“Ahahahahaha, I’m still laughing over this homely hag playing me in a movie. Hollywood is so weird!” – Tonya Harding in that picture.
About 23 years ago, Tonya Harding was down in out after she lost her figure skating career over her ex-husband and bodyguard hiring some goon to bust out her rival’s kneecap. But look at Tonya now! She’s happy and healthy-looking and standing next to a movie star at the big Hollywood premiere of a movie that would’ve never happened if she stopped her ex-husband and bodyguard from hiring some goon to bust out her rival’s kneecap. Tonya and the movie version of her, Margot Robbie, posed together at last night’s Hollywood premiere of I, Tonya at The Egyptian Theater. Tonya wore a dress from Cabela’s black label collection and Margot wore an off-brand Elvira Hancock from Scarface costume from Big Lots.
I, Tonya is getting a lot of Oscar talk, including some for Margot Robbie, which I don’t know why since Julie Brown gave the only Tonya Harding performance we need. But Allison Janney, who was there last night serving pure glah-moor in a gold-dipped caftan, is getting the most Oscar talk. As of now, it looks like the Best Supporting Actress Oscar race is down to her for playing Tonya’s abusive monster of a mom and Laurie Metcalf for Lady Bird. I hope that Allison picked up her caftan and ran off when Tonya whispered in her ear last night, “So, Al, I hear the Oscur is down to you and your rival Aunt Jackie. You know I know I guy….”
After months of getting just the sequin-and-chiffon tip of what kind of beautiful depiction or trainwreck attempt Margot Robie would do to the Tonya Harding empire, the official trailer for “I, Tonya” has dropped, and it is GLORIOUS Academy Award material. If you’re Allison Janney. Continue reading
Because the voting fingers of Oscar voters get a hard-on for gorgeous actresses who homely themselves up for a role, Margot Robbie has been getting Best Actress buzz (yes, I too hate myself for typing “Best Actress buzz”) for playing Oregon rose Tonya Harding in I, Tonya. And the first teaser trailer was released today. On a scale of YES!!!! to WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??!, the trailer is a little closer to the former for me.
Attention enthusiasts know that the Emmys are a tasteful affair; you’ve got to balance out your ass with some class. Thankfully, Ariel Winter showed everyone last night how to do it. Ariel came in a dress by Steven Khalil featuring not one, but two crotch-high leg slits. Angelina, who? I’m sure her dress was very expensive, so for those of you hoping to find the look for less, I would probably suggest Craigslist the day after the next AVN awards.
Before we fully get into the river of depressing smegma that this news week will probably bring, let’s raise a wig and celebrate some happy news: RuPaul finally got his hands around his first Emmy after being in the TV game for eons. HalleluRu!
If award shows always got it right, Ru would’ve gotten his first Emmy in the 90s for Best And Most Glamorous Talk Show host for Vh1’s The RuPaul Show. But since award shows mostly never get it right, that didn’t happen. It only took 20 years, but the title “Emmy-winning RuPaul” is finally a fact.
American Treasure Betty White Won A People’s Choice Award And Was Escorted To The Stage By Captain America
I’m sure my 94-year-old neighbor Mrs. Lee saw this tender moment between Betty White and Chris Evans at the 2015 People’s Choice Awards and was like “Oh, that Spider Man – such a gentleman” (because everyone is Spider Man to grandma types).
Because I stopped giving my brain exercise a long time ago, I watched the People’s Choice Awards last night. Or at least as much as my brain could handle, till it began screaming “ENOUGH!!!” and made me change the channel to something more mentally stimulating, like Pick A Puppy. But what I did see was 93-year-old life legend and sassy lil’ slice of lemon meringue pie Betty White accepting the award for Favorite TV Icon (how kind of Bruce Jenner to decline the award and give it to the next in line). Of course, an icon like Betty should never walk anywhere without a hot entourage, so hot hottie Chris Evans popped out of his seat and escorted her to the stage. Not shown: what I assume was at least 50 other dudes behind him fighting over the privilege of offering their arm to one of the Golden Girls.
But it wasn’t all about Betty. How rude, I know. Other people took home awards too, including 2014’s version of Jenna Elfman Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting for Favorite Comedic TV Actress, The Big Bang Theory for Favorite TV Show and Favorite Network TV Comedy, Melissa & Joey for Favorite Cable TV Comedy (wait, WHAT?), Tay Tay Swift and her BFF Ed Sheeran as Favorite Female and Male Artist, and Maleficent for Favorite Movie. Unfortunately, Angelina Jolie couldn’t be there in person to accept her award, because she was too busy working miracles for the Pope in Italy. You can see the whole list of winners is here, if you need that in your life.
Sadly, Betty didn’t walk the red carpet before or after the show (probably because a true icon gives the poor 2s and 3s of the world a moment in the spotlight every once in a while), but everyone else did, so here’s all the famous types from the People’s Choice awards, including Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting wearing some kind of sheer-paneled classy/slutty jumpsuit culottes thing, Anna Faris looking like a fancy Vegas bride, and Kat Dennings working that A+ goth brothel madame game: