ConDRAGulations! RuPaul Finally Won An Emmy!

Before we fully get into the river of depressing smegma that this news week will probably bring, let’s raise a wig and celebrate some happy news: RuPaul finally got his hands around his first Emmy after being in the TV game for eons. HalleluRu!

If award shows always got it right, Ru would’ve gotten his first Emmy in the 90s for Best And Most Glamorous Talk Show host for Vh1’s The RuPaul Show. But since award shows mostly never get it right, that didn’t happen. It only took 20 years, but the title “Emmy-winning RuPaul” is finally a fact.

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The Chenbot Admits She Got Eyelid Surgery To Look Less Chinese

Anybody who has seen old pictures of Julie Chen knows that her face was tucked, rotated, plucked, snipped, pulled and covered with an extra thick coat of candle wax and matte shellac. On The Talk yesterday, the Chenbot admitted what everyone has known for years: she’s had plastic surgery before. But the Chenbot said that she only went under a plastic surgeon’s scalpel because a producer and an agent told her she looked too Chinese to get ahead. I fully expect Aaryn Gries’ mother to issue a 500-word statement about this.

As part of “secret week” on The Talk, Julie spilled the truth about her face. She said that when she was a 25-year-old local news reporter at an ABC affiliate in Dayton, OH, she tried to get ahead by asking her news director if she could ever fill in at the anchor desk. Julie’s news director, who I’m guessing is Aaryn’s uncle, told her she would never sit at the anchor desk because she’s Chinese. He said that there’s barely any Chinese people in Dayton, so she’s not relatable at all to the community. He also told her that her Asian eyes made her look bored and disinterested.

The Chenbot wanted to get away from that news director and move to another station, so she met with some huge agent. The agent basically told her the same thing. He told her that the only way he’d represent her is if she got plastic surgery to make her eyes bigger, so she did it. Right after the Chenbot did what tons of Korean girls have done, her career started to take off. The Chenbot says that she sometimes feels guilty for “giving in to the man,” which made Sheryl “I Hate My Nappy Hair” Underwood say, “You didn’t give in to the man, Julie, because you don’t know about giving in to the man.” Translation: You can’t say that, because you’re not black, bitch. Whatever, the fuckery that comes out of Sheryl Underwood’s mouth is a discussion for another day.

Julie then said that she’s proud to be Chinese and she has no regrets about getting her eyelids cut and pulled. Here’s the clip and I love it only for Aisha Tyler saying everything with a side-eye.

So Julie basically said that getting eyelid surgery helped her career and started it all for her. Okay, but getting an extra large Bumpit surgically implanted into her skull and marrying Les Moonves also turned her into the world famous Chenbot she is today.