Category: Angelina Jolie

Nick Grimshaw Came For Will Smith And Angelina Jolie

July 16, 2018 / Posted by:

I guess hell hath no fury like a British morning radio DJ relegated to the afternoon. Nick Grimshaw may not be a household name to everyone in the U.S., but for those of us whose idea of fine literature is a litany of subscriptions to British gay magazines (hypothetically speaking, of course), he’s mother England’s gay version of Carson Daly, focusing only on Top 40 songs and feigning interest in what Rihanna puts on her bagel in the morning during an interview just so she’ll grant an exclusive debut of her 900th single in two weeks.

I guess Nick’s tenure of The Radio 1 Breakfast Show for BBC Radio 1 has been notable for scaring viewers away because they moved him to an afternoon show. He was interviewed about the perceived slight, which is pretty amazing since a scorned gay with no fucks to give might be the worst thing to happen to a celebrity’s image – in this case, Angelina Jolie and Will Smith! Continue reading

Brad Pitt Wants To Make Nice With Angelina Jolie For The Sake Of The Children

June 29, 2018 / Posted by:

Now that he’s finished sowing his architectural oats with an MIT architecture professor, and lasted all of 20 minutes with his “I can be a meanie pants in front of a judge, too!” act, Brad Pitt is waving a white flag to the tune of Dido because everybody knows you can’t fight St. Angie Jolie without facing the wrath of whatever spirits she manages to conjure up in her nightly goat sacrifice. Brad is said to be devoting all his time to fatherhood and making things nice to be a better pawpaw. Someone poor one out tonight for Brad’s old bong. Continue reading


Angelina Jolie Went Royal For An Event At St. Paul’s 

June 28, 2018 / Posted by:

Whoever is this proper lady in her refined, crowd-greeting best? Why, it’s Honorary Dame Angelina Jolie, giving you two-parts Duchess Kate with one-part Duchess Meghan, with just a splash of Mr. Clean. I’m sure it’s not intentional, but I’m getting some tub-scrubbing baggy rubber realness from those gloves. Speaking of, I’m sure Brad Pitt is like “Nice gloves, they do a decent job of covering your evil witch claws.

Angelina Jolie is still in London filming the sequel to Maleficent, and earlier today, she took a break from work to attend the 200th Service of Commemoration and Dedication of the Most Distinguished Order of Saint Michael and Saint George. The Order recognizes those who have engaged in service in a foreign country, with respect to Commonwealth affairs. Angelina was there in recognition for her own contributions. Angelina became an honorary Dame in 2014.

That fancy little brooch she’s wearing on her suit is the Dame Grand Cross. I’m sure it’s correct protocol to wear it on her left side like that, which is why it’s there. Personally, if the Distinguished Order people were loose with the rules, I would have thrown it on top of that hat. A little razzle-dazzle is needed to make it look just a tad less like a crumpled up pair of L’eggs pinned to a shoulder pad.



Brad Pitt Is Done Being “Mr. Nice Guy” In His Custody Battle Against Angelina Jolie

June 20, 2018 / Posted by:

Apparently in the giant legal mess that is Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s ongoing custody battle for their six children, Brad has been playing the part of the saintly blonde angel who, up until recently, has been too busy strumming his tiny gold harp to engage in nastiness against his ex. But according to UsWeekly, he’s no longer known as Mr. Nice Guy.

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Billy Bob Thornton Says Wearing Angelina Jolie’s Blood Around His Neck Wasn’t THAT Weird

June 15, 2018 / Posted by:

Back in the day when everyone wondering “What Sex And The City character are you??” and when Brad Pitt was still doting on Jennifer Aniston, the only interesting thing that ever really happened at awards shows was when Joan Rivers (RIP) was allowed to tell actresses what she really thought of their stupid black dress and when Angelina Jolie arrived with a vial of Billy Bob Thorntons Arkansas alligator blood around her neck. Billy Bob’s now talking about their short-lived marriage, saying the weird shit you heard about was blown out of proportion. Continue reading

Brad Pitt Is Doing Great, You Guys 

June 14, 2018 / Posted by:

Time for another update in the Brangelina divorce and custody saga, but don’t worry: this will be a quick one.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have been trying to divorce for millennia (real time: two years) and recently things have been escalating. First it was reported Angelina got word-slapped by a judge for not letting Brad have enough time with the brood.  Then we learned Brad was dating a genius MIT professor who ended up being way too smart for him and she ended up sticking with her billioniare hedge fund boyfriend.  And now we have another update to all of this highly-relevant and highly-exciting information.

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