Everybody’s least favorite exhibitionist and notorious over-sharer Lena Dunham will have a role on the next season of Ryan Murphy’s American Horror Story. Ryan announced the unexpected casting choice yesterday via Twitter.
Sure, blame it on the booze! Entirety of television owner Ryan Murphy admitted he was just a little bit tipsy when he went on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live last week and told that annoying but kind of hot (don’t judge) Andy Cohen that the next season of American Horror Story would be about the 2016 election. Ryan even hinted that Donald Trump might be a character.
Despite that being a valid topic for a show about abject horror, Ryan nows says that he was shittoed and exaggerating.
Ryan Murphy was on Watch What Happens Live last night and he spilled some info on two of the 300,000 shows he’s currently working on. Ryan confirmed that season 4 of American Crime Story will focus on the Monica Lewinsky/Bill Clinton sex scandal and adds that he’s talking to Sarah Paulson about possibly playing the role that will forever belong to John Goodman: the role of Linda Tripp. Ryan doesn’t think that the Clintons will be major characters in it and wants to cast an unknown as Monica Lewinsky. That high-pitched hyena sound that is fucking your eardrums hard is Lea Michele screaming while cutting up the beret she bought to play Monica.
Season 2 of ACS is about Katrina and will start shooting this summer. Season 3 of ACS is about the Gianni Versace murder and it starts shooting in the spring, but will air after Katrina. Ryan dropped a shock bomb (wrapped in a thick, puffy layer of sarcasm) last night by announcing that Darren Criss will play Andrew Cunanan. Hot Venezuelan piece Edgar Ramirez will play Versace. Ryan says that they’re talking to an Oscar-winner about playing Donatella. I’m going to guess either Charlize Theron, or Daniel Day-Lewis, who can really do it all.
As for the 7th season of American Horror Story… Ryan and company will grab their viewers by the ankles and drag ’em back to the chunky shit hellscape that was the 2016 presidential election. Although, compared to what’s happening now, I look at those innocent, sweet days fondly.
“Borrowing heavily” as in a whole title! Perhaps realizing that the gleam has been a little dulled on his shock-heavy FX horror series (Lady Gaga can sometimes have a tarnishing effect on things), American Horror Story creator Ryan Murphy has turned the marketing for the show’s upcoming sixth season into a “Guess which one of these 30,000 horror tropes is next season’s actual theme?” game. The jig could be up, however, because TV Guide and Rotten Tomatoes might have let the demonically-possessed cat out of the bag.
There’s always two things you can count on. Number one is that the world will continue to spin with or without you. And number two is that a Ryan Murphy production will be ten layers of gay and twelve layers of camp. Really anything could be evidence in proving this but I’m choosing my favorite – John Travolta‘s wig in American Crime Story. His former leading lady on American Horror Story, Jessica Lange, is on to new things, specifically Ryan’s new show, Feud. She’ll be playing Joan Crawford opposite Susan Sarandon‘s Bette Davis. See? The world still turns and this new show is sending the gay and the camp through the roof.
Jessica was recently on Charlie Rose and he brought up AHS. Like many, he was wondering whether she’d ever return to it and save us from Lady Gaga. Sadly, her answer was a “no”. (via E!)
Jessica: “No, I think, you know, I had four years with that. Four seasons. And each year was a marvelous character. Everything changed from one year to another, which made it very interesting for me. But, no, I think sometimes you come to the end of something and it has a…”
Charlie: “And you know?”
J: “Yeah. And it has had it’s natural… end.”
C: “But, I mean, people loved you in that.”
J: “I know. I know, I know. It’s funny.”
No, Jessica, it isn’t funny. You know why? Because Lady Gaga now has an Golden Globe. Is that funny to you, missy? Whatever. Jessica may be done scaring us in places like murder houses and New Orleans witch covens, but I’m sure her Joan Crawford will terrify us all. Thanks to Faye Dunaway, we all cower in fear when there’s even a wiff of wire hangers so Jessica has a lot to live up to. I hope she throws her talented class act thing out the window, chews the scenery like no one ever has and gives Faye a run for her money. I’m also hoping that she stuck it into her contract that Ryan must at all times wear a blonde wig and be called Christina.
I’m completely reading into something Ryan Murphy said in an interview with Deadline. As far as Jessica Lange is concerned, woman is done and Lady Gaga’s moving into American Horror Story Hotel. But there are dreams, we can have dreams. I can’t…can’t…reconcile ConstanceJudeFionaElsa being replaced with Gaga as a downtrodden chambermaid or the lifeguard. It’s just not right. I think I’d rather Madge check in and trip over balloons while accompanied by half-hearted cameo overlays from Beyonce and Miley. Anyway, what he said to fill us with false hope:
“Well, all I can say about that never say never with Jessica. She and I are doing something else right now. I’m producing a production of A Long Day’s Journey Into Night, that is one of her dream roles. She’s done it before and she wanted to do it again and I got the rights for her, we’re going to do that on Broadway. So we’re working again together, and I think if I went to Jessica and I had an amazing role, I think she would do it. I think she wanted some time off, but Jessica is somebody that is always about the role, in every season on this show.”
Considering the Casual Female XL shade that Jessica and her complete and total lack of fucks cast when asked about Gaga’s chances of success in replacing her, I wouldn’t bank on her ringing that front desk bell.
There is good news, though. Denis O’Hare (Burned Guy, necrobutler Spaulding, the con dude with the huge dick that they turned into a chicken last season) is back, as is Finn Wittrock. Dandy was an irritating-as-fuck character, but Finn Wittrock’s buttocks were not. So there’s that. (OH GOD, PLEASE COME BACK, JESSICA LANGE!)
Oh, and The Daily Beast asked Jessica about the aforementioned verbal bored wave she gave Gaga. Follow the jump for a master class in how to avoid answering a question until the bitter end (as well as more pics of Gaga).