Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt recently decided they will make the the details of their custody drama private. So far, they’ve kept their promise, which means it’s back to our regularly scheduled program of Angelina Jolie, Modern Saint.
Pictured: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie putting on a “united front.”
Last week we learned that St. Angie Jolie’s side has finally co-signed Brad Pitt’s request to protect their children’s privacy by sealing the legal documents in their wreck of a custody fight. But Angie just couldn’t help herself from shanking Brad in the face with her clavicle bone one last time. In documents filed by Angie’s lawyer Laura Wasser, her side said that Brad wanted the court documents sealed because he’s “terrified that the public will learn the truth.” Brad can stop feeling terrified for now, because the two issued a statement saying that they’ve agreed to handle their messy custody fight in private. Uh huh, TMZ, People and The Daily Mail should go ahead and add the key “sources say” to their writers’ keyboards, because they’re going to be using that phrase a lot now that Angie and Brad’s divorce battle has gone private.
Several weeks ago, Brad Pitt’s team accused Angelina Jolie of emotionally scarring their six children by making the nasty details of their split public. Yesterday we learned that Angie had agreed to Brad’s request to seal the documents pertaining to their custody battle, but not without letting her lawyer Laura Wasser get in one last dramatic dig first. Laura claimed Brad only wanted things sealed because he was terrified the public would know “the truth.” The documents aren’t officially sealed yet, so it shouldn’t exactly comes as a surprised that a source would almost immediately come forward with a not-so-subtle hint about what “the truth” is.
Angelina Jolie has finally agreed to keep the public from seeing legal documents about her six children. Brad Pitt’s side has been trying to get documents in their wreck of a custody fight sealed ever since Angie’s side filed their temporary custody agreement, making it public. We all learned that Brad has to get randomly drug tested four times a month and that all his visits with his kids are being monitored by a therapist. Brad’s side said that Angie’s side is playing a dirty game and is hurting their children by exposing all their messy shit. In her filing yesterday, Angie’s lawyer, THE QUEEN of celebrity divorces Laura Wasser, dropped a dramatic dingle that’ll make Mulder and Scully jump on a plane headed to Los Angeles. Because the truth is out there and Brad is trying to cover it up!
It seems like the rich and famous of the world spent their holidays sunning their nipples in Barbados or St. Barts, or working a Chanel ski suit in Aspen. But Angelina Jolie really switched it up by taking her 6 children to Crested Butte, Colorado for New Year’s weekend. Angie probably wanted to go to Crested Butte to see the birthplace and hometown of a superstar artiste who has a million times more talent, natural beauty and charisma than her. I’m talking about the one and only Heidi Montag, of course. I can’t wait to see the video of Angie bowing down in front of Heidi’s childhood home as the child army chorus sings an acoustic version of Higher.
Brad Pitt reportedly already tried to get a judge to seal all documents in his shit show of a custody battle against St. Angie Jolie, but that failed. The judge rejected that request (and probably because the judge received a special warning from GOD to not fuck with his official ambassador to Earth). Brad’s lawyers are trying again to get a judge to put a “None Of Your Damn Business” gold seal on official documents, but this time they’re asking the judge to seal the records only involving his children.