Category: Alicia Keys

Alicia Keys Will HostThe 2019 Grammy Awards

January 15, 2019 / Posted by:

I have not been keeping up with Alicia Keys. Last time I clocked her, she was on Empire, sitting at a white piano wailing about a post-racial society. On Empire! Then I stopped watching Empire so I have no idea what she’s up to these days. Turns out that besides cosplaying as the lovechild of Carmen Sandiego and Hamburglar, and ceremonially burning fake-eyelashes in her hearth, the 15-time Grammy award winner is going to host the 2019 Grammy Awards next month. And according to USA Today, she’ll be the first woman to do so in 14 years since Queen Latifah hosted in 2005. In case you’re scratching your head like me trying to remember who the fuck else has hosted the Grammys, I can tell you that they went hostless from 2006 – 2011. Then LL Cool J hosted from 2012 to 2016, and James Corden did it in 2017 and 2018.

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The Tax Man Claims Aretha Franklin’s Estate Owes Millions

December 28, 2018 / Posted by:

The Queen of Soul may have also been the Queen of Debt. Aretha Franklin died in August, and she obviously left behind a legacy of music. The tax man has a different way of remembering Aretha. The IRS now claims Queen Aretha owes millions in back taxes, and let’s just hope a planned tribute concert will put a dent in that pile of debt. Continue reading

Open Post: Hosted By Diddy’s Luscious Farrah Fawcett Wig

September 6, 2016 / Posted by:

The 35th anniversary of the birth of Beysus (I’ll pause here for all of us shady bitches who need to throw a side-eye at “35“) was on Sunday and she celebrated Beymas all weekend long. Beyonce and Blue Ivy Carter spent Friday with Michelle Obama at Camp David, Chance The Rapper serenaded her at the Made In America festival in Philadelphia on her actual born day, and last night she threw herself a giant Soul Train-themed party in NYC. A zillion famous tricks went to Beyonce’s party, including Puffy whose puffy b-hole probably screamed out a YES when he got the invitation, because he finally had a reason to wear that $3 swap meet-bought Vinnie Barbarino wig.

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Alicia Keys Went SANS FARDS(ish) Again Last Night

August 29, 2016 / Posted by:

MTV was really taking a risk by having everyone walk into the VMAs on a white carpet instead of a red one. It was an award show shot in HD, which means it wasn’t a shock to see some people strolling in with their faces covered in a 1/4 inch thick layer of foundation, concealer, powder, the shadow from 6 Morphe eye palettes, 18oz of lipstick, and an entire bottle of setting spray. There’s no way MTV would have gotten their damage deposit back if someone like Kim Kardashian were to trip and land face-first on that carpet. If Kim left a makeup imprint of her face on that carpet, you know the first thing she would have done was had it sent to her mom’s house with a note that said: “Possible $$$ opportunity. Call the rug from Aladdin and set up a camera.

Thankfully MTV didn’t have to worry about any of that when Alicia Keys hit the white carpet, because her face was au naturel….kind of.

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Alicia Keys Went SANS FARDS On The BET Awards Red Carpet

June 27, 2016 / Posted by:

During a recent Lenny Letter essay titled Time to Uncover, Alicia Keys wrote about how she was taking a break from makeup because she didn’t “want to cover up anymore.” Alicia is clearly very serious about the whole #nomakeup thing, because last night she sashayed onto the red carpet of the BET Awards in a face covered in nothing.

Alicia is one of the very lucky few who can do #nomakeup and still look like a human person. Her skin/eyes/mouth/eyebrows all look like what they’re supposed to. When I do no makeup, I look like something from a remake of Eraserhead by Harmony Korine. My mouth looks like a Biggest Loser before-and after of an awkward pink slug. My eyes like two puffy slits with creepy little see-through lashes. The two patchy hairlike skidmarks above my eyes that can barely be classified as eyebrows (my eyebrows truly bring shame to the Dlisted family). So, good for you for going without makeup, Alicia. And if she really wants to make it a permanent thing, I would volunteer to take any and all makeup she decides to get rid of. I very clearly need it.

Alicia also carried the low-maintenance theme into her ensemble as well.

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