Have you ever been to the airport and things didn’t go as smoothly as you’d hoped? Yes? Me too! Oh my god, we have so much to talk about! Don’t you just hate it when you’re flying first class and your flight’s delayed and the gate agent won’t let your enormous carry-on have its own seat but lets other ECONOMY people on the plane with their carry-on bags that actually do fit in the little sizer thing? All because they either hate women or your TV show for which you get paid $450,000 per episode? What are you supposed to do, check your precious bag like a commoner? It’s so unfair, isn’t it? I don’t know about you but I can super relate to the plight endured by Mayim Bialik at the hands of her oppressor, United Airlines, as she tried to make a connecting flight to Houston.
Nyle Dimarco, a stalwart and articulate advocate for the deaf community, was on a Delta flight and was surprised to find a gate employee waiting for him a wheelchair. Nyle is a perfectly bodied man, I mean perfectly able-bodied man who never seems to skip leg day at the gym. I know this because fairly recently (I’d say sometime around when Nyle won Cycle 22 of America’s Next Top Model) I have found myself spending a portion of my busy day looking at Nyle’s Instagram page. Believe me, his legs are foine. I mean fine. What I mean to say is, his legs work just fine.
If the name Gretchen Wilson isn’t ringing any bells, then you maybe didn’t live in the kind of town where “Redneck Woman” was blasted at every wedding, prom, tailgate, family bonfire, or jail-release celebration. But after today, you’ll know Gretchen Wilson as the country singer who proved she wasn’t exactly lying about being trashy n’ proud when she got arrested during an airplane bathroom fight on Tuesday. As someone who has heard Gretchen Wilson provide the soundtrack to many a truck-based gathering, I’m a little shocked that this fight happened in the bathroom of an airplane and not a Walmart. Not very on-brand for Gretchen.
United Is In Another Shit Storm After A Flight Attendant Told A Passenger To Put Her Dog In The Overhead Bin
You may have already read the tragic story about the puppy who died a slow, dark death in an overhead bin on a United Airlines flight, and if you have, I apologize for bringing it up again and causing your heart to break and trickle down your body and out of your ass. If you haven’t read this story, then I apologize for bringing it up and causing your heart to break and trickle down your body and out of your ass. This is the kind of awful story where what should be the palate cleanser (read: a picture of an adorable puppy) is actually what’s bringing on the sadness in major doses.
During my dog’s 15 years of life, I’ve traveled with him on a plane at least a dozen times. I’ve never really had any major issues, except for my nerves splitting while subliminally saying to him, “Please don’t diarrhea in your carrier, please don’t diarrhea in your carrier…” But Catalina Robledo and her family had the worst thing happened to them when a United flight attendant told her to put their dog in an overhead bin. That overhead bin ended up becoming the dog’s coffin. I told you this story was the worst.
A Woman Claimed Spirit Airlines Suggested She Flush Her Emotional Support Hamster Down The Toilet… So She Did
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to honor the short life of Pebbles the dwarf hamster. Pebbles was a good girl, selflessly providing emotional support, fuzzle wuzzles, boopy smooches and whisker nuzzles to her “caregiver” Belen Aldescea. Sadly, according to The Miami Herald, Pebbles’ life was cut short when she was denied entrance to a Spirit Airlines flight from Baltimore to Fort Lauderdale. Pebbles, who selflessly dedicated herself to a life of service, was unceremoniously flushed down the toilet by the very person she had sworn to protect comfort for all of her days; Belen herself.
Stars, they’re just like us! They too can arrive at the airport expecting a simple flight, only to find themselves questioning the existence of Satan while languishing for hours in a soul-rattling airline hell. That’s what recently happened to Chrissy Teigen and John Legend, except they got to suffer in First Class.