Brad Pitt Isn’t Responding To Angelina Jolie’s Divorce Petition Because He Doesn’t Want To Cause Drama
Brad Pitt had a deadline to respond to the divorce papers Angelina Jolie filed a month ago. That deadline was Wednesday, the same say Brad finally had some therapist-supervised one-on-one time with Maddox. Brad Pitt missed that deadline, but it’s not because he went home after his visit, cracked a 6-pack of Keystone, and fell asleep during a Love At First Swipe marathon on the couch. TMZ says Brad missed that deadline on purpose, because he has no plans to ever file a legal response.
It’s been a month since Webster’s dictionary removed the word “love” forever since it doesn’t exist anymore now that Brangelina is broken. Since then, St. Angie Jolie’s super team of Pitt fighters and Brad Pitt’s team (Jacques Jolie-Pitt and LegalZoom) have been trying to work out a custody agreement that they both can deal with. The L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services recommended a temporary custody agreement, which they both agreed to. The child army has been living with Angie full-time for the past three weeks and Brad got to visit them a couple of times. That temporary agreement expires tomorrow, and People says that shit is still strained and they haven’t come up with a permanent custody agreement. I would say that they should settle it the highly professional way, with a Rock, Paper, Scissors battle, but that wouldn’t work since Brad would probably stop every 2 seconds to say, “How do I make rock again?”
It’s been almost a month since the news broke that Angelina Jolie didn’t want to be married to Brad Pitt anymore. But a former employee of theirs decided to take us on a stroll down memory lane with some stories from when they were still together. One of Brangelina’s former bodyguards, Mark “Billy” Billingham, the guy seen holding Zahara Jolie-Pitt recently spoke to The Sun about the good ol’ Brangelina days.
TMZ reports that the FBI never opened up a case against Brad Pitt for reportedly laying hands on his son Maddox, 15, during the alleged Flight 666 incident. In fact, there was reportedly nothing to close.
Brad allegedly got aggressive with Maddox after the kid got between dad and mom on board their private jet during a fuel stop in Minnesota. Last weekend, it was reported that Angelina wouldn’t assist law enforcement in any sort of investigation against Brad for child abuse. And according to TMZ, the FBI believe that handing over the case to them was a waste of time.
Well-placed law enforcement sources tell us the FBI never opened an investigation, and say the matter should never have even been referred to the agency.
The Bureau’s official position is that they are still fact-gathering, though they are not calling it an investigation. Behind the scenes, we’re told the case will go nowhere.
L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services is still investigating.
Angie currently has full physical custody of the kids, with her brother James Haven acting as nanny. Now that Brad’s off the hook, maybe he can emerge from his purple haze and get to stepping on recruiting his own Justice League of legals. Angie’s got almost the entire Los Angeles County Bar Association and most of the gals over at the UN. Brad’s got Melissa Etheridge.
Seen above giving off terrifying “Heeeeere’s Jimmy!” vibes in 2004, James Haven has reportedly been helping his sister Angelina Jolie with her 6 children as she deals with divorcing Brad Pitt. Uncle Stains is apparently at Angie’s rental house in Malibu every single day. The windows of that Malibu house must reach the edge of shattering when all 6 kids simultaneously scream, “Mom! Uncle! Gross,” after seeing Angie and James sloppily suck face.
The latest leg of Melissa Etheridge’s “Angelina Jolie Is A Nasty Demon Cuntress Tour” made a stop on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live last night and she debuted a brand new song that I’m sure will soon be #1 on Angelina Jolie’s iTunes playlist. Melissa was on Andy’s SiriusXM radio show on Monday and she said that the allegations that her old friend Brad Pitt went crazy on Maddox are “completely unfounded” and she accused Team St. Angie of leaking fake stories to the media. Melissa also brought up how during Angie’s BBP (Before Brad Pitt) days, she and Billy Bob Thornton acted real nasty toward Laura Dern. On WWHL last night, Melissa said that Team St. Angie went after her about the things she said and she responded to them with a lil’ diddy!