The Vogue interns got a brief moment of mercy this year when they found out Anna Wintour wouldn’t be sending them through the wood chipper for seating her next to Pimp Mama Kris. Instead, it’s the 2018 Met Gala co-chair, Amal Clooney, who is making everyone at the Haus of Winter and Tom Ford angrily eat carbs because she didn’t wear a Tom Ford dress on the Met Gala red carpet like they thought she would. Continue reading
The Met Gala isn’t a human and isn’t even alive, and yet, that bitch is still getting more action than me.
The theme for the Met’s costume exhibit is Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and Catholic Imagination, but the dress code for the Gala was “Sunday best.” Now, my Sunday best is a faded black Dollywood t-shirt and some Fruit of the Loom sweat shorts covered with chicharron crumbs, wine splatters and lube drops from snacking, boozing and watching porn on my couch. But I guess “Sunday best” to famous rich hos is a crown that weighs more than their head and all of the fabric found in the “Perfect For Granny’s Living Room Curtains” section at Hobby Lobby.
Back when Amal Clooney was just dating George Clooney, tongues wagged that Angelina Jolie was none too pleased there was another international do-gooder in the George and Brad Pitt pack. Well, years later, Angelina got the boot and is talking trees with THE QUEEN, and Amal is ushering us all into springtime fashion on the May cover of Vogue with an interview. All you need to know has she somehow mandated what her children’s first word was, and the reporter has never heard of a greenhouse. Continue reading
Charitable Angel George Clooney Once Gave 14 Of His Friends Suitcases Filled With $1 Million In Cash
There are two stories about George Clooney’s thoughtful generosity circulating today, including one with the equally-generous Amal Clooney!
George seems like the type of extra-kind friend who would loan you his car so you could drive to the marina and rip around in his boat. Well did you know that George is also the type of friend to dump a suitcase stuffed with 20s in your lap? According to George’s best buddy Rande Gerber, he is.
The only thing Madonna might love more than the fresh blood of greased-up backup dancers is to gyrate around a crucifix and surf on a nun. So Anna Wintour really missed an opportunity by not making the Material Girl the lady priest or co-host or whatever of next year’s Met Gala. Because the theme is honoring Catholic fashion. Instead, it’ll be a “say wha?” trinity with Rihanna, Donatella Versace, and Amal Clooney serving as celebrity co-hosts. Continue reading
On Friday night, Casamigos tequila threw a 70s-themed Halloween party in L.A., and Amal Clooney, Rande Gerber and his wife Cindy Crawford fanned the flames of those swingers rumors by doing themselves up like a bunch of coked-up suburbanites going to a key party. Actually, Amal and Rande look like they’re about to drop their faces onto a pile of the white shit at their neighbor’s key party, while Cindy Crawford looks more like Joan Crawford on a cruise to Rio.
But the real surprise here is Rande Gerber. Like Casamigos tequila, Rande has never done anything for me, but seeing him looking like an oven-roasted off-brand Rob Lowe Ken Doll as a 70s porn mogul makes me feel like I just butt chugged a bottle of Spanish Fly.
Tom + Lorenzo says that surprisingly, Amal’s Studio 54 costume didn’t come out of a plastic bag fished from the clearance costume section at Party City. Amal’s “costume” is a sequined designer gown by Halpern. A sequined Halpern jumpsuit goes for around $2,600, so I’m guessing that Amal’s costume cost about that much. Cheap, I know! It’s a good thing that Amal didn’t spend any real money on her costume, because it probably got ruined when George Clooney showed up to the party and cried out greasy bits of his ego all over it after learning that Suburbicon was going to flop.