Category: Animal Stories

Bubbles Is Broke But Alive And Living At A Florida Ape Sanctuary

March 12, 2019 / Posted by:

If you thought Michael Jackson’s pet chimp Bubbles was up in heaven sucking on Whitney Houston’s toes and getting psychoanalyzed by Freud to deal with the shit he saw on earth, you’re wrong! Bubbles is alive and well, listening to flute music, playing with his chimp friends and occasionally painting at a Florida sanctuary called The Center for Great Apes. Sounds like heaven on earth, but none of it is thanks to Michael who left Bubbles a penniless pauper when he died. According to The Daily Mail, Bubbles, who is now 34 years old, hasn’t lived with MJ since he was shipped off to live with his trainer in 1988. Bubbles never even lived at Neverland!

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Quavo From Migos Claims He Bought A Tiger, And People Are Pissed

March 10, 2019 / Posted by:

Quavo Huncho, 1/3 of the golden triangle that is Migos (not to be confused with the dudes that make up Casamigos tequila), pissed people off by posting a video on Instagram, which is a 100% sure fire way to piss people off. Even adorable kitten videos are not safe from people’s negative opinions these days. However, the video Quavo posted isn’t like most kitten videos… think much bigger, non-domesticated and in threat of becoming endangered. It’s a tiger video. Quavo claims he just bought a tiger named “Cho” as a pet. The majority of people weighing in are rightfully pissed off about it.

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Open Post: Hosted By A Model Getting Attacked By Pigs On The Beach

February 13, 2019 / Posted by:

HAHAHAHAHA!! Ok, now that that’s out of the way. I think when Venezuelan fitness model Michelle Lewin watched the Fyre Festival documentary she paid no attention to the lies, scandal and infamy surrounding that cautionary tale of fuckery. Her attention span decreased to zero after the scene where the models frolicked with the pigs and probably thought, “Ooooh, look at the little piggies! We must shoot there at once!” Flash forward to embarrassment and red pig bites on your ass and now she’s probably wishing for a do-over.

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Open Post: Hosted By The Seal Who Just Wants To Be Friends With A Butterfly

August 31, 2018 / Posted by:

Sometimes you just have odd couples that make you wonder how they got together in the first place…like Sonny and Cher, peanut butter and bananas, and that time Paris HiltonLindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears all hung out (yes, I know that is technically a throuple, but cut me some slack: it’s Friday!). Well, if you happened to find yourself at the Oregon Zoo in Portland recently, you may have seen a new odd couple: Kaya, a baby harbor seal, saw a butterfly on the other side of the glass to her tank and decided she just wants to be where the people, er, butterflies are!

Like all good flirts in the club, Kaya just kinda wanders alongside the butterfly and stares it dead in the eyes like the creepiest of stalkers. Then, it turns into some light hovering and chasing before you see Kaya start to wave and do flips to charm her new friend. I mean, Kaya totally wants to eat the damn thing like it’s a good mid-morning snack, but, thanks to that glass, we can all tell ourselves it’s a magical moment of friendship. Plus, the next round of acid trip Lisa Frank folders can include butterflies and seals skipping through a hologram forest!

Pic: YouTube

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Rose McGowan Got Sued For Millions After Her Dog Left A Woman Brain-Damaged

March 17, 2016 / Posted by:

Rose McGowan must already be feeling the effects of that big ass lawsuit. Rose is trying to save money by not buying clothes and is going out wearing shirts made of napkins and crib skirts.

Rose’s rep confirms to People that she’s been hit with a multi-million dollar lawsuit from a woman who has apparently been in a bad way and it’s thanks to one of her dogs. TMZ was first to report the sad, shitty news. An 85-year-old woman named Elna Ebner (who may or may not be named after a silent movie star) is suffering from extreme brain damage and has been lying in a bed with 24/7 care after Rose’s dog Mrs. Noodle jumped on her, causing her to fall and crack her head on the cement. Elna says that she and her daughter were on a walk in the Hollywood Hills when Rose’s dog walker approached with Mrs. Noodle and a smaller dog friend.

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A Bunch Of Endangered Bird Nests Almost Got Trampled During A Taylor Swift Video Shoot In New Zealand

November 27, 2015 / Posted by:

Because Taylor Swift has made it her life goal to be the closest thing we have to a real-life Disney princess, I naturally assumed that meant she was BFFs with the world’s most adorable animals. Yes, only the adorable ones; just like her sugar cookie squad, you have to be cute to get a membership card. (Sorry spiders and that disgusting fish that looks like Ziggy).

But apparently that’s not true! According to BBC News, a bunch of tiny adorable endangered birds in New Zealand almost found themselves homeless this week after Tay Tay decided to film a music video on the beach where they nest. “I can relate” said Ian McKellen. New Zealand conservationists are claiming that birdie homes belonging to the New Zealand dottorel (also known as the New Zealand plover) were at risk of being destroyed after the crew responsible for working on Tay Tay’s new video, Cherokee Films, drove too many trucks onto Bethells Beach during filming. Apparently they had a permit for two, but witnesses claim there were at least a dozen ripping through the tiny bird-sized streets of Plover Place.

ONE News New Zealand got a picture during Taylor’s video shoot, and I don’t see any trucks. Then again, I don’t see any birds, either, so who knows? Maybe the birds and the trucks are having a rumble behind the honey wagon.

Cherokee Films has since released a statement saying that Tay Tay and her management team aren’t at fault for this mess, and had no involvement in planning where on the beach the video would be shot. They also claim they didn’t hurt any birdies or violate any permits.

Even though none of the plover nests got crushed during filming, Cherokee Films announced they were going to make a donation to the dottorel/plover breeding program. Too late, Cherokee Films! I’m sure Tay Tay has already started planning how to “please welcome…” all those birds to the stage to help her drag your ass through song.

Pic: Splash

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