During Kanye West’s interview with Ellen Degeneres last year, he gave the studio audience a serious case of “Da Fuq He Talkin ‘Bout?“-s after he went on a rant about how he had the ability to see sounds. BUT, it became clear this week that his visions could be just from the contact high of allegedly boning one of the Club Kids. Fans say Yeezy is the rapper Amanda Lepore is talking about shagging in her new memoir.
And here’s the porcelain figurine goddess that Courtney Stodden is trying to become one liquid plastic injection to the lips at a time.
Amanda Lepore recharged everyone’s power bars at the Life Ball, one of the biggest AIDS charity events, in Vienna yesterday when she gave them all kinds of life by strolling onto the carpet with luscious red lips that looked like a freshly bloomed Anthurium, exquisitely crafted brows that a chola will razor a bitch for and tits so high the angels could touch them with their toes. Amanda Lepore puts the Life in Life Ball. The Life Ball also brought out the likes of Conchita Wurst, Marcia Cross, Ricky Martin, Carmen Carrera, Courtney Love and Bill Clinton.
Yes, Bill Clinton and this generation’s Marilyn Monroe were at the same event. For Bill’s sake, I hope he brought a $1,200 cigar that was dipped in the world’s most expensive champagne and rolled in diamonds, because Amanda Lepore only allows the finest of finest things to touch her opulent body.
Meanwhile in Heaven, Elvis and Marilyn Monroe gossip while hanging out on God’s throne….
We should all print out this picture and keep it in a rhinestone-encrusted heart-shaped locket around our necks to look at when we see ugly things out in the world (examples: CROCS, Kimye’s Vogue, the beaver tail on Kevin Spacey’s head, etc…) and need to be reminded that true beauty exists. The Germany cholita swan that is Harald Glööckler and Amanda Lepore, the woman Courtney Stodden wishes she could be, held court at the opening of his store at Friedrichstrasse in Berlin tonight. My favorite delicate German flower Micaela Schäfer was also there, completing the trifecta of potent gorgeousness and glamour.
I would pull out my eyeballs and put them in a box under my bed since is the most naturally beautiful thing I’ll see all year and nothing else will compare, but I’m not going to do that, because RuPaul’s Drag Race is on tonight.
WARNING: Staring at these pictures will cause you to cough up glitter and will give you the sudden urge to suck off a Sharpie and grope two plastic fish bowls.
As Elton John, Billy Clinton, a knocked up Fergie Ferg, a long-lost Kardashian named Conchita Wurst, Glamberace, Karolina Kurkova, Kelly Osbourne, Melanie Griffith, Hilary Swank, Amanda Lepore, Carmen Electra and Azealia Banks were on their knees worshiping at her perfect feet, Barbara Eden performed as Jeannie at the Life Ball in Vienna. By “performed,” I mean stood on stage, looked at the audience, did a few of her Jeannie poses and stood on the stage some more. But you know, Barbara Eden could do something heinous like read Chris Brown’s tweets out loud and I’d still give her a standing ovation.
Hillary, better come and get Bill. You know Bill was looking at Barbara Eden in her Jeannie costume and was thinking to himself, “I’d let you rub my lamp. You might not get a genie who’ll grant you three wishes, but you’ll get something else you might like.” Stop it, Bill!
And Barbara Eden is 78! These young hos who are a third of her age could never bring the glamour like she can.
Organic beauty collided with natural glamour at the Rockit Masquerade Ball at XL in NYC last night when the world’s first supermess Janice Dickinson touched her collagen-filled labia lips next to fully functional mannequin goddess Amanda Lepore. Janice Dickinson is this generation’s Jane Russell and Amanda Lepore is this generation’s Marilyn Monroe (sorry, LiLo) and so if you watch Gentlemen Prefer Blondes through a crystal, these pictures are what you’ll see. Or is if it you watch Gentlemen Prefer Blondes while high on crystal, these pictures are what you’ll see? I get confused.
The heat from the lights threatened to turn Janice and Mandy into one giant puddle of melted beef jerky, silicone, liquified porcelain, red rubber and candle wax, but they kept thrusting because the show must always go on.
If you want to know what a Jell-O mold looks like in heaven, get on this NSFWBWAYWAAPTFUGBLT (Not Safe For Work But Why Are You Working At A Place That Frowns Upon Glorious Beauty Like This) link to see Mandy’s exquisitely sculpted chest domes.
If you’re serving jury duty in Manhattan this week, and planned to show up looking like Breathless Mahoney at a midnight funeral….then you better change your look pronto! The one and only Amanda Lepore beat you to it! Here’s Amanda reporting for jury duty yesterday morning. The crime rate in NYC is about to reach a fever pitch, because bitches are going to do some illegal shit in hopes that Amanda will throw the glitter-covered book at them.
via Cazwell’s Twitter (Thanks Laura)