Category: Angela Lansbury

Angela Lansbury Shares Her Thoughts About Sexual Harassment, Is Very Old

November 28, 2017 / Posted by:

Angela Lansbury may use a silly magnifying glass to solve murders as Jessica Fletcher but she doesn’t need any such contrivance to solve rapes. Angela is here to let you know that the number one cause of rape is women’s fashion and old fashioned strumpetry. According to Telegraph UK, Angela, who is 92 years old, gave the unusual victim-blaing “hot take” on the current Weinsteinageddon situation during a Radio Times interview.

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Angela Lansbury Is Slightly WTF Over The Live-Action “Beauty & The Beast”

November 26, 2016 / Posted by:

Global treasure Angela Lansbury probably saw the same advance pics from the upcoming live-action Beauty and the Beast that the rest of us did. They obviously inspired her to dig up her old Jessica Fletcher magnifying glass, point it at those images of Emma Watson grasping nothingness and air where the CGI Beast is supposed to be spinning her ass on the ballroom floor and gently whisper “the fuck?“. Entertainment Weekly spoke with the original (and only) Mrs. Potts at the 25th-anniversary screening in NYC back in September. They got her to admit that, like the rest of us, she hasn’t got clue #1 about why we needed a remake of the animated classic whose selling point is “now with humans.” She actually could have just referred them to her opinions on that bullshit Murder, She Wrote reboot they planned to foist on us. Angela Lansbury? Not here for reboots, remakes or retreads.

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Angela Lansbury’s Thoughts On The Killing Of The “Murder, She Wrote” Reboot

January 23, 2014 / Posted by:

In every picture of Angela Lansbury titling her head, smiling and gently touching her chin, she’s saying, “Bitches know not to come for this.” And she’s right.

When NBC announced that they were recycling Murder, She Wrote as a starring project for Octavia Spencer, the original Jessica Fletcher was one of the first ones to sharpen her shank while letting it be known that she did not approve of it. After several NBC executives woke up with peacock heads in their beds and the faint scent of Jean Nate in their bedrooms, they immediately stopped all plans for the reboot and allowed Octavia to dodge a bullet both figuratively and literally (Angela’s got a gat too). The BBC asked Angela what she thinks about NBC putting a stop to the reboot and after she screamed YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS until her tonsils fell out, she glued her tonsils back in and said this:

Dame Angela, who played amateur sleuth Jessica Fletcher in the original series, told the BBC she was “terribly pleased and relieved” by the news.

“I knew it was a terrible mistake,” she said. “I didn’t want to sully the memory.”

She added: “Octavia Spencer is a superb actress. She had no business being put into a situation that she couldn’t win.”

Sully the memory?! It’s just Murder, She Wrote. It’s not like the peacock went diarrhea times on a true classic like Falcon Crest. You know, I change my mind about the reboot. I wish they would’ve gone through with it. Because then we would’ve seen Angela flipping off the judge on TMZ’s court room live stream after she got arrested for crashing the set and tried to cut everybody in there.

The Murder, She Wrote Reboot With Octavia Spencer Isn’t Going To Happen

January 22, 2014 / Posted by:

Bad news for anybody who lives near Angela Lansbury. You’re going to have to protect yourself under a full body umbrella when you leave your house, because Angela Lansbury is not going to stop squirting out a geyser of victory over the news that NBC has decided to put the Murder, She Wrote reboot back on the shelves. NBC has decided to put all their time, energy, cash and powers of butchery into rebooting Father Dowling Mysteries with Dane Cook and Whitney Cummings instead. I’m joking. I hope.

Octavia Spencer was supposed to play a Jessica Fletcher-type who works as a hospital administrator by day and solves mysteries during her off time, but that’s not going to happen anymore. Deadline says that NBC has spared Octavia Spencer from that bad idea and have decided to put to the side for now. The main hos at NBC decided to spend some time on the reboot and spin it into a new concept. Yeah, that’s their story, but you know they decided to shred it into peacock food after they all left a restaurant together one night. As they were waiting for their cars, ice cold fear crawled up their spines and they suddenly felt the uneasy anxiety a brat feels when they make the mistake of crossing their abuelita. They all looked down the street and there behind the wheel of her parked Kia Soul was Angela Lansbury waving a switch at them. Nothing will make you change your life choices like a mad old grandma waving a switch at you from behind the wheel of her Kia Soul.

Angela made it crystal cunt clear that she’s spitting on the reboot and the whole idea made her want to cut a whore with her knitting needle. NBC says they’re going to try the reboot again, but they won’t.  They learned a lesson. Never fuck with Angela Lansbury.

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Angela Lansbury: Still the boss bitch of Hollywood.

(GIF via WFMU)

The Original Jessica Fletcher Shits On NBC’s Reboot Of Murder, She Wrote

November 11, 2013 / Posted by:

When it was announced that NBC is pulling Murder, She Wrote (aka the show of choice for oldies in the 80s to fall asleep to) out of the retirement home and young-ing it up by casting 43-year-old Octavia Spencer in the lead, I got the scareds, because I figured it’s only a matter of time before those evil whores in Hollywood remake Golden Girls and young up that flawless masterpiece by casting a bunch of young whores. (Note: I’m wrong for putting that idea into the universe and I will murder a bitch with a cheesecake if that happens.) Just like Golden Girls, the whole point of Murder, She Wrote is that Jessica Fletcher is a seasoned beauty. Angela Lansbury agrees and told AP that she thinks NBC shouldn’t call it “Murder, She Wrote,” because it’s a show that cannot be duplicated.

“I think it’s a mistake to call it ‘Murder, She Wrote,’ because ‘Murder, She Wrote’ will always be about a Cabot Cove and this wonderful little group of people who told those lovely stories and enjoyed a piece of that place, and also enjoyed Jessica Fletcher, who is a rare and very individual kind of person … So I’m sorry that they have to use the title ‘Murder, She Wrote,’ even though they have access to it and it’s their right. I saw [Octavia] in ‘The Help’ and thought she was absolutely wonderful, a lovely actress. So I wish her well, but I wish it wasn’t in ‘Murder, She Wrote.’”

NBC is probably going to call it “Murder, She Wrote On Her Facebook Status,” (since Facebook is for the olds only) so technically they’re granting Angela’s wish.

Deadline says that it’s kind of funny that Angela has sharpened her shank and pointed it at the NBC peacock’s neck, because when NBC decided to remake Murder, She Wrote, they immediately told her people that they want her to be a part of it. Octavia isn’t playing Jessica Fletcher, so they want Angela to bring her character back. NBC also hasn’t decided if they’re going to name it Murder, She Wrote or not.

If Deadline is spitting out the truth, then Octavia isn’t going to play Jessica Fletcher and NBC might not even name this shit Murder, She Wrote? So it’s basically just a show about a lady who solves murders. They just used the Murder, She Wrote name to get attention and to piss Angela Lansbury off. I don’t really blame the NBC execs for that, because you really haven’t lived a full life until you’ve gotten an e-mail from the desk of Angela Lansbury that reads, “I will cut you cunts wide open for this.

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