Festival Goers Are Grossed Out By Having To Give A Saliva Sample To Attend Cannes

We can now add spittle to the list of things the Cannes Film Festival attendees deem to be more repugnant than Roman Polanski. According to Variety, festival attendees arriving from outside of the EU are being required to visit The Drool Tent, or La Tente de Bave, if you will, to provide a saliva sample to be tested for COVID-19 before attending any events inside the Palais. Festival-goers have described the process as “really gross” but then turn around and watch Tilda Swinton in a movie about a woman suffering from “exploding head syndrome,” (via IndieWire) or worse, a movie starring Simon Rex! Yes, old Dirt Nasty himself has a movie at Cannes this year and Roman Polanski does not. The earth is healing.

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Andie MacDowell And Her Two Daughters Were Caught Allegedly Trespassing In A Los Angeles Park

The MacDowell crime family are as ruthless and sinister as they are bumbling and inept. On Friday, Andie MacDowell and her two notorious daughters, Margaret and Rainey Qualley, set out to bring the population of Los Angeles to its knees by flouting quarantine and sneaking into a park to walk their hellhounds, Ava Gardner and Books. The MacDowells were, of course, caught red-handed when they were photographed by Page Six leaving the scene of the crime, the Audubon Center in Debs Park. The images of the MacDowells scooting on their butts under a locked gate, wearing white pants and shirts, Andie is an oversized straw hat, would almost be comical if their crimes weren’t so heinous. As it stands, we should all just be thankful that the only victim (THIS TIME!) was the law. Well, not the “law” exactly, but a hastily printed sign taped to a gate that reads “Park Closed Until April 30. Sorry for the inconvenience.” If it’s any consolation, a subsequent attempt to cover up the crime, blew up in Andie’s face.

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Andie MacDowell Thinks Her Daughter, Margaret Qualley, And Pete Davidson Have A Beautiful Relationship

My father-in-law is an Andie MacDowell SUPER fan. He’s basically a Juggalo and she is his Insane Clown Posse. So….I’m not sure how to break the news that Andie MacDowell is clearly not in a right state of mind, because she has just said that she’s “happy” that her daughter, Margret Qualley, is dating Pete Davidson and that they have a “nice” and “beautiful” relationship. Maybe Andie thinks that her daughter is rebelling against her ass by dating Pete, so if she pulls some reverse psychology shit and approves of the relationship, Margaret will dump him out of frustration that she didn’t piss Andie off. Yeah, that must be it.

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Andie MacDowell Was Forced To Fly In “Tourist” Class And She Lived To Tell The Tale!

The next time you find yourself struggling through some serious shit and you’re not sure how you’re going to get through it, just close your eyes and think of Andie MacDowell’s tourist class struggles. If Andie can get through that, all of us can get through anything!

Twitter is really, really good place for two things: It’s a good place for people to spit at airlines for screwing up their trip. And it’s also a good place for people to exercise their RAGE muscle by getting mad over some shit a famou-ish type tweets out. Both of those things happened on Friday when noted movie ruiner Andie MacDowell complained to American Airlines on Twitter after they bumped her from first class to coach on a 1-hour flight from Charlotte, NC to Myrtle Beach, SC. Andie paid for a first class seat and she pre-booked a space for her dog friend, but the AA employee let her know that she couldn’t sit in 1A because there was nowhere to put her dog. The AA employee wouldn’t let Andie switch seats with another richie in first class. Andie tweeted that above tweet and immediately turned on people’s RAGE switch by calling coach “tourist” class.

When people stamped the “certified Goopy” label on Andie’s forehead, she said that she calls it tourist class because it sounds more glamorous and she’s only mad since she didn’t get what she paid for:

Not how I feel, I’m not superior at all just wish I hadn’t payed for first very expense. Lord honey hate on me if it pleases you, I paid for a flight to volunteer for literacy & didn’t get what I paid for.

I think tourist sounds more glamorous than coach. I had no idea other felt it sounded less because I fly tourist often.

Lessons learned, never complain on Twitter & don’t pay for first class on American Airlines. Only express gratitude…can we move on now.

Andie has a right to be pissed since she dropped a load of her Hallmark Hall of Fame movie money on a first class seat and didn’t get it, but I’m laughing at her calling coach “tourist” class. I’ve never heard that before and so I looked it up. Wikipedia tells me that in the olden times, “third class” was called “tourist class” on ships. That still makes her a certified Goopy, because you know Goopy Paltrow calls coach “steerage.” And if I was Andie, I would’ve stayed in first class with Rose’s mom and Molly Brown and made my dog sit in “tourist” with Jack Dawson.

Pics: Wenn.com, @AndieMacDowell3