Category: Ali Lohan
Open Post: Hosted By Lindsay Lohan Showing Off Her Baby Bump
In great news for all parents innocently walking the streets of Moscow with their children, Lindsay Lohan announced last month that she and her husband, Bader Shammas, were expecting a child of their own. LiLo’s family and friends recently threw the first-time mom a baby shower and she shared a snap of her growing fire-bump!
Lindsay Lohan May Or May Not Have A Boyfriend
I had to do a deep dive into the saga of Lindsay Lohan to figure out where we are on her timeline. I remembered the important shit: the instantly iconic Mykonos dance, reality show, cancellation of both show and club, attempted abduction of refugee children, and all that Masked Singer Australia drama. But I totally forgot she’s (allegedly) got a new album coming out at the end of the month. And recently announced a return to America!
That pretty much brings us up to today, when this important story broke: LINDSAY LOHAN HAS A BOYFRIEND…MAYBE! I know. You’ll never forget where you were when you heard the news. And as far as we know, this possible new man isn’t a Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia who has been accused of ordering the murder of a journalist. She’s growing!
Cody Simpson Threw A Little Dig At Miley Cyrus’ Exes While Lindsay Lohan Threw A Major Dig At Him
Cody Simpson and Miley Cyrus have been having a ball together. They’re maybe living together, getting tattooed together, he cured her of her fear of men/lesbianism, and they’re both sober people who spend time listening to the Earth and making out. They’re doing their thing and it’s soooooooo romantic! Cody is now suggesting that he’s the most romantic relationship Miley’s been in and that previous ones were not. At the same time, Lindsay Lohan has inserted herself into this drama with claims of stolen furniture because apparently Cody dated her sister Ali Lohan and they lived together for a week? I mean… sure. Why not?
Lindsay Lohan Says She’s Working On A New TV Show
Lindsay Lohan‘s last reality television project, Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club was a complete disaster and totally tanked and her beach club also closed. Well, just because her last show was cancelled, doesn’t mean that she’s going to stop. You knock Lindsay down once, she gets up twice! …That’s because she also fell down once before on just her own actions, but still!
MTV Has Released The First Teaser Trailer For Lindsay Lohan’s Reality Show
MTV released the first teaser trailer for Lindsay Lohan’s upcoming reality series, Lohan Beach Club. I can’t believe all those people in the background, reading their phones and acting like they don’t care about the reality TV history being made around them.
Lindsay Lohan Says She’s Converting To Islam
“Sorry Islam, looks like she’s your problem now” said the Catholic church, Kabbalah, Buddhism, and any other religions Lindsay Lohan has dabbled in.
Last year, LiLo was seen carrying a copy of the Koran, aka the holy book of the Islamic religion. Nobody knew where it came from (one of her Middle Eastern “friends“) or what she was going to do with it (scrape all the ink off the front with a dull knife and mail it to Cash4Gold). But since she was also Instagramming incorrectly translated English-to-Arabic banalities around the same time, the most logical conclusion was that she was converting.
Well, she recently spoke to The Sun and it turns out that yes, she’s trying to do the Muslim thing now. Lindsay was raised Catholic, but has since dipped her freckled toe into a variety of religious ponds. And right now, it’s Islam’s turn to hide the good silverware.
“I’m a very spiritual person and I’m really open to learning. We all believe in something and at the end of the day it all ties to a god or a spiritual adviser. We all have a similar belief in whatever it may be personally.”
Lindsay may be open to learning, but it sounds like she can’t seem to find the time to open that Koran she was papped with.
“I’m not done reading it. Do you know how long that would take? It takes so long.”
Since I’m still working on a copy of Charlotte’s Web from the 3rd grade (Wilbur and Charlotte live happily ever after, right?), I’m in no position to judge how long it takes anyone to read anything. But a year seems like a long time for something you’re supposedly super into, right? I’m sure if it was a copy of How To Bag A Rich Russian Husband, she would have been finished in under 10 minutes.
But if I were Islam, I wouldn’t be making a space for LiLo’s picture between Janet Jackson and Dr. Oz on the Celebrity Muslim Wall. Once she discovers how difficult it is to Photoshop your waist while wearing a burqa, she’ll be gone.
Here’s Islam’s newest aspiring convert in New York a few days ago with Ali Lohan and her fiancé Egor Tarabasov.
Pics: Splash