Two years ago, there was some Harry Potter-adjacent casting news that made people almost flip their shit as hard as they did when they cast a black Hermione in Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. Except this uproar was just a bit more justified. It involved Johnny Depp, the Fantastic Beasts series, and the ongoing abuse allegations. Johnny is finally talking about that time.
British GQ released a Johnny Depp profile that seemed to take everything Rolling Stone did a few months earlier, and did the exact opposite. What we got was a picture of Johnny that made him seem cool, funny, not an alcoholic, responsible with money, and living for his truth. I’m sure Johnny hugged the issue with eyes closed and whispered “Thank you” after he lifted his copy from his mailbox. But one person who clearly didn’t buy British GQ’s power washing of Johnny’s reputation was his ex-wife Amber Heard.
In July, Johnny Depp gave a Rolling Stone interview where he was up all night, bragging about blowing $5 million to shoot Hunter S. Thompson’s ashes into the atmosphere and reminiscing about quaaludes. Johnny wanted a damage control do-over, but he sure as hell wasn’t going back to Rolling Stone. So he went to British GQ and tried to set things straight.
According to new revelations, the real reason Amber Heard and Johnny Depp’s marriage shit the bed was because SOMEBODY literally shit the bed. According to The Mirror, sources say that feces found in the marital bed led to the fight that marked the beginning of the end for these two.
Amber Heard and Johnny Depp were married for a little less than two years, and it feels like their diarrhea tornado of a divorce battle lasted five times longer than that. But after all those gross abuse accusations and greedy gold digger labels were thrown, they finally closed the casket on their marriage in 2017. They still fought over money, but the messiest part was done. How simple-brained some of us are, because we’re not done hearing about it, and thanks to one of Johnny’s many lawsuits, he’s playing the “but, but, she hit me too!” card.
“Permission to come aboard?” YOU DAMN SKIPPY, JASON MOMOA. This movie is probably a piece of vibrantly covered dookie, but whew, DC Comics’ Aquaman is fine. Here’s the trailer for his new flick which will doggy paddle into trailers this December. Just in time for Christmas – an underwater fap fantasy! Continue reading