Category: America!

Open Post: Hosted By Jewel’s Polarizing Indy 500 National Anthem Performance

May 30, 2023 / Posted by:

Like Chaka Khan and Fergie before her, this week Jewel decided to take some artistic liberties while performing The Star-Spangled Banner at a nationally televised sporting event. And like Chaka Khan and Fergie before her, Jewel’s performance at the Indianapolis 500 this past Sunday caused a stir; with some people loathing her slow, acoustic countrified version, while others lauded her for putting her own spin on it.

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Open Post: Hosted By A Kansas Man Dressed As A Can Of Bud Light Getting Arrested For DUI

May 12, 2023 / Posted by:

Bud Light spent some time in the news recently when outrage and boycotts ensued after they dared to enter into a partnership with trans influencer, Dylan Mulvaney, when it seems that a large percentage of their customer base happens to be transphobic human sludge. And the company probably isn’t thrilled that they’re making news again; this time because of a Facebook post a Kansas sheriff’s office shared after they arrested a surprisingly-not-from-Florida-man for driving under the influence who also happened to be dressed as a Bud Light beer can.

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Chris Pratt Triumphs In The Faces Of “Woke” Critics Who Gave His New Show “The Terminal List” A Low Rating On Rotten Tomatoes

August 8, 2022 / Posted by:

The internet’s favorite Chris (/sarcasm), Chris Pratt has taken time out from his busy schedule of annoying everyone to star in Amazon Prime’s The Terminal List. It’s a hit with audiences but a misfire with critics. So naturally, Chris took to his Instagram to let all the “woke” critics know that as long as his show is a success with the people, that’s all he really cares about.

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Halsey Responded To Fans Who Walked Out Of Their Concert In Reaction To Pro-Choice Speech

June 30, 2022 / Posted by:

It’s been a few days since a room full of crusty, out-of-touch, mostly male dickbags who no one elected but get to keep their asses planted on the bench for as long as they’d like to fuck over as many women and minorities as they can during their lifelong tenures decided that individual states can decide what people with uteruses can do with their own bodies. Obviously, people have strong feelings about it, and Halsey has never been one to back away from making their stance on issues known. At Halsey’s concert on Sunday night, the singer made comments condemning the overturning of Roe vs. Wade, spurring some people to walk out. When Halsey was made aware of this, they basically said that these people can kick rocks.

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Open Post: Hosted By A British Woman Trying Ranch Dressing For The First Time

March 15, 2021 / Posted by:

Dawn Farmer, who describes herself as a “typical Brit” in her TikTok bio, is entertaining the masses with her video reviews of American foods: root beer floats, s’mores, chicken and waffles, beef jerky, and more. Last week one of Dawn’s Yankee fans sent her a bottle of Hidden Valley ranch dressing in the mail. Dawn says she’d never even heard of ranch until a few months prior, explaining that it’s super uncommon in the UK. Although she was initially hesitant about how “it smells quite…mayo-y”, she bravely dipped her cucumber into the white sea of fat. The verdict? Love at first bite! “Oh, it’s good, isn’t it? Oh hell yeah, that’s nice! Oh yeah. I can see why you like it.” Since then, Dawn says she’s been putting ranch on everything. We did it, Joe!

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Open Post: Hosted By The Exploding Dummies In This Fireworks Safety Video

July 4, 2020 / Posted by:

Today is the Fourth of July. And while this year’s party might feel like a trip to the dentist instead of a day at Chuck E. Cheese’s (I mean, literally insert any news item from the past six months and tell me there’s still anything to celebrate), there are still some ways that you can whoop it up responsibly. No, I’m not talking about mixing up some virgin margaritas (I just assume that everybody is and has been drunk at 9 am everyday since March) before passing out in your backyard kiddie pool. No, if you can somehow manage to get your hands on some colorful explosives, you can treat this year like every other Fourth of July. Just don’t let any sparks land on your face masks.

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