Category: Afternoon Crumbs

Afternoon Crumbs

January 26, 2018 / Posted by:

The first picture of Brie Larson in Captain Marvel drag is out there and well… I can’t wait for the scene in the movie where Captain Marvel stops fighting evil for a second to slip into a strip mall Supercuts and ask for The Rachel  – Lainey Gossip

And excuse me while I redirect my rays of jealousy from Meghan Markle to rhinos in Botswana – Celebitchy

Kenya Moore is taking a break from her acting role as “wife” on Real Housewives of Atlanta to do another acting role in some secret project. Did Life Twirls On finally twirl out of its grave and is getting a new life? – Reality Tea

Burger King explained net neutrality in a way that most of us can understand: with burgers – Towleroad

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Afternoon Crumbs

January 24, 2018 / Posted by:

Meryl Streep has joined the second season of Big Little Lies as Alexander Skarsgard’s mother and Nicole Kidman’s mother-in-law. In related news, a dump truck full of Emmys just backed up onto Meryl Streep’s front yard and dumped all the trophies on her lawn. The Emmys people probably figured that they should just get the inevitable out of the way – Just Jared

Speaking of extra chunky Emmys bait, CBS has announced that they have ordered 13 episodes of a Murphy Brown revival for the 2018-19 season and Candice Bergen will star in it. So later this year, expect for Trump to tweet about how some failing news anchor he’s never heard of (Murphy Brown) is spreading fake news about him on a failing show he’s never heard of (FYI) – SOW

Jason Momoa wasn’t alive in the 19th century and he was never a circus roadie, but he’s still the hottest 19th century circus roadie I’ve ever seen – Lainey Gossip 

I can practically feel the eye rolls that Kim Kartrashian and Kanye West’s staff of nannies busted out while reading this – Celebitchy

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Afternoon Crumbs

January 19, 2018 / Posted by:

My yankees hat looks very cool in the background in black and white.

A post shared by Nick Jonas (@nickjonas) on

Thirst trap and gay baiter extraordinaire Nick Jonas is at it again. But judging by his stage 8 constipation face, he should be holding some MiraLAX, not his iPhone – Lainey Gossip 

Why were goats skinned to make Lady Gaga’s hideous coat, when the designer could’ve just went to a dumpster behind The Jim Henson Company and fished out a few rejected pink Muppet puppets? The end result would’ve looked better too – Celebitchy

It’s obvious that Brandi Glanville is just slapping at Gerald Butler for attention, but still, she shouldn’t take it so personally that he really didn’t remember her. There’s not a memory chip big enough to hold the names of every piece Gerald Butler has fucked   – Reality Tea

Never mind the fact that Antonio Sabato Jr. has no real political experience and is dumber than the stretched out elastic waistband on a pair of Calvin Klein underwear, some conservatives don’t want him to run for Congress because he played gay in movies – Towleroad

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Afternoon Crumbs

January 15, 2018 / Posted by:

In case you haven’t heard the story about the alleged drunk driver (and future Fast and Furious stuntman) who hit a center divider and went airborne, crashing into the second floor of a dentist’s office in Santa Ana, CA, here you go. That picture is hard to look at because it’s a visual metaphor on how it feels to get ass fucked by a fat peen when you use spit instead of lube – Pajiba

We’re living in a country where fucking Paddington Bear beat Cookie Lyon at the box office! – Lainey Gossip 

It’s kind of difficult to look at Tom Hiddleston’s untamed hobo beard while Maisie Williams’ disco sailor pants and Eddie Redmayne’s knock-off Paddington coat are attacking my eyes with their ugliness – Celebitchy

Is that a cackle from Tamra Judge I hear? – Reality Tea

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Afternoon Crumbs

January 2, 2018 / Posted by:

Chris Zylka (from The Leftovers) became Parasite Hilton’s latest fiancé when he proposed to her in Aspen with a $2 million diamond ring. Either that “$2 million diamond ring” is really a $2 glass ring from the sale section at Charming Charlie or Parasite upped her boy toy’s allowance so he could buy it. No matter the case, that ring is busted ugly and looks like a giant bedazzled roach. You may say that having a roach engagement ring is fitting for Parasite, but it’s really not. Roaches will be around forever while Parasite’s latest engagement will last about as long as a herp outbreak. And I’m being generous  – Just Jared

Everybody got engaged over New Year’s… Well, everybody except for Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez. They probably haven’t gotten engaged yet because she’s still working out her wedding finger to make sure it’s strong enough to hold the 45,000 carat diamond ring she’s going to make him buy her – Lainey Gossip

And while I got engaged to several bottles of vodka during the New Year’s holiday, Alexa Ray Joel got engaged to a human man – Celebitchy

Now I know why today’s HSOTD jumped that cop – Boy Culture

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Afternoon Crumbs

December 29, 2017 / Posted by:

After getting arrested for public drunkenness, resisting arrest and allegedly threatening to kill everyone, Luann de Lesseps of The Real Housewives of New York City has announced that she’s going off to rehab to get help. Well, if Luanne is sobering up and planning not to drink anymore, I guess that means she’s off the show. Because it’s nearly impossible to stay sober while partying with Ramona Singer. Even standing next to Ramona causes a trick to get secondhand wasted – Reality Tea 

Taylor Swift’s boyfriend is probably going to spend New Year’s Eve with her, and he’s probably contractually obligated to wear an I Heart T.S. knitted sweater to her party  – Lainey Gossip

Billy Idol might be a kitten killer – Celebitchy

Roseanne praised Trump for being a fighter of pedos and anti-Semites, which makes sense since you know, Trump endorsed an alleged pedo anti-Semite – Towleroad

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