, a few years from now. Maybe Northern California, or Oregon, or Washington. Chris is a country boy. He really wants land, and I do, too.”
Thank you for that visual of Star-Lord in a pair of country boy coveralls wiping the sweat off his brow in slow motion with a worn-in bandanna, Anna Faris, although I will be sad that there will be no paps there to capture such sexiness.
Here’s Anna in Health sort of giving me Cindy Brady sneaking onto Marcia’s fashion model photo shoot and working the hell out of it vibes: