Alec Baldwin may be rich, a frequent tuxedo wearer, and have a history of facing off with strangers on the streets of New York, but he won’t be playing Batman’s dead dad in an upcoming film about The Joker. A few days ago it was reported that Alec would appear opposite Joaquin Phoenix in Todd Phillip’s origin story about The Joker, as Bruce Wayne’s father Dr. Thomas Wayne. Sources were extremely sure that Alec had been cast in Joker, and it seemed all that was left was for Alec to confirm the news himself. But he tweeted that it’s not happening.
In the origin story of Batman, a young Bruce Wayne decides to fight crime in disguise after witnessing the murder of his parents Thomas and Martha Wayne. I don’t know if part of Bruce Wayne’s origin story includes receiving an angry phone call from his dad calling him a rude, thoughtless little bat. But in the event he did, then the best casting decision of the year was just made. Variety says that Alec Baldwin will play Dr. Thomas Wayne in Joaquin Phoenix’s upcoming standalone film about The Joker.
Joaquin’s Joker movie, which still doesn’t have a title, is set to begin filming in September on a budget of $55 million. Since Joaquin’s Joker movie is a prequel/origin story, it takes place before The Joker is The Joker, which means we’re also dealing with a pre-Batman Bruce Wayne and Thomas Wayne, who is a Gotham doctor and philanthropist.
As for the rest of the cast, Variety says that director Todd Phillips will be working with Robert De Niro, who will be playing a talk show host that partly contributes to The Joker’s insanity. Zazie Beetz and Marc Maron will also appear, although it’s unknown who they’ll be playing.
Alec’s involvement also feels a bit like a six-degrees situation. Alec was married to Kim Basinger, who appeared in the 1989 movie Batman, which also featured an origin story for The Joker. It also featured the death of Batman’s parents too. Except this time around, whoever kills Bruce Wayne’s dad has a real job ahead of them. It’s Alec Baldwin: even with all the thespian strength in the world, there’s no way Alec will be able to tackle a street confrontation without hissing something offensive or threatening to get in their face.
How kind of her. People reports that Alec Baldwin‘s wife and unecessary public yoga poses activist Hilaria Baldwin wanted to help the rest of the moms out there who want to look way tight and all right after excreting a human being. Her idea? A lingerie selfie to “inspire feeding and exercising your body right!” Where you see a “selfie,” Hilarious sees a “selfless.” Or something. Girl, stop.
We’ve got a little problem as a country (nay, world) because the President of The United States is an ego driven narcissist prone to fits of rage. Maybe that’s part of the reason it’s so easy for Alec Baldwin to channel him on Saturday Night Live. It’s not method acting if you’re just playing a marginally less attractive (ok, I will give Alec his due; significantly less attractive), conservative version of yourself. Just as we don’t enjoy having Donald Trump as president, neither would we enjoy having Alec Baldwin as president. But this fool thinks it would be cute. Alec appeared on The Howard Stern Show and boasted that if he ran for president against Donny in 2020, he would totally win.
While promoting his upcoming “lengthy discussion” show, Alec Baldwin said in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter that every time he has to strap in and channel Donald Trump for Saturday Light Live “it’s like agony”. I’ll give you one guess to figure out who got really riled up by that and #tooktotwitter to throw a world class hissy fit. WRONG! Barbra Streisand is not the correct answer, what the fuck is wrong with you? It was Donald Trump himself!
If you’re anything like me, Sunday nights already fill you with a creeping sense of dread accompanied by a lingering film of anxiety and malaise. So when ABC announced that it just picked up 8 episodes of Sundays With Alec, an hour long interview show modeled after Alec Baldwin‘s podcast with a premiere to be aired immediately following the Academy Awards, I just went ahead and slit my wrists preemptively. I’m a ghost now and frankly, I think it’s for the best.