Don’t worry, guys. Anthony Scaramucci is doing just fine. He’s doing better than fine, in fact. The President’s shortest-lived (and probably shortest-limbed) mouthpiece got out while the getting was good. He’s back with his wife and has added celebrity restaurateur to his resume. So, if you’re looking for a place to host a “singles” event where, according to Page Six, “sugar daddies” can “hook up with pliant young women seeking ‘arrangements’”, The Mooch can help! Just come on over to Tony’s Hunt & Fish Club in Manhattan and find you a hot young piece at bargain prices! Bada bing!
Her ex may be getting out there pitching woo under the guise of William “leathers” Bradley, but People reports that Angelina Jolie prefers the joy of her own company and isn’t ready to date yet. And despite what VP Mike Pence thinks, a man and a woman can share a meal without without swapping body fluids, so Angelina and Chris Hemsworth sitting together at the Golden Globes has no bearing on her relationship status. The fact is that while she may be single, mingling is the last thing on her mind.
Angelina Jolie wants so badly to be likeable, carefree and fun. Too bad being Angelina Jolie makes all that nearly impossible. While promoting her latest Debbie Downer of a film First They Killed My Father, Angie has been reluctantly giving interviews. As we know, long gone is the fun and flirty Angie who once famously made out with her brother on the red carpet and carried a vial of her (second ex) husband’s blood around her neck. Today’s Angie can’t even buy her kids a hot dog without being followed around by a sad trombone.