Category: Amber Heard

Amber Heard Kissed Vito Schnabel During Breakfast 

May 22, 2018 / Posted by:

Amber Heard has shown that nothing gets her lady bits going quite like a good frittata and a cappuccino. Breakfast had to shield its eyes when she and on-and-off-again ex Elon Musk slurped on each other over pancakes last year. And just when the most important meal of the day thought it had got a break, Amber is back at it with her new boo thang Vito Schnabel. Continue reading


The Definition Of Random’s Got A New Favorite Couple And It’s Elon Musk And Grimes 

May 7, 2018 / Posted by:

Many minds blew into the universe today and they didn’t need to hitch a ride on a SpaceX rocket to do so. Minds were blown into the universe after reading that 30-year-old Canadian cyborg goth musician Grimes (born name: Claire Elise Boucher) is humping on 46-year-old billionaire super nerd Elon Musk (born name: Elon Musk). And MuskGrime went public with their nerd love at tonight’s Met Gala.

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Amber Heard Delivered On Her Promise To Donate Her Divorce Settlement To Charity

April 10, 2018 / Posted by:

When Amber Heard and Johnny Depp settled their divorce in 2016, she responded to the accusations of gold diggery by promising to donate all of her $7 million settlement to charity. Amber chose the ACLU, with a focus to stop violence against women (appropriate), and the Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles. Amber accused Johnny of dragging their settlement out, possibly because Johnny’s going broke.

But E! News says that the money finally arrived and Amber came through for the Children’s Hospital.

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Amber Heard Supposedly Went On A Date With Sean Penn 

March 10, 2018 / Posted by:

Page Six is reporting that Amber Heard went on a “romantic date” with Sean Penn. This would be the second alleged wife-beater for Amber. There’s a lot to unpack there, but let’s leave that to the therapists. Instead, let’s focus on her losing a JILLIONAIRE with A SPACESHIP? You could have been the Queen of Mars, and now you’re on a date with a surly Slim Jim? Continue reading

Amber Heard And Elon Musk Relationship Update: They Were Seen Holding Hands

January 24, 2018 / Posted by:

Amber Heard and her bathroom spray-named boyfriend Elon Musk haven’t said they’re back together, but they’ve been throwing out plenty of signals that confirm they are. They got papped hugging after a brunch date and were photographed together while on vacation together in Chile. Guess who was once again caught by a camera looking like a couple after a meal.

Page Six says Amber and Elon were papped holding hands while leaving a sushi date on Monday in Los Angeles. A source previously said that they didn’t get back together. But a source tells Page Six that “they are together at the moment.” I like that “at the moment” part at the end of that short little statement. It tells me that source doesn’t want to gossip too much, but they still have a shady side and doubt that this is going to last more than two months.

But what’s with all these regular money dates? Breakfast? Sushi? It was my understanding Elon was a bazillionaire. Maybe it’s because I’ve never dated someone who was rich enough to buy their own planet, but you’d think a date with Elon with be a little splashier. Or maybe he’s just trying to give Amber the average ol’ boyfriend experience. Even if he’s so rich and out of touch with reality that he probably blows it in the first 10 minutes. “I’ll have the freshwater diamond gill angelfish cheek…I mean, tuna. Just regular tuna.



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