Charitable Angel George Clooney Once Gave 14 Of His Friends Suitcases Filled With $1 Million In Cash
There are two stories about George Clooney’s thoughtful generosity circulating today, including one with the equally-generous Amal Clooney!
George seems like the type of extra-kind friend who would loan you his car so you could drive to the marina and rip around in his boat. Well did you know that George is also the type of friend to dump a suitcase stuffed with 20s in your lap? According to George’s best buddy Rande Gerber, he is.
The only thing Madonna might love more than the fresh blood of greased-up backup dancers is to gyrate around a crucifix and surf on a nun. So Anna Wintour really missed an opportunity by not making the Material Girl the lady priest or co-host or whatever of next year’s Met Gala. Because the theme is honoring Catholic fashion. Instead, it’ll be a “say wha?” trinity with Rihanna, Donatella Versace, and Amal Clooney serving as celebrity co-hosts. Continue reading
On Friday night, Casamigos tequila threw a 70s-themed Halloween party in L.A., and Amal Clooney, Rande Gerber and his wife Cindy Crawford fanned the flames of those swingers rumors by doing themselves up like a bunch of coked-up suburbanites going to a key party. Actually, Amal and Rande look like they’re about to drop their faces onto a pile of the white shit at their neighbor’s key party, while Cindy Crawford looks more like Joan Crawford on a cruise to Rio.
But the real surprise here is Rande Gerber. Like Casamigos tequila, Rande has never done anything for me, but seeing him looking like an oven-roasted off-brand Rob Lowe Ken Doll as a 70s porn mogul makes me feel like I just butt chugged a bottle of Spanish Fly.
Tom + Lorenzo says that surprisingly, Amal’s Studio 54 costume didn’t come out of a plastic bag fished from the clearance costume section at Party City. Amal’s “costume” is a sequined designer gown by Halpern. A sequined Halpern jumpsuit goes for around $2,600, so I’m guessing that Amal’s costume cost about that much. Cheap, I know! It’s a good thing that Amal didn’t spend any real money on her costume, because it probably got ruined when George Clooney showed up to the party and cried out greasy bits of his ego all over it after learning that Suburbicon was going to flop.
Ok, so call me crazy, but I’ve never viewed George Clooney as THE leading man in Hollywood. More, like, the sly dude in the corner with Rande Gerber (both wearing matching black button-downs with three undone and well-brushed chest hair in plain sight) raising glasses of tequila at the likes of Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, and Ben Affleck because they can buy and sell them all with that Casamigos coin.
Pilot Inspektor would like a word with you, George Clooney.
George is pushing that Suburbicon flick he directed alongside its star Matt Damon. They sat down with Entertainment Tonight, and George talked about the twins he had with his statuesque global superstar lawyer wife Amal Clooney in June. Clooney explained that they named the twins Alexander and Ella because Jermajesty and Phyllon Gor were already taken. No, it’s because he didn’t want his future put-upon celebrity children to have to deal with the burden of “dumb names.” Ode Mountain, you have every right to be offended after reading this.
I imagine that George Clooney has to put up with people asking stupid questions during a press tour. In exchange for plugging his own projects, he must in turn indulge the media and endure a barrage of questions like “Hey George, do you like toast?” or “Hey George, which shoe do you put on first?” or “Hey George, what does Brad smell like?”
George directed a movie called Suburbicon which comes out in October, so now he has to answer a whole lot of questions about his twins, wife Amal Clooney, and fatherhood. Tit for tat, Georgie boy! Will you deliver the titillating truth bombs or will it be numbingly boring platitudes and bullshit? Remember, your movie’s box office depends on this!