Freddie Prinze Jr. is returning to television for the latest reboot (I know, I know, but it’s not like it’s The Facts Of Life) of Nancy Drew. Will 43-year-old Freddie be playing the teenage sleuth Nancy’s accomplice, nemesis or potential love interest? NO! He’s playing Nancy’s dad! It’s ok to cry. Time is happening to all of us. File this under: YOU’RE OLD.
It was bad enough to feel solidly over the cusp of middle age when the teenage lads from One Direction broke up (or went on an indefinite hiatus, if you are a glass half full kind of Directioner). Then some of the boys started popping out babies and I felt down right Social Security recipient old. This morning I feel like the Cryptkeeper took a dump on my head with the news that Naomi Campbell and Liam Payne flirted. Yes, supermodel and professional phone thrower Naomi Campbell, age 48 and Liam Payne, 25 were flirting on Instagram so that 100% confirms that they are practically married already.
I thought that the Pussy Posse was a closed, Founding Members only type of club, but it looks like they are seeking new members. The good news for Jake Gyllenhaal is that his temporary card has arrived just in time for Christmas! Jake has finally met the final – most important- criteria in securing his place on next year’s Ibiza PP yacht trip. It’s been reported that 38-year-old Jake has been dating 22-year-old model Jeanne Cadieu since June. Slow claps from the Poop Deck from Leo DiCaprio and his main-man boo Lukas Haas, as Jake wipes a tear from his eye and slowly steps aboard the S.S. Under 25-Year-Old Chicks Only. Today is a beautiful day for the May-December romance.
Sad news today from The Netherlands for Tinder users who feel slightly guilty when they lie about their age. A Dutch court has just ruled that citizens may not legally change their age, but are still free to say and act however old they feel on the inside. Last month, Dutch politician and self proclaimed “positivity guru”, Emile Ratelband, requested that his local government allow him to officially have his “born age” (69) amended to match his “spiritual age” (49), using the argument that people can change their name and gender, so why not their age? The court was not moved by his logic.
Men have a very narrow window in which they can get a fair shake in life. They’re at the peak of their powers between the ages 40 and 60. Any man below the age of 40 isn’t taken seriously, and sadly, any man over the age of 60 is practically invisible. It’s not fair, and it’s not right, but it just is. And has been for centuries. Well, one man is saying no more!