Category: Amber Heard

Amber Heard Reportedly Turned Down Elon Musk A Few Times

April 27, 2017 / Posted by:

Amber Heard and Elon Musk have finally taken their hush-hush relationship public. We know they’ve been together for almost a year now, but apparently if Elon had had his way, he and Amber would have been a couple way sooner. Ever since they met on the set of Machete Kills in 2013, Elon had been pursuing Amber like he was Wayne Campbell and she was a 64 Fender Stratocaster. But a source tells UsWeekly that Amber kept turning him down. All that woo-ing paid off, and two months after her marriage to Johnny Depp crashed and burned, she succumbed to his charms. Elon was nice enough to give her a gift when she finally agreed to go out with him:

“Elon has been pursuing Amber, but she wouldn’t go out with him for a long time. She finally gave in. He even got her a Tesla!”

Let’s not pretend like a Tesla is such a generous gift. The guy owns Tesla. That’s like the manager of a McDonald’s bragging that their girlfriend never pays for McNuggets.

To put all this in perspective. Amber got with Johnny Depp after filming The Rum Diary in 2011. They officially got divorced in January. Elon was still technically married to his second wife Talulah Riley until October of last year, so it sounds like being married isn’t exactly a road block on his quest to get laid. Amber might want to keep that in mind. The good news is she won’t be blindsided if Elon decides to cheat on her. She’ll know exactly what’s up if she sees him headed to the Tesla dealership with a giant car-sized bow under his arm.

Pic: Instagram

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Amber Heard And Elon Musk Let Everyone Know That They Really Are A Thing

April 24, 2017 / Posted by:

Ever since the rumors about Amber Heard getting on Elon Musk’s billionaire dick popped up, some have been screaming, “Get money, bitch“, at her. So I’m going to choose to believe that Amber is purposefully throwing a look that says, “I am getting money, bitch,” while posing next to the kiss mark she planted on that bottomless ATM.

There’s been rumor after rumor that Amber has rebounded from the pile of dick cheese-stained scarves that is Johnny Depp with Tesla billionaire Elon Musk, but there was never photographic proof until this past weekend when they went all out. They both posted a picture on Instagram of themselves at a restaurant on the Gold Coast and they also hit the ho stroll before going ziplining. What’s really surprising is that in that picture above, Elon isn’t smugly patting himself on the back, because he’s wanted Amber for so long that you’d think he’d publicly congratulate himself for finally landing that trophy.

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Amber Heard’s Dad Says She’s Planning To Marry Elon Musk

April 18, 2017 / Posted by:

Amber Heard’s first marriage to Johnny Depp was a grade-A mess from start to finish. Accusations of gold digging, dog smuggling, and a divorce that will go down in Hollywood history as one of the messiest divorce battles every fought by a famous millionaire and his younger famous wife. Well, getting divorced from a rich older dude clearly didn’t scare Amber off marriage for good, because word is she might be thinking about getting married to her older billionaire boyfriend Elon Musk.

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Amber Heard Feels That Every Closeted Gay Celebrity Should Come Out

March 25, 2017 / Posted by:

That fishy Amber Heard chick (I’m referring to her upcoming role as Queen of the Seven Seas in Justice League, of course) has an opinion about gayness in Hollywood. Proud bi Amber says come out, come out, wherever you are. (Where they are is what Leah Remini is currently working overtime to destroy! Get HER to clean out those thetan closets, Amber.)

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Amber Heard And Elon Musk Were Seen Together Again

March 2, 2017 / Posted by:

During the summer months of Amber Heard and Johnny Depp’s massive tension headache of a divorce, there was a rumor that she was “hanging out” with her billionaire friend Elon Musk. It wasn’t entirely clear that their hang-outs were of the platonic variety. 30-year-old Amber and 45-year-old Elon had been seen having dinner, staying in Miami, leaving each other’s houses and offices, and they were seen together again this week.

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