Category: American Horror Story

Jessica Lange Is Returning To “American Horror Story”

August 4, 2018 / Posted by:

Queer mafia leader Ryan Murphy better get down on his knees and thank Gay Jesus, because his #1 star is returning to the show that made him great. Variety reports that, during the TCA summer press tour on Friday, American Horror Story’s second-in-command Sarah Paulson announced that Jessica Lange would be returning to the show for its eighth season, AHS: Apocalypse. She’ll be reprising her role as Season One’s nosy neighbor and grandmother of evil, Constance Langdon. So we won’t get the classic knotty pinnnnneeee?!?!“, but we might get withering put-downs to ghost maids and burnt people. Good enough!

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Ryan Murphy Has Somehow Managed To Nab The Biggest Star In The World For The Next “American Horror Story” 

April 4, 2018 / Posted by:

Alternate title: Dame Joan Collins To Save “American Horror Story”!!

The following so-called famous people have been in past seasons of American Horror Story: Jessica Lange, Connie Britton, Angela Bassett, Kathy Bates, Joseph Fiennes, Sarah Paulson, Matt Bomer, Lady Gaga, James Cromwell, Cuba Gooding Jr., Frances Conroy, Emma Roberts, and Michael Chiklis. But AHS could never say that it was filled with blinding star power until now.

The Hollywood Reporter did a big profile on Ryan Murphy’s $300 million Netflix deal, and he dropped a few little nuggets. He’s thinking of doing a Barbra Streisand/Lady Gaga variety show (no, thank you), he’s contemplating a wellness show (another “no thanks” to GOOP TV), says that American Crime Story: Katrina is still in the works, and that an ACS season of the Monica Lewinsky/Clinton scandal has been canceled. (Ryan doesn’t think it’s his place to tell Monica’s story, and will only do it if she’s a producer and will get money out of it.) Buried in Ryan’s THR profile is a stage 10 bombshell: Dame Joan Collins is going to be in the next season of American Horror Story. THR probably buried the lede, because if they put it in the headline, their site would’ve crashed.

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The “American Horror Story: Cult” Trailer Is As Terrifying As You Might Expect

August 23, 2017 / Posted by:

The trailer for American Horror Story: Cult dropped yesterday, and, no, it wasn’t just a film of Hillary Clinton’s supporters sipping a giant vat of Sleepy-Tea to slumber on through the next four years. Instead, that shit begins in Michigan on Election Night 2016. You know, that state everyone knew HRC had on lock, so she didn’t even bother to visit. Welp, we know how that turned out: HORRIBLE. Thus, Ryan Murphy knew nothing would be spookier reliving that shit. Only, he could make it spookier…WITH CLOWNS!

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Ryan Murphy Now Says The Next Season Of “American Horror Story” WON’T Be About The Election

February 26, 2017 / Posted by:

Sure, blame it on the booze! Entirety of television owner Ryan Murphy admitted he was just a little bit tipsy when he went on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live last week and told that annoying but kind of hot (don’t judge) Andy Cohen that the next season of American Horror Story would be about the 2016 election. Ryan even hinted that Donald Trump might be a character.

Despite that being a valid topic for a show about abject horror, Ryan nows says that he was shittoed and exaggerating.

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The Next Season Of “American Horror Story” Will Cover The Most Terrifying Story Yet

February 16, 2017 / Posted by:

Ryan Murphy was on Watch What Happens Live last night and he spilled some info on two of the 300,000 shows he’s currently working on. Ryan confirmed that season 4 of American Crime Story will focus on the Monica Lewinsky/Bill Clinton sex scandal and adds that he’s talking to Sarah Paulson about possibly playing the role that will forever belong to John Goodman: the role of Linda Tripp. Ryan doesn’t think that the Clintons will be major characters in it and wants to cast an unknown as Monica Lewinsky. That high-pitched hyena sound that is fucking your eardrums hard is Lea Michele screaming while cutting up the beret she bought to play Monica.

Season 2 of ACS is about Katrina and will start shooting this summer. Season 3 of ACS is about the Gianni Versace murder and it starts shooting in the spring, but will air after Katrina. Ryan dropped a shock bomb (wrapped in a thick, puffy layer of sarcasm) last night by announcing that Darren Criss will play Andrew Cunanan. Hot Venezuelan piece Edgar Ramirez will play Versace. Ryan says that they’re talking to an Oscar-winner about playing Donatella. I’m going to guess either Charlize Theron, or Daniel Day-Lewis, who can really do it all.

As for the 7th season of American Horror Story… Ryan and company will grab their viewers by the ankles and drag ’em back to the chunky shit hellscape that was the 2016 presidential election. Although, compared to what’s happening now, I look at those innocent, sweet days fondly.

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