Adrian Grenier is so not enjoying that delicious-looking strawberry cocktail. Adrian is hate-sucking on that straw, because straws are the devil’s long plastic dick!
Adrian is the television version of Leonardo DiCatchAHo, because it seems like his (gigantic) peen is a nomad who never wants to settle down in one poon AND he really cares about the environment. Adrian co-founded the Lonely Whale Foundation, which exists to educate people on ocean animals. Adrian’s foundation did some exhibit for Refinery29 in Brooklyn for Fashion Week. The Cut talked to Adrian at popular restaurant Roberta’s in Bushwick, and when he opens up his mind to you, hold onto something tight, because he will take you on a hilarious insane ride through his acid-laced thoughts. Most of the quotes that were squirted out of Adrian’s brain read like something a Portlandia writer would write before scratching it out and saying, “Naw, that’s TOO crazy.”
It’s been claimed that the lone hindrance to my complete appreciation of The Devil Wears Prada, Adrian Grenier, is way hung. He has now confirmed it. I’ll wait while the thirstier among you utilize Google Images to find some VPLs of Adrian Grand Marnier.
Courtney Robertson, the star fucker and resident crazy bitch on Ben Flajnik’s season of The Bachelor, has a book about her life out called “I Didn’t Come Here To Make Friends: Confessions of a Reality Show Villain!” and she must know that nobody cares about her stupid life and the only way to sell her book is to write about all the Z-listers and C-listers she’s gotten naked with. E! News says that some of her book is filled with crap nobody has ever wanted to know (example: she finger banged herself while watching Dawson’s Creek), but it’s also filled with stuff that’s relevant to some of our interests. Courtney writes about the peens of famous dudes.
Before we get into Adrian’s huge dick and 70s pube afro, Courtney says that she also got naked with Jesse Metcalfe, and she didn’t tell us if his peen is as impressive as his huge tits, but she did tell us that he was a drunk and drug addict at the time and the sex was just average. Courtney also got with Laura Jeanne Poon’s husband before he was Laura Jeanne Poon’s husband (yes, Courtney’s cooch really reaches for the stars) and then she got into Adrian Grenier. Courtney says that never did sex with Adrian Grenier, but she did see his Snuffleupagus dick and it’s the biggest thing her eyes have ever seen.
According to the book, they met at an A-List mansion party; she writes that they bonded over a “mutual loneliness in LA,” yet she didn’t feel a spark. She did, however, feel a fondness for hooking up with him and claimed/bragged/overshared, “He had the biggest penis I’d ever seen—and the biggest bush!”
The TV personality claims they never had “actual sex” in the six years the Entourage star (Vincent Chase)d her and he is still in hot pursuit, booty-call texting her to this day. According to the book, the last time her wrote her, he asked, “Are you still on that show?”
If your nostrils are twitching, you might be thinking about that not-so-blind item that claimed that Adrian Grenier’s got a huge, hairy, smelly one.
This Courtney mess needs to be more specific. I mean, if Pamela Anderson told me that Adrian Grenier has a big dick, I’d know his dick was so big that he has to wrap it around his right thigh or it’ll drag on the floor. Because Pamela knows her big dicks. But how do I know that all the dudes Courtney’s been with have small ones and a 6 incher is a Goliath to her? This is nothing but a “Hi-Res pics of GTFO” situation. And it’s obvious that Adrian’s shag rug matches his shag drapes. If you go down on Adrian, you know you’re going to spend the next hour coughing up a foamy hairball on the rug as your cat looks at you like, “Now you know how it feels, whore.”
Pic: Bauer Griffin