There were some real upside down and sideways looks on display at the The Council of Fashion Designers of America awards in NYC last night. Most notably Whoopi Goldberg giving us Little Bo Peep who lost her sheep and was forced to go to the big city and take out a bank loan for more, wearing her best Big Business suit. The added bonus of that suit is that those giant bell bottoms probably ring so damn loud, the sheep should have no problem finding their way back home.
Other notable looks included: Cate Blanchett‘s tuxedo/ baked potato/ butcher’s apron combo, and the night’s host Issa Rae’s belt that read “Every Nigga Is A Star”. All of those looks and more are in the gallery but for now, we’ve got plenty of high fashion to keep us in “what is going on here”s for a week.
The Billboard Music Awards were last night and if the red carpet is any indication, it lived up to it’s name because most stars looked as bored as can be. With very few exceptions, most of the night’s looks were uninspired and devoid of whimsy. Nick Jonas (above) looks like he just showed up for his shift at Applebees and still needs to go get his flair from his locker and take a quick shot at the bar before getting started. He’ll be with you in a minute, ok?
Last night, Alison Brie, Alison’s husband Dave Franco, and Dave’s brother James Franco all attended the SAG Awards in Los Angeles. James skipped the red carpet, but someone from the family had to take on the thankless job of fielding all the awkward questions about him on the red carpet. That honor fell on Alison. A choice that I’m sure was made democratically by drawing straws in the limo on the ride over, and not because James didn’t want to risk his damage control being delivered as “Yo, man, the allegations are, like…very un-rad, dude.”
Hollywood decided to wear black at the Golden Globes last Sunday night in silent protest of the industry’s sexual assault problem. But four days later, most Hollywood people at the Critics’ Choice Awards went with color.
Kate Bosworth didn’t wear color, but she did wear a mess. Kate is wearing a dress by Brock Collection, but if I hadn’t been told who made her dress, I’d assume she went into a formal event showroom on a particularly dry day, collected too much static electricity while trying on a bridal gown with her socks on, and accidentally left the store with a child’s christening gown that was stuck to her. The best part is that the fun didn’t end when Kate turned around.
After being engaged for what felt like forever (2015, truly simpler times), Dave Franco and Alison Brie have gotten married. Dave and Alison seem kind of private, so it’s not like they were going to leap onto the cover of People with a headline screaming “OUR MARRIAGE JOY! 14-picture wedding album inside.” No, instead reps for Dave and Alison simply confirmed that they got married and that’s it.
Dave talked about their future marriage to Entertainment Tonight last June, and he made it seem like neither of them are big on wedding traditions or formality. They’re both sort of goofy people as well, so I really want to believe that Dave showed up to his wedding shirtless and covered in oil, and Alison walked down the aisle in a white lace version of her GLOW leotard.
But what’s really important is the role Dave’s brother James Franco played in the wedding. I’m sure that while Dave and Alison were casually shrugging about their wedding (“Crab puffs? Eh, sure“), James had a 30-point plan of high-art attention-grabbing and spotlight-stealing. Did James slip the wedding officiant a greasy $100 and perform the ceremony in Tommy Wiseau drag? Did James sing a trap version of At Last as a character called Etta James Franco? I’m sure we’ll have all those answers and more at the premiere of James’ next experimental art film, Wedding Cake Fuckers (Yes I Tried to Fuck the Cake).
I almost watched the People’s Choice Awards last night, because there’s something about seeing the few A-listers there making faces that say, “I really need to fire my goddamn publicist for making me go to this shit,” while surrounded by extras from The CW shows and shameless spotlight humpers (see: Frankie Grande). But I shat on that thought and decided to watch the condensation on my water glass for 2 hours instead.
Besides attention whore flamingo Frankie Grande showing up looking like a Great Value version of Caesar Flickman from The Hunger Games (more like The Thirst Games), other stuff actually happened. Sensitive thumb Vin Diesel cooed out another musical tribute to Paul Walker and Melanie Griffith’s daughter made a joke about her tits. But the moment that really made the rounds was the sad re-creation of Kanye West’s “Imma let you finish…” stunt.